Non Drinkers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always talk to our HS Senior about making safe choices when they go out, calling us, using Uber, etc. Well they recently announced to us that we can stop b/c they don't drink and are always the designated driver for their friends. Don't get me wrong, DH and I are not disappointed, and if this is ultimately their lifestyle choice we support it 100%, but we are concerned DC is going to go to college and decide to drink with 0 experience - which could be dangerous.

This is a legitimate concern. Our daughter’s college roommate was a skinny little thing who never drank before college and once she got there she would get herself absolutely hammered and our daughter would have to take care of her. Overly protective parents in high school really do their kids a disservice.

this is one of the judgy-est threads I’ve read on dcum and that is saying a lot. plenty of teens don’t drink in HS and college and it isn’t due to overprotective parents. my own HS aged teens and their friends don’t drink and don’t go to parties, because that is their social “scene.” They watch movies, get food, hang out and play poker or whatever. If that’s what teens feel most comfortable doing, should we push them to chug a beer and go to a party?? geez

It’s not judging at all. It’s reality. Unless your kid goes to Grove City, Liberty or BYU when they go to college they are going to be exposed to a lot of drinking, and in all likelihood they are going to join in. In my experience, it’s the kids who had strict parents in high school who are the most at risk when it comes to not handling the transition well. I’m not saying they’re all going to turn into drunken floosies or predatory frat boys, but they are going to have adjustment issues.

Every single one of my kids’ high school friends (we raised four kids) ALL drink now. They ALL do. It’s gonna happen to your kids, too. It’s amazing how divorced so many of you are from reality. You really can’t remember college? Did you speed age from 30 to 80 the moment you gave birth?

DP: You make all kinds of assumptions. No one disagrees that kids drink in college. I sure did. But you have to agree that many don't, and it isn't because they have strict parents. Their parents aren't even there, and they choose not to drink. These people exist. Your version of college social life is not their reality. So sad you don't believe that. I'm not strict about drinking. My siblings aren't either. Yet, we each have at least one child who has no desire to drink and won't, even when taunted by the siblings and cousins (and even the occasional Uncle) on vacation to join in, or by their friends at parties. No adjustment issues in college either. Three of them are out of college now and still don't drink. These kids are sure of themselves and confident in their choices. They may change their mind someday, and that is fine, and it will be on their own agenda, not due to peer pressure. They've already been through that trial, and they figured out how to deflect or not hang out with people who can't respect their choices. Like you, apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always talk to our HS Senior about making safe choices when they go out, calling us, using Uber, etc. Well they recently announced to us that we can stop b/c they don't drink and are always the designated driver for their friends. Don't get me wrong, DH and I are not disappointed, and if this is ultimately their lifestyle choice we support it 100%, but we are concerned DC is going to go to college and decide to drink with 0 experience - which could be dangerous.

This is a legitimate concern. Our daughter’s college roommate was a skinny little thing who never drank before college and once she got there she would get herself absolutely hammered and our daughter would have to take care of her. Overly protective parents in high school really do their kids a disservice.

this is one of the judgy-est threads I’ve read on dcum and that is saying a lot. plenty of teens don’t drink in HS and college and it isn’t due to overprotective parents. my own HS aged teens and their friends don’t drink and don’t go to parties, because that is their social “scene.” They watch movies, get food, hang out and play poker or whatever. If that’s what teens feel most comfortable doing, should we push them to chug a beer and go to a party?? geez

yes but again you're talking about HS kids. Neither of my kids ever went to a party in HS and are in the "smart kid" group, lots of movies, coffee dates, etc. Never into the party, popular kid scene. The minute they walk onto campus though, they are hit with nonstop partying, drinking, smoking (and worse). Just FYI. I have posted on this board about this before and still people just have their heads in the sand. Most of my kids friends did not drink in high school either and ALOT of them went somewhat crazy with drinking, drugs and sex once they got to school. Thankfully, they eventually do settle down but that first year is somewhat of a free for all. Believe me or don't.

But my kid did not want to walk into the scene you are describing, so did her homework in advance. Your kids either wanted an environment like this, did not care, did no research in advance or chose their college based upon ranking instead of fit). My kid ruled out schools where kids were pressured to party and there were few alternatives on the weekend. At 21, she started drinking occasionally (like wine at a nice restaurant or senior week events). That was her choice, not mine. We talked about her preferences at her initiation. Believe me or don’t.

My kids went to a top 30 school, it’s not like they are at a “party school”. Just FYI. They were quite surprised at what they found was typical even among the top schools.

So what does unigo say about it?

Majority says only drink on weekends but a fair amount also include some drinking every night. My kid has not seen drinking every night, it’s really Thursday to Saturday mostly but those kids go hard on those days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always talk to our HS Senior about making safe choices when they go out, calling us, using Uber, etc. Well they recently announced to us that we can stop b/c they don't drink and are always the designated driver for their friends. Don't get me wrong, DH and I are not disappointed, and if this is ultimately their lifestyle choice we support it 100%, but we are concerned DC is going to go to college and decide to drink with 0 experience - which could be dangerous.

This is a legitimate concern. Our daughter’s college roommate was a skinny little thing who never drank before college and once she got there she would get herself absolutely hammered and our daughter would have to take care of her. Overly protective parents in high school really do their kids a disservice.

You think none of the wasted kids at frats drank in high school? Or that this girl wouldn't be getting wasted now if she had started getting wasted at 16 instead of 18?

Lord, help us.

I think the girl got her first taste of freedom when she got to college and took big time advantage. To this day, her parents have no idea how she behaved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always talk to our HS Senior about making safe choices when they go out, calling us, using Uber, etc. Well they recently announced to us that we can stop b/c they don't drink and are always the designated driver for their friends. Don't get me wrong, DH and I are not disappointed, and if this is ultimately their lifestyle choice we support it 100%, but we are concerned DC is going to go to college and decide to drink with 0 experience - which could be dangerous.

This is a legitimate concern. Our daughter’s college roommate was a skinny little thing who never drank before college and once she got there she would get herself absolutely hammered and our daughter would have to take care of her. Overly protective parents in high school really do their kids a disservice.

this is one of the judgy-est threads I’ve read on dcum and that is saying a lot. plenty of teens don’t drink in HS and college and it isn’t due to overprotective parents. my own HS aged teens and their friends don’t drink and don’t go to parties, because that is their social “scene.” They watch movies, get food, hang out and play poker or whatever. If that’s what teens feel most comfortable doing, should we push them to chug a beer and go to a party?? geez

It’s not judging at all. It’s reality. Unless your kid goes to Grove City, Liberty or BYU when they go to college they are going to be exposed to a lot of drinking, and in all likelihood they are going to join in. In my experience, it’s the kids who had strict parents in high school who are the most at risk when it comes to not handling the transition well. I’m not saying they’re all going to turn into drunken floosies or predatory frat boys, but they are going to have adjustment issues.

Every single one of my kids’ high school friends (we raised four kids) ALL drink now. They ALL do. It’s gonna happen to your kids, too. It’s amazing how divorced so many of you are from reality. You really can’t remember college? Did you speed age from 30 to 80 the moment you gave birth?

Don’t assume your sample of four, and their like-minded friends represent the universe of kids.

It is arrogant and hilarious that you think we need you to tell us that many kids drink in college.

I’m not just talking about my kids and their friends. I’m talking about virtually all kids. We don’t live in Utah. Get your head out from under the sand, grandmom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I attended a school with a dry campus (not BYU, a liberal SLAC), and never actually encountered alcohol or drugs in my time there (it surely was present, but minimally). Kid attends now and reports the same. For her it was the deciding factor between two schools. If you're not a drinker, it's nice to have it be a non-issue.

Look, I’m sorry but I just don’t believe you. There’s no mainstream college in America where college kids are not encountering any alcohol or drugs on campus. Name the school. You can do that without outing yourself, and you’d also be doing the OP a favor. Where is this very special and unique place?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a school with a dry campus (not BYU, a liberal SLAC), and never actually encountered alcohol or drugs in my time there (it surely was present, but minimally). Kid attends now and reports the same. For her it was the deciding factor between two schools. If you're not a drinker, it's nice to have it be a non-issue.

Look, I’m sorry but I just don’t believe you. There’s no mainstream college in America where college kids are not encountering any alcohol or drugs on campus. Name the school. You can do that without outing yourself, and you’d also be doing the OP a favor. Where is this very special and unique place?

Yes, please name the school. As the parent of a non-partier junior, I would love to know what school has a dry campus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What portion of the student body at your DC’s college are non drinkers? And, how are they faring socially?

Avoid schools with big frat culture

at the same time, learn to handle one or two drinks

No.

[Anonymous]

Earlham College

[Anonymous]

I know a student who went there and ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always talk to our HS Senior about making safe choices when they go out, calling us, using Uber, etc. Well they recently announced to us that we can stop b/c they don't drink and are always the designated driver for their friends. Don't get me wrong, DH and I are not disappointed, and if this is ultimately their lifestyle choice we support it 100%, but we are concerned DC is going to go to college and decide to drink with 0 experience - which could be dangerous.

This is a legitimate concern. Our daughter’s college roommate was a skinny little thing who never drank before college and once she got there she would get herself absolutely hammered and our daughter would have to take care of her. Overly protective parents in high school really do their kids a disservice.

this is one of the judgy-est threads I’ve read on dcum and that is saying a lot. plenty of teens don’t drink in HS and college and it isn’t due to overprotective parents. my own HS aged teens and their friends don’t drink and don’t go to parties, because that is their social “scene.” They watch movies, get food, hang out and play poker or whatever. If that’s what teens feel most comfortable doing, should we push them to chug a beer and go to a party?? geez

yes but again you're talking about HS kids. Neither of my kids ever went to a party in HS and are in the "smart kid" group, lots of movies, coffee dates, etc. Never into the party, popular kid scene. The minute they walk onto campus though, they are hit with nonstop partying, drinking, smoking (and worse). Just FYI. I have posted on this board about this before and still people just have their heads in the sand. Most of my kids friends did not drink in high school either and ALOT of them went somewhat crazy with drinking, drugs and sex once they got to school. Thankfully, they eventually do settle down but that first year is somewhat of a free for all. Believe me or don't.

But my kid did not want to walk into the scene you are describing, so did her homework in advance. Your kids either wanted an environment like this, did not care, did no research in advance or chose their college based upon ranking instead of fit). My kid ruled out schools where kids were pressured to party and there were few alternatives on the weekend. At 21, she started drinking occasionally (like wine at a nice restaurant or senior week events). That was her choice, not mine. We talked about her preferences at her initiation. Believe me or don’t.

My kids went to a top 30 school, it’s not like they are at a “party school”. Just FYI. They were quite surprised at what they found was typical even among the top schools.

Ranking is not the same as drinking culture. Did your kid’s research into the school stop at their USNWR ranking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always talk to our HS Senior about making safe choices when they go out, calling us, using Uber, etc. Well they recently announced to us that we can stop b/c they don't drink and are always the designated driver for their friends. Don't get me wrong, DH and I are not disappointed, and if this is ultimately their lifestyle choice we support it 100%, but we are concerned DC is going to go to college and decide to drink with 0 experience - which could be dangerous.

This is a legitimate concern. Our daughter’s college roommate was a skinny little thing who never drank before college and once she got there she would get herself absolutely hammered and our daughter would have to take care of her. Overly protective parents in high school really do their kids a disservice.

this is one of the judgy-est threads I’ve read on dcum and that is saying a lot. plenty of teens don’t drink in HS and college and it isn’t due to overprotective parents. my own HS aged teens and their friends don’t drink and don’t go to parties, because that is their social “scene.” They watch movies, get food, hang out and play poker or whatever. If that’s what teens feel most comfortable doing, should we push them to chug a beer and go to a party?? geez

yes but again you're talking about HS kids. Neither of my kids ever went to a party in HS and are in the "smart kid" group, lots of movies, coffee dates, etc. Never into the party, popular kid scene. The minute they walk onto campus though, they are hit with nonstop partying, drinking, smoking (and worse). Just FYI. I have posted on this board about this before and still people just have their heads in the sand. Most of my kids friends did not drink in high school either and ALOT of them went somewhat crazy with drinking, drugs and sex once they got to school. Thankfully, they eventually do settle down but that first year is somewhat of a free for all. Believe me or don't.

But my kid did not want to walk into the scene you are describing, so did her homework in advance. Your kids either wanted an environment like this, did not care, did no research in advance or chose their college based upon ranking instead of fit). My kid ruled out schools where kids were pressured to party and there were few alternatives on the weekend. At 21, she started drinking occasionally (like wine at a nice restaurant or senior week events). That was her choice, not mine. We talked about her preferences at her initiation. Believe me or don’t.

My kids went to a top 30 school, it’s not like they are at a “party school”. Just FYI. They were quite surprised at what they found was typical even among the top schools.

Ranking is not the same as drinking culture. Did your kid’s research into the school stop at their USNWR ranking?

Boy oh boy take the blinders off. My point is that heavy drinking is predominant on MOST college campuses, not just there you might expect (like wvu for example).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What portion of the student body at your DC’s college are non drinkers? And, how are they faring socially?

Avoid schools with big frat culture

at the same time, learn to handle one or two drinks

Disgusting comment. Seek help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What portion of the student body at your DC’s college are non drinkers? And, how are they faring socially?

Avoid schools with big frat culture

at the same time, learn to handle one or two drinks

Disgusting comment. Seek help.

Why is that disgusting? Pretty sure you’re the one who may need help.