Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a NE boarding school (one of Andover/Exeter/Deerfield) and private universities for undergrad and grad school. DH went to public school through 12th grade and flagship state schools for undergrad and grad school (Michigan/UVA/Berkeley/UNC … that sort of thing).

We’ve talked about what we think we each gained from our experiences.

He has better street smarts than I do; he gained a lot from having to navigate massive university bureaucracies.

I think there are certain substantive areas I know better than he does. For example, while his knowledge of grammar is certainly strong enough to do his job well, he often asks me to proofread important emails or asks me why a certain grammatical rule is what it is. I think I have a broader knowledge base than he does when it comes to literature. I benefitted from a very expansive English curriculum in high school.

Honestly, though, what I learned in high school he largely just learned in college, so at the end of the day, we ended up in roughly the same place.

This is hysterical. You really think he needs you to proof his emails because he went to public HS? Let me guess…he makes more money than you do?

He’s told me as much.

[Anonymous]

Why would anyone be jealous of anyone else, OP? I have never understood jealousy and envy. You make your life what you want, and don't complain if you failed to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not even remotely jealous of anyone's education. College is college. Where you went doesn't matter. All I'm jealous of is people who make a lot more money than me. We're pretty rich ourselves, but there are people who are a lot richer. I envy them for sure.

In the real world, it's money that talks. Not educational pedigree.

What an empty life.

LOL. As opposed to being jealous because somebody went to Harvard? Seriously? At least my jealously makes sense.

No. I'm the poster who admires it and is not jealous. Basing your entire existence on money is just well, sad and inane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to an HYP undergrad and had a miserable experience. Still regret it many years later. Could have gone to my state school for free plus a stipend! Sigh. YMMV…

No you didn’t. Troll.

+1. So obvious.

I don’t think that’s a troll. I went to HYS and I knew a lot of deeply miserable people. They aren’t happy places with well-adjusted people.

+1

Ivy alum here and my school was teeming with miserable undergrads focused on getting the next brass ring. Not very many well-adjusted, down-to-earth people from my undergrad. That kind of "insecure overachiever" (as coined by McKinsey as their ideal candidate) generally tends to do relatively well financially, but are normally miserable as adults and end up as status seekers. I think the primary traits elite schools select for are competitiveness and status-consciousness.

I feel like DCUM has a lot of those types of people. Too much emphasis on going to the "right" schools, living in the "right" neighborhood, getting the "right" jobs. The best thing I did for myself after my miserable undergrad experience was slowly learning to take risks and feel comfortable living a life that’s interesting and enjoyable but doesn’t revolve around catching the brass ring. It’s such a profound shift from the mindset most Ivy League grads have…I’m convinced you can only snap out of that brain state after a severe personal crisis that causes you to question all the foundational values you were raised with. I’m glad I got mine over with at a young age.

Basically Ivy League schools are sociopath factories that teach you to be a ruthless nihilist careerist. It’s hard to rediscover your own humanity afterwards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to an HYP undergrad and had a miserable experience. Still regret it many years later. Could have gone to my state school for free plus a stipend! Sigh. YMMV…

No you didn’t. Troll.

+1. So obvious.

I don’t think that’s a troll. I went to HYS and I knew a lot of deeply miserable people. They aren’t happy places with well-adjusted people.

+1

Ivy alum here and my school was teeming with miserable undergrads focused on getting the next brass ring. Not very many well-adjusted, down-to-earth people from my undergrad. That kind of "insecure overachiever" (as coined by McKinsey as their ideal candidate) generally tends to do relatively well financially, but are normally miserable as adults and end up as status seekers. I think the primary traits elite schools select for are competitiveness and status-consciousness.

I feel like DCUM has a lot of those types of people. Too much emphasis on going to the "right" schools, living in the "right" neighborhood, getting the "right" jobs. The best thing I did for myself after my miserable undergrad experience was slowly learning to take risks and feel comfortable living a life that’s interesting and enjoyable but doesn’t revolve around catching the brass ring. It’s such a profound shift from the mindset most Ivy League grads have…I’m convinced you can only snap out of that brain state after a severe personal crisis that causes you to question all the foundational values you were raised with. I’m glad I got mine over with at a young age.

Basically Ivy League schools are sociopath factories that teach you to be a ruthless nihilist careerist. It’s hard to rediscover your own humanity afterwards.

-1

You are clearly a troll, or an alum of one of the fake Ivies that have no sense of community and are filled with a bunch of cutthroat, status-seeking grinders (Cornell or Columbia most likely). I'm an HYPS alum and I loved my experience, and so did most of my classmates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone be jealous of anyone else, OP? I have never understood jealousy and envy. You make your life what you want, and don't complain if you failed to do that.

Emotions are not something you can switch on and off. Why would anyone love or hate anyone else? why would anyone be sad, or angry, or annoyed, or wistful, or regretful?

[Anonymous]

I see the benefit but Harvard etc aren't always better.

The top kids at any big schools will be as smart and capable as the top kids at Harvard etc but the 4th quartile kids at a big state school will be much worse.

I was hired as an analyst out of undergrad by Goldman. In my analyst class was a kid from Harvard that I worked closely with. He was no smarter or more qualified than I was and in the end, I was one of three (along with him) promoted directly to associate out of 120 analysts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not even remotely jealous of anyone's education. College is college. Where you went doesn't matter. All I'm jealous of is people who make a lot more money than me. We're pretty rich ourselves, but there are people who are a lot richer. I envy them for sure.

In the real world, it's money that talks. Not educational pedigree.

What an empty life.

LOL. As opposed to being jealous because somebody went to Harvard? Seriously? At least my jealously makes sense.

No. I'm the poster who admires it and is not jealous. Basing your entire existence on money is just well, sad and inane.

no pp, but nobody is basing entire existence on money, but money is very very very very important, at least much more important than getting into a name brand school.

[Anonymous]

No, I’m more jealous of the trust babies I meet who went to like NYU, Colorado College, etc. who work some random jobs in a low paying field with a beautiful apartment or home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to an HYP undergrad and had a miserable experience. Still regret it many years later. Could have gone to my state school for free plus a stipend! Sigh. YMMV…

No you didn’t. Troll.

+1. So obvious.

I don’t think that’s a troll. I went to HYS and I knew a lot of deeply miserable people. They aren’t happy places with well-adjusted people.

+1

Ivy alum here and my school was teeming with miserable undergrads focused on getting the next brass ring. Not very many well-adjusted, down-to-earth people from my undergrad. That kind of "insecure overachiever" (as coined by McKinsey as their ideal candidate) generally tends to do relatively well financially, but are normally miserable as adults and end up as status seekers. I think the primary traits elite schools select for are competitiveness and status-consciousness.

I feel like DCUM has a lot of those types of people. Too much emphasis on going to the "right" schools, living in the "right" neighborhood, getting the "right" jobs. The best thing I did for myself after my miserable undergrad experience was slowly learning to take risks and feel comfortable living a life that’s interesting and enjoyable but doesn’t revolve around catching the brass ring. It’s such a profound shift from the mindset most Ivy League grads have…I’m convinced you can only snap out of that brain state after a severe personal crisis that causes you to question all the foundational values you were raised with. I’m glad I got mine over with at a young age.

Basically Ivy League schools are sociopath factories that teach you to be a ruthless nihilist careerist. It’s hard to rediscover your own humanity afterwards.

-1

You are clearly a troll, or an alum of one of the fake Ivies that have no sense of community and are filled with a bunch of cutthroat, status-seeking grinders (Cornell or Columbia most likely). I'm an HYPS alum and I loved my experience, and so did most of my classmates.

You are so wildly panicked and defensive. PP nailed it, and it’s making you squirm because you feel seen. You’re thrashing about, insistent that PP is a “troll” because the accuracy of what PP wrote is distressing to you. It’s interesting to watch.

I went to HYS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, my spouse went to no name schools and makes more than my sibling doctor who went to ivys.

I guess for me, it's not really about the money. It's about all the vague, ambiguous things, like class and pedigree. I don't necessarily like that I think this way, but I do. You can fake a lot of things in life, like the ability to buy luxury brands or nice clothing or an expensive watch, or certain affectations. But education? You can't fake that.

Columbia was literally caught faking rankings, and 1/3rd of their students come in through the General Studies backdoor. Definitely fakeable.

Sure... but a Columbia College (or a degree from one of Columbia's actual grad/professional schools) is still highly covetable.

No. Columbia cheated and got caught. Where do their lies end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to an HYP undergrad and had a miserable experience. Still regret it many years later. Could have gone to my state school for free plus a stipend! Sigh. YMMV…

My DC went to an HYP undergrad and had a wonderful experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, my spouse went to no name schools and makes more than my sibling doctor who went to ivys.

I guess for me, it's not really about the money. It's about all the vague, ambiguous things, like class and pedigree. I don't necessarily like that I think this way, but I do. You can fake a lot of things in life, like the ability to buy luxury brands or nice clothing or an expensive watch, or certain affectations. But education? You can't fake that.

Columbia was literally caught faking rankings, and 1/3rd of their students come in through the General Studies backdoor. Definitely fakeable.

Columbia’s General Studies “backdoor” in no way diminishes the quality of education at Columbia. Columbia was caught, but all the top schools have games the system for 30 years or more, almost all by doing things that don’t actually affect the education or outcome. That’s why USNWR will be 0 factor for us.

Please stop the gaslighting! The backdoor has diminished and will continue to diminish the quality of education at Columbia.
I disagree that ALL the "top" schools game the system.
You are welcome to provide a list of those schools and substantiation to support your assertion.

[Anonymous]

Functions the same way as any brand name does. Why do people buy a Celine purse or a Hermes scarf? A generic brand bag will do, and places like Walmart sell scarves that are just as sturdy. But people like brands, prestige, signaling power. There’s your answer.

[Anonymous]

Never have I ever been jealous or really cared about where somebody went to school - at any level of education. I’ve worked for many years and I’ve met them all. Not much to say really. I think if you’re jealous it may come from a place of insecurity in yourself?