Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, knowing how a big percentage gets in on different quotas or by using their money, connections etc., it makes one question eligibility of every applicant. Even for everyone who gets in on merit, there are 10 equally or more eligible who doesn't get accepted because admission officers have personal biases which play for for against every applicant.

Totally agree. So many kids get into these schools are legacy admits or have some other connection to the school. I know this personally in my own family. The kids in my family who were admitted did well in school but were not the superstar kids that you would expect. It is not a merit system. That is why with my own DD, I do not care what she does or what college she goes to (thought she does have legacy to an ivy through her father). I wish that kids and parents were better aware of the system, so that they wouldn't be so disappointed or think that they were not "good enough." They are plenty good enough; they just weren't lucky enough to be born into a networked family.

There have been studies that show that the college that one attends does not have an impact on success or income 10 years out of college (except for the underprivileged where the connections of a good school give a boost). Elite schools are in place to help elites maintain their privilege.

This is true in some cases, but there are lots of kids who work like crazy to stand out and merit acceptance. We have no ties to any of the Ivies/T10 my kid go into. We are MC and need (and got) FA. Many of the kids my kid knows are not legacy and were just outstanding students. Mine won nat'l awards, NMSF, Capt of sports team, pres of clubs, all the honor societies, submitted arts portfolios, wrote great essays, etc etc. Many of the kids she's meeting worked on a similar level. Sure, there will be kids for whom connections gave a big boost, but most just worked hard and stood out.

+1. I think some ppl are really overestimating just how many legacies attend these schools.

[Anonymous]

I did as well as my Ivy League friends and I only have a high school diploma!

[Anonymous]

At Harvard, approximately 30% of the enrolled students are legacies. While regular applicants have a 3-6% admittance rate, legacies have a 30+% admittance rate.

Schools tend to guard their legacy figures tightly, but this was revealed during the lawsuit at Harvard. I believe that all schools should drop legacy preference.

I recall an interview with Sebastian Thrun, who started Udacity and was a professor at Stanford. He opened up his online graduate level computer science course at Stanford to everyone in the world. He had thousands of students. When he finished all of the grades, he realized that his best graduate CS student at Stanford ranked something like #1040 in the class. The adage that there is more talent than opportunity is true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did as well as my Ivy League friends and I only have a high school diploma!

With that kind of snarky attitude, you have to wonder about the next generation. PP's kids will be represented in various juvenile courts by indigenous public defenders, unable to afford ivy league attorneys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At Harvard, approximately 30% of the enrolled students are legacies. While regular applicants have a 3-6% admittance rate, legacies have a 30+% admittance rate.

Schools tend to guard their legacy figures tightly, but this was revealed during the lawsuit at Harvard. I believe that all schools should drop legacy preference.

I recall an interview with Sebastian Thrun, who started Udacity and was a professor at Stanford. He opened up his online graduate level computer science course at Stanford to everyone in the world. He had thousands of students. When he finished all of the grades, he realized that his best graduate CS student at Stanford ranked something like #1040 in the class. The adage that there is more talent than opportunity is true.

What prevents Harvard kids from inheriting smart genes from their Harvard parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, knowing how a big percentage gets in on different quotas or by using their money, connections etc., it makes one question eligibility of every applicant. Even for everyone who gets in on merit, there are 10 equally or more eligible who doesn't get accepted because admission officers have personal biases which play for for against every applicant.

Totally agree. So many kids get into these schools are legacy admits or have some other connection to the school. I know this personally in my own family. The kids in my family who were admitted did well in school but were not the superstar kids that you would expect. It is not a merit system. That is why with my own DD, I do not care what she does or what college she goes to (thought she does have legacy to an ivy through her father). I wish that kids and parents were better aware of the system, so that they wouldn't be so disappointed or think that they were not "good enough." They are plenty good enough; they just weren't lucky enough to be born into a networked family.

There have been studies that show that the college that one attends does not have an impact on success or income 10 years out of college (except for the underprivileged where the connections of a good school give a boost). Elite schools are in place to help elites maintain their privilege.

This is true in some cases, but there are lots of kids who work like crazy to stand out and merit acceptance. We have no ties to any of the Ivies/T10 my kid go into. We are MC and need (and got) FA. Many of the kids my kid knows are not legacy and were just outstanding students. Mine won nat'l awards, NMSF, Capt of sports team, pres of clubs, all the honor societies, submitted arts portfolios, wrote great essays, etc etc. Many of the kids she's meeting worked on a similar level. Sure, there will be kids for whom connections gave a big boost, but most just worked hard and stood out.

+1. I think some ppl are really overestimating just how many legacies attend these schools.

Maybe.

But it is not just legacies, most people who get into that school have parents or caregivers who have the cultural knowledge/capital to help guide their kid to a place where they have a chance of being successful. I guess these days, with information being at everyones fingertips via the interent, it is a little easier to come from a background where you nor your parents literally have never met anyone who went to an Ivy, and still get into one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did as well as my Ivy League friends and I only have a high school diploma!

With that kind of snarky attitude, you have to wonder about the next generation. PP's kids will be represented in various juvenile courts by indigenous public defenders, unable to afford ivy league attorneys.

What's your beef with indigenous people? Did you mean indigent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did as well as my Ivy League friends and I only have a high school diploma!

With that kind of snarky attitude, you have to wonder about the next generation. PP's kids will be represented in various juvenile courts by indigenous public defenders, unable to afford ivy league attorneys.

What's your beef with indigenous people? Did you mean indigent?

Indigent.

[Anonymous]

Honest answer to the question... I'm not jealous, I'm typically impressed, but it does serve as motivation to me and spark my competitive nature.
- Eng grad from VT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm moderately successful, I would like to think. I'm by and large happy and stable. I have a degree from a public school that, for the most part, hasn't been a disservice to my career. My college experience, many years ago at this point, was fine (no highs or lows). I feel like I came into my own after college, where I was fortunate to fall in with a circle of brilliant friends and acquaintances. Here's the thing. They all have degrees from from Yale, Stanford, Cornell, Brown, Northwestern, Columbia, UChicago, etc. ... and I am literally the only one who graduated from your average run-of-the-mill school. Although they never make it a point to alienate me, I do definitely feel like the odd duckling out at times, and can't help but feel a little bit jealous at points.

Anyone have this experience, too, or am I crazy?

Not jealous of their degrees. I am sure though I would have gone much further in life (including my personal life) if my parents had been more well educated. My father was blue color. They jumped at the first scholarship I was offered (from a very mediocre school). My test scores were off the charts but we did not even make a list or consider good schools. They were just so glad my college was paid for.

I probably could have gotten a full ride to an Ivy, which would have set me on a whole different path (in terms of dating, etc), but they did not even know what to aim for. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

I guess most people are jealous but not impressed.

[Anonymous]

You don't know how they got in, sports, legacy, donation, fibbing on application, race card, etc etc

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to read the 10 page thread, but just answer the OPs question, with a resounding no. If I changed one detail of my path I wouldn't be where I am today and I'm really happy with my life. DH and I are both well educated and very comfortable financially. There will always be people who "have more" but what a miserable existence it would be to live in a constant state of comparison.

[Anonymous]

Of course not: I am a 40yo adult;

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course not: I am a 40yo adult;

You would be surprised. I know someone who went to a bottom of the barrel undergrad and also a bottom of the barrel law school (to say they "are a lawyer", of course!) and they will be frustrated for the rest of their life. Granted, it likely has far less to do with their other (multiple) issues - but those tow facts certainly did not help - even in their 40's. Yes, as sad as you would think, because they act like it bothers them - but would never admit it.