Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm moderately successful, I would like to think. I'm by and large happy and stable. I have a degree from a public school that, for the most part, hasn't been a disservice to my career. My college experience, many years ago at this point, was fine (no highs or lows). I feel like I came into my own after college, where I was fortunate to fall in with a circle of brilliant friends and acquaintances. Here's the thing. They all have degrees from from Yale, Stanford, Cornell, Brown, Northwestern, Columbia, UChicago, etc. ... and I am literally the only one who graduated from your average run-of-the-mill school. Although they never make it a point to alienate me, I do definitely feel like the odd duckling out at times, and can't help but feel a little bit jealous at points.

Anyone have this experience, too, or am I crazy?

another ridiculous troll post. So glad you found your brilliance with your shiny friends. Admit it. You live in a run down apt building somewhere near moscow.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I went to an HYP undergrad and had a miserable experience. Still regret it many years later. Could have gone to my state school for free plus a stipend! Sigh. YMMV…

No you didn’t. Troll.

+1. So obvious.

I don’t think that’s a troll. I went to HYS and I knew a lot of deeply miserable people. They aren’t happy places with well-adjusted people.

+1

Ivy alum here and my school was teeming with miserable undergrads focused on getting the next brass ring. Not very many well-adjusted, down-to-earth people from my undergrad. That kind of "insecure overachiever" (as coined by McKinsey as their ideal candidate) generally tends to do relatively well financially, but are normally miserable as adults and end up as status seekers. I think the primary traits elite schools select for are competitiveness and status-consciousness.

I feel like DCUM has a lot of those types of people. Too much emphasis on going to the "right" schools, living in the "right" neighborhood, getting the "right" jobs. The best thing I did for myself after my miserable undergrad experience was slowly learning to take risks and feel comfortable living a life that’s interesting and enjoyable but doesn’t revolve around catching the brass ring. It’s such a profound shift from the mindset most Ivy League grads have…I’m convinced you can only snap out of that brain state after a severe personal crisis that causes you to question all the foundational values you were raised with. I’m glad I got mine over with at a young age.

Basically Ivy League schools are sociopath factories that teach you to be a ruthless nihilist careerist. It’s hard to rediscover your own humanity afterwards.

-1

You are clearly a troll, or an alum of one of the fake Ivies that have no sense of community and are filled with a bunch of cutthroat, status-seeking grinders (Cornell or Columbia most likely). I'm an HYPS alum and I loved my experience, and so did most of my classmates.

You are so wildly panicked and defensive. PP nailed it, and it’s making you squirm because you feel seen. You’re thrashing about, insistent that PP is a “troll” because the accuracy of what PP wrote is distressing to you. It’s interesting to watch.

I went to HYS.

np here. This is a troll. The post is too stupid to be written by a real person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, my spouse went to no name schools and makes more than my sibling doctor who went to ivys.

I guess for me, it's not really about the money. It's about all the vague, ambiguous things, like class and pedigree. I don't necessarily like that I think this way, but I do. You can fake a lot of things in life, like the ability to buy luxury brands or nice clothing or an expensive watch, or certain affectations. But education? You can't fake that.

Columbia was literally caught faking rankings, and 1/3rd of their students come in through the General Studies backdoor. Definitely fakeable.

Is that how Obama transferred in with self-disclosed mediocre stats?

He came in from Occidental where I went. Not a great student at all but Columbia needed URM and especially likes Punahoe students. As does Oxy. He wasn’t a superstar at Harvard law either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, my spouse went to no name schools and makes more than my sibling doctor who went to ivys.

I guess for me, it's not really about the money. It's about all the vague, ambiguous things, like class and pedigree. I don't necessarily like that I think this way, but I do. You can fake a lot of things in life, like the ability to buy luxury brands or nice clothing or an expensive watch, or certain affectations. But education? You can't fake that.

Columbia was literally caught faking rankings, and 1/3rd of their students come in through the General Studies backdoor. Definitely fakeable.

Is that how Obama transferred in with self-disclosed mediocre stats?

He came in from Occidental where I went. Not a great student at all but Columbia needed URM and especially likes Punahoe students. As does Oxy. He wasn’t a superstar at Harvard law either.

^Punahou

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a self-professed education snob and it's pretty clear that many people feel insecure about their educational background. I actually place a far higher value on education than money. I'd much rather converse with an erudite pauper than some uneducated blowhard.

+100%.

Goodness. The ignorance.
Wait, let me guess, you're a teacher...

[Anonymous]

Hell no. I had a lot of fun in college and had lower student loans. I have had a great career and am in a great position - top of my profession. Thank you have been in a hiring position for years. I have seen no advantage for top 35 colleges. They may even in fact be smarter but that isn’t always the most important criteria for success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, my spouse went to no name schools and makes more than my sibling doctor who went to ivys.

I guess for me, it's not really about the money. It's about all the vague, ambiguous things, like class and pedigree. I don't necessarily like that I think this way, but I do. You can fake a lot of things in life, like the ability to buy luxury brands or nice clothing or an expensive watch, or certain affectations. But education? You can't fake that.

Columbia was literally caught faking rankings, and 1/3rd of their students come in through the General Studies backdoor. Definitely fakeable.

Is that how Obama transferred in with self-disclosed mediocre stats?

He came in from Occidental where I went. Not a great student at all but Columbia needed URM and especially likes Punahoe students. As does Oxy. He wasn’t a superstar at Harvard law either.

Um, he was editor of the Harvard law review. Yes he was a superstar at Harvard and became President. And he’s an example of why Columbia students don’t necessarily lead the rankings in highest earners after 10 years in the way that students from STEM schools are (he was probably a community organizer around that time), but still excel in many areas…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to an HYP undergrad and had a miserable experience. Still regret it many years later. Could have gone to my state school for free plus a stipend! Sigh. YMMV…

No you didn’t. Troll.

+1. So obvious.

I don’t think that’s a troll. I went to HYS and I knew a lot of deeply miserable people. They aren’t happy places with well-adjusted people.

+1

Ivy alum here and my school was teeming with miserable undergrads focused on getting the next brass ring. Not very many well-adjusted, down-to-earth people from my undergrad. That kind of "insecure overachiever" (as coined by McKinsey as their ideal candidate) generally tends to do relatively well financially, but are normally miserable as adults and end up as status seekers. I think the primary traits elite schools select for are competitiveness and status-consciousness.

I feel like DCUM has a lot of those types of people. Too much emphasis on going to the "right" schools, living in the "right" neighborhood, getting the "right" jobs. The best thing I did for myself after my miserable undergrad experience was slowly learning to take risks and feel comfortable living a life that’s interesting and enjoyable but doesn’t revolve around catching the brass ring. It’s such a profound shift from the mindset most Ivy League grads have…I’m convinced you can only snap out of that brain state after a severe personal crisis that causes you to question all the foundational values you were raised with. I’m glad I got mine over with at a young age.

Basically Ivy League schools are sociopath factories that teach you to be a ruthless nihilist careerist. It’s hard to rediscover your own humanity afterwards.

-1

You are clearly a troll, or an alum of one of the fake Ivies that have no sense of community and are filled with a bunch of cutthroat, status-seeking grinders (Cornell or Columbia most likely). I'm an HYPS alum and I loved my experience, and so did most of my classmates.

You are so wildly panicked and defensive. PP nailed it, and it’s making you squirm because you feel seen. You’re thrashing about, insistent that PP is a “troll” because the accuracy of what PP wrote is distressing to you. It’s interesting to watch.

I went to HYS.

np here. This is a troll. The post is too stupid to be written by a real person.

Lol so defensive at the person who accurately described HYSP.

As someone who went to HYSP, it’s accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, my spouse went to no name schools and makes more than my sibling doctor who went to ivys.

I guess for me, it's not really about the money. It's about all the vague, ambiguous things, like class and pedigree. I don't necessarily like that I think this way, but I do. You can fake a lot of things in life, like the ability to buy luxury brands or nice clothing or an expensive watch, or certain affectations. But education? You can't fake that.

Columbia was literally caught faking rankings, and 1/3rd of their students come in through the General Studies backdoor. Definitely fakeable.

Is that how Obama transferred in with self-disclosed mediocre stats?

He came in from Occidental where I went. Not a great student at all but Columbia needed URM and especially likes Punahoe students. As does Oxy. He wasn’t a superstar at Harvard law either.

LOL. I know at least three people on HLR with him and not one would say that. And believe me, they have no problem flexing.

[Anonymous]

I did at one point. But eventually I developed a more nuanced understanding of the situation:

Pretty much everyone I know who went to schools like that had a significant amount of parental guidance and ambition. I’m not just talking about people with wealthy parents or who had gone to these schools themselves. I mean also the people from MC families who attended Ivies. Yes, they were smart. But they also had people in their corner helping them navigate these systems. I think it makes a huge difference.

I went to my state flagship on scholarship. I only applied to 3 schools (no privates) and chose the one that was free. I graduated top of my high school class and had great ECs, but college was something I had to figure out on my own. I did. Most of my friends had very different experiences. Not better or worse, just different. And what I envy is not the Ivy League credentials (I did all right and wound up debt free post college, plus went to an elite grad school which I think helps more with my career anyway). What I envy is that family support and guidance. I’d have been happy to have gone to the same school but would have liked feeling like I had resources and someone who believed in me.

So now I make sure I offer that to my kid, but I don’t feel she has to get an Ivy league or elite college education. It’s really not necessary for success or happiness.

[Anonymous]

I’m the opposite. I went to Harvard and had a fantastic career before becoming a SAHM. Dh is very successful and makes a seven figure income.

I’m surrounded by women who went to average schools. No one mentions schools. I don’t want to act like I’m bragging. I feel like I’m always downplaying my lifestyle. This may be more about my humble beginnings and liking down to earth people better.

[Anonymous]

Who knew DCUM was crawling with Harvard Law grads who all attended the same time Obama did!

[Anonymous]

I've spent my life the education biz and know lots of grads of elite schools and LOL, no.

Occasionally I do kind of regret not experiencing one of those ultra-niche places -- St John's, Deep Springs, The Apprentice School, Wyoming Catholic, The Webb Institute, etc -- but Stanvardmouth Pennsylnellumbia? Nah.

(OK, I lie, the early twentieth century Oxford beloved of period mystery novels would be a blast.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm moderately successful, I would like to think. I'm by and large happy and stable. I have a degree from a public school that, for the most part, hasn't been a disservice to my career. My college experience, many years ago at this point, was fine (no highs or lows). I feel like I came into my own after college, where I was fortunate to fall in with a circle of brilliant friends and acquaintances. Here's the thing. They all have degrees from from Yale, Stanford, Cornell, Brown, Northwestern, Columbia, UChicago, etc. ... and I am literally the only one who graduated from your average run-of-the-mill school. Although they never make it a point to alienate me, I do definitely feel like the odd duckling out at times, and can't help but feel a little bit jealous at points.

Anyone have this experience, too, or am I crazy?

I guess so but not for the money part, just for social privileges.

[Anonymous]

Well, knowing how a big percentage gets in on different quotas or by using their money, connections etc., it makes one question eligibility of every applicant. Even for everyone who gets in on merit, there are 10 equally or more eligible who doesn't get accepted because admission officers have personal biases which play for for against every applicant.