Why do some women ruin their looks with tattoos?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH told me that FIL said the exact same thing recently. "I don't understand why pretty young women ruin their looks with tattoos."

And I said, yeah, first of all your dad is like all old people who can't believe the next generation has different preferences and standards and thinks theirs should remain supreme for all time. And secondly, your dad is blind to his ingrained misogyny in thinking that "pretty young women" need to give a flying fook what some stranger thinks. And my husband said, no no, of course my dad isn't misogynistic, and I said look, it's ingrained in us to think that women are supposed to behave in certain ways and earn the attention and protection of men. It's a subtle, subconscious thing, and it takes effort and self-awareness to recognize and reject it.

It's just pretty wild to think that people you don't know should care about being aesthetically pleasing to you. Hello entitlement.

Why are so few people capable of thinking abstractly when it comes to stuff like this? It has nothing to do with wanting strangers to be aesthetically pleasing to an individual person. In principle, yes, young women should as a whole not be encouraged do things to mar their beauty on purpose. Based on the answers in this thread, the tattoo very much is an expression of “screw you, if you think I’m ugly!” which is a statement in and of itself. It speaks of a petulant disdain for social restraint and lack of long-term thinking which is not a positive quality to have in a civilized, eusocial society. Has nothing to do with who does and does not get a boner from it.

This is an extremely problematic viewpoint. Women’s bodies are their own, to do with as they please. They are not a collective good.

And people’s opinions and viewpoints are their own, to do with what they please. Why is it any more wrong for them to think that it’s unnattractive then? Why do people want to control or change other people’s visceral reaction to seeing a beautiful woman scribbled on like a school desk then? Why is it any more wrong for a mother to not want that for her daughter? Just because a man *can* waste his life away playing video games and doing drugs as he pleases does it mean people are wrong for discouraging such a life and finding it unnattractive?

Think what you please but don’t expect anyone to give two shits about your opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH told me that FIL said the exact same thing recently. "I don't understand why pretty young women ruin their looks with tattoos."

And I said, yeah, first of all your dad is like all old people who can't believe the next generation has different preferences and standards and thinks theirs should remain supreme for all time. And secondly, your dad is blind to his ingrained misogyny in thinking that "pretty young women" need to give a flying fook what some stranger thinks. And my husband said, no no, of course my dad isn't misogynistic, and I said look, it's ingrained in us to think that women are supposed to behave in certain ways and earn the attention and protection of men. It's a subtle, subconscious thing, and it takes effort and self-awareness to recognize and reject it.

It's just pretty wild to think that people you don't know should care about being aesthetically pleasing to you. Hello entitlement.

Why are so few people capable of thinking abstractly when it comes to stuff like this? It has nothing to do with wanting strangers to be aesthetically pleasing to an individual person. In principle, yes, young women should as a whole not be encouraged do things to mar their beauty on purpose. Based on the answers in this thread, the tattoo very much is an expression of “screw you, if you think I’m ugly!” which is a statement in and of itself. It speaks of a petulant disdain for social restraint and lack of long-term thinking which is not a positive quality to have in a civilized, eusocial society. Has nothing to do with who does and does not get a boner from it.

This is an extremely problematic viewpoint. Women’s bodies are their own, to do with as they please. They are not a collective good.

And people’s opinions and viewpoints are their own, to do with what they please. Why is it any more wrong for them to think that it’s unnattractive then? Why do people want to control or change other people’s visceral reaction to seeing a beautiful woman scribbled on like a school desk then? Why is it any more wrong for a mother to not want that for her daughter? Just because a man *can* waste his life away playing video games and doing drugs as he pleases does it mean people are wrong for discouraging such a life and finding it unnattractive?

Think what you please but don’t expect anyone to give two shits about your opinion.

And nobody cares that you don’t care what people think. Truly a marvel how useless this line of thinking becomes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is a crazy thought… women like tattoos just because they like them for themselves. They are not trying to impress any men or you for that matter.

Women looking to date generally put a lot of effort into their appearance, just like men try to enhance their own attractiveness. If more women were aware of the fact that a very high percentage of men find tattoos to be a turn off then I think it would change their behavior and help them out. There are things that men do that also turn women off, like playing too many video games or sending d*ck pics. I think that should be talked about as well.

…why are you assuming she wants to date men?

-women who thinks women with lots of tattoos are 🔥

[Anonymous]

I would expect a large portion of woman that have many tattoos, have some emotional issues.

[Anonymous]

I always wonder about how those tattooes are gonna look at age 80 with loose skin. I’m not into it but I dgaf if other people do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would expect a large portion of woman that have many tattoos, have some emotional issues.

Have many tattoos and no emotional issues. I'm a lawyer, a parent, and generally a pretty healthy person.

I think people that are judgmental usually have mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH told me that FIL said the exact same thing recently. "I don't understand why pretty young women ruin their looks with tattoos."

And I said, yeah, first of all your dad is like all old people who can't believe the next generation has different preferences and standards and thinks theirs should remain supreme for all time. And secondly, your dad is blind to his ingrained misogyny in thinking that "pretty young women" need to give a flying fook what some stranger thinks. And my husband said, no no, of course my dad isn't misogynistic, and I said look, it's ingrained in us to think that women are supposed to behave in certain ways and earn the attention and protection of men. It's a subtle, subconscious thing, and it takes effort and self-awareness to recognize and reject it.

It's just pretty wild to think that people you don't know should care about being aesthetically pleasing to you. Hello entitlement.

Why are so few people capable of thinking abstractly when it comes to stuff like this? It has nothing to do with wanting strangers to be aesthetically pleasing to an individual person. In principle, yes, young women should as a whole not be encouraged do things to mar their beauty on purpose. Based on the answers in this thread, the tattoo very much is an expression of “screw you, if you think I’m ugly!” which is a statement in and of itself. It speaks of a petulant disdain for social restraint and lack of long-term thinking which is not a positive quality to have in a civilized, eusocial society. Has nothing to do with who does and does not get a boner from it.

This is an extremely problematic viewpoint. Women’s bodies are their own, to do with as they please. They are not a collective good.

And people’s opinions and viewpoints are their own, to do with what they please. Why is it any more wrong for them to think that it’s unnattractive then? Why do people want to control or change other people’s visceral reaction to seeing a beautiful woman scribbled on like a school desk then? Why is it any more wrong for a mother to not want that for her daughter? Just because a man *can* waste his life away playing video games and doing drugs as he pleases does it mean people are wrong for discouraging such a life and finding it unnattractive?

You’re very nearly right but you miss the last connection. People’s opinions and viewpoints are there own which means trying to universalize them, by saying for example that it’s a matter of principle that women should have tattoos, means the speaker is inflating the value of their own viewpoint against the value of the viewpoint of the person with actual autonomy over the body on question— basically you’re entitled to your opinion but when your opinion tries to pretend it’s a rule for everyone, your sense of your own importance is inflated.

There are many physical traits in both men and women I find unattractive— balding, overweight men who have hair on their backs are a cringe for *me*. But it is not therefore a principle that men should be encouraged to get hair implants, exercise more, and find a good waxing salon, it is just *my* aesthetic views. I assume that other women have different views and that the men in question aren’t trying to be attractive to me.

[Anonymous]

I mean, not everyone has the same sense of what ruins one's looks. A ton of tattoos is not my thing (i have one very small one on the back of my shoulder), but if someone else likes how it looks, and wants to do it, that's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH told me that FIL said the exact same thing recently. "I don't understand why pretty young women ruin their looks with tattoos."

And I said, yeah, first of all your dad is like all old people who can't believe the next generation has different preferences and standards and thinks theirs should remain supreme for all time. And secondly, your dad is blind to his ingrained misogyny in thinking that "pretty young women" need to give a flying fook what some stranger thinks. And my husband said, no no, of course my dad isn't misogynistic, and I said look, it's ingrained in us to think that women are supposed to behave in certain ways and earn the attention and protection of men. It's a subtle, subconscious thing, and it takes effort and self-awareness to recognize and reject it.

It's just pretty wild to think that people you don't know should care about being aesthetically pleasing to you. Hello entitlement.

Why are so few people capable of thinking abstractly when it comes to stuff like this? It has nothing to do with wanting strangers to be aesthetically pleasing to an individual person. In principle, yes, young women should as a whole not be encouraged do things to mar their beauty on purpose. Based on the answers in this thread, the tattoo very much is an expression of “screw you, if you think I’m ugly!” which is a statement in and of itself. It speaks of a petulant disdain for social restraint and lack of long-term thinking which is not a positive quality to have in a civilized, eusocial society. Has nothing to do with who does and does not get a boner from it.

This is an extremely problematic viewpoint. Women’s bodies are their own, to do with as they please. They are not a collective good.

And people’s opinions and viewpoints are their own, to do with what they please. Why is it any more wrong for them to think that it’s unnattractive then? Why do people want to control or change other people’s visceral reaction to seeing a beautiful woman scribbled on like a school desk then? Why is it any more wrong for a mother to not want that for her daughter? Just because a man *can* waste his life away playing video games and doing drugs as he pleases does it mean people are wrong for discouraging such a life and finding it unnattractive?

Think what you please but don’t expect anyone to give two shits about your opinion.

And nobody cares that you don’t care what people think. Truly a marvel how useless this line of thinking becomes!

YOU are the one who posted that “young women should as a whole not be encouraged blah blah blah.” That’s not just a personal opinion, that’s an action statement. Young women’s bodies are none of your business. When you choose to incite action about something that is a personal matter, it’s incumbent that other people let you know that you are overstepping. Care about your own body. Leave everyone else alone.

[Anonymous]

I have tattoos to weed people out of my life that care a lot about what other people do with their bodies. So far, so good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always wonder about how those tattooes are gonna look at age 80 with loose skin. I’m not into it but I dgaf if other people do it.

If someone is looking at all at my wrinkly blown-out tattoos at 80, I'll consider that doing pretty well for myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PTA meeting can’t start until the basic moms with the shttiest tattoos you’ve ever seen arrive.

...and they're probably the ones who run the bakesale table, know the names of the custodial staff, update the spreadsheets, spearhead the thank-you lunch for the teachers, and fight for having more aids in the classrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect a large portion of woman that have many tattoos, have some emotional issues.

Have many tattoos and no emotional issues. I'm a lawyer, a parent, and generally a pretty healthy person.

I think people that are judgmental usually have mental illness.

That's quite judgmental...

[Anonymous]

"A large percentage of men find tattoos on women to be a huge turnoff." Really? Men everywhere share this opinion? How big was your sample size? How large was the geographic area you covered? Do you mean "all men" or do you mean men of your same background and ethnicity? Let's be honest . . . you've had, what, three conversations about women's tattoos being unattractive in your life? But of course there can be no doubt about the universality of your opinion.

This sentiment belies a feeling of being on top of the food chain and bestowing your "helpful" opinion as though tattooed women crying into their pillows that they can't get a man to stick around is some large scale problem. How many of these tragically tattooed women are having a hard time finding a mate? That's not even a thing. The issue is with you feeling frustrated that a woman wholly unconnected to you has the gall to make herself less attractive to you. But it's not that you are a misogynist or full of entitlement and bias! The issue is that this poor little lady is inadvertently turning off ALL the men! If only she knew that everyone else is consumed with disgust over the ancient practice of body art . . . you're just trying to be helpful!

I've been there. I've had bias against people because their standards were different than those of my group, and as I'm a WASP it's easy to assume in America that my way is considered the gold standard. It was only when I realized how random (and frankly, often uninteresting) the standards of beauty/fashion/etiquette/etc. were for my group as compared to others that I saw that my judgment belied a "how dare they cast off our standards!" attitude.

Life is much more interesting when you understand that standards of beauty are arbitrary and that strong feelings about what is or isn't beautiful are not of interest to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you choose something ageless? I cringe at the things I liked and bought when I was 20. Imagine if I was living with the tattoos I thought were cool then.

This, plus how poorly they age, is why I've never gotten any.