10 yo DS too shy to be polite

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I taught my kids around age 2 and 3 that not all kids had such good manners as them and to be very proud of themselves for their wonderful manners, and to say it "loud and proud." Why did you let him get to such an old age without working on this much earlier?

What does he think will happen if people notice he said thank you? They'll ... say you're welcome? Honestly, at his age I'd find it totally unacceptable and not allow him to accept anything unless he can say thank you. No ordering food in restaurants, no gifts, nothing. Not until he can bring himself to look people in the eye for the half second it takes to audibly say thank you. This coddling is total BS.

What the hell is wrong with you???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He was actually a lot better years ago. This shyness started only around 18 months ago, unfortunately when strangers start expecting more.

OP, my child had a few years where she was PAINFULLY shy and couldn't even utter a word to an adult she wasn't super comfortable around. I would ask her about it and she would say "I WANT to say thank you but the words won't come out." The pediatrician felt it was likely some social anxiety and to keep working with her, but also not pressure her unnecessarily. Adults aren't owed anything from children and if they can't understand shyness, screw them.

Now that she's 11, it's gotten a lot better. She orders her own food at restaurants (something we practiced for a long time), chats with adults during carpool, and can say please and thank you without reminding/cajoling. Just keep practicing, it will get better.

Agree with this poster, it takes lots and lots and lots of practice. My 9yo is veeeeeeery slowly getting better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP- I can't believe you all are ragging on the PP. God your kids just be brats. Guess what? Even kids with anxiety, adhd and on the spectrum can have manners. I know this because my kids do. She is spot on that there is way too much coddling these days. And I'm 35, not some crotchety boomer.

You don't have a child with anxiety.