Cruel Break-Up

[Anonymous]

His language makes him sound insane. Good thing you avoided marrying him. That sucks but he is terrible and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having to justify not picking things up? Sounds more than a little controlling. Wonder what attracted you to this guy n the first place. Sounds like an over- bearing person, instead of a true partner.

Op I think he was mad because he thought I was making excuses. And all I was trying to say was, listen, I knocked over an entire bag. Barring waking him up to find the vacuum and then run the vacuum, my best bet was to get them all by hand. I said it seemed I missed one or two but he was acting like I just…left the whole mess I spilled on the floor? I was trying to say I spilled a whole bag, I was sorry I missed the one.

Actually the scariest part was before he said “we’re done,” he was yelling and saying “will you do it again? Say whether or not you’ll do it again. If you do it again, what should your punishment be?” etc.

[Anonymous]

I don’t even talk that way to people I legit hate. Like coworkers and such.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having to justify not picking things up? Sounds more than a little controlling. Wonder what attracted you to this guy n the first place. Sounds like an over- bearing person, instead of a true partner.

Op I think he was mad because he thought I was making excuses. And all I was trying to say was, listen, I knocked over an entire bag. Barring waking him up to find the vacuum and then run the vacuum, my best bet was to get them all by hand. I said it seemed I missed one or two but he was acting like I just…left the whole mess I spilled on the floor? I was trying to say I spilled a whole bag, I was sorry I missed the one.

Actually the scariest part was before he said “we’re done,” he was yelling and saying “will you do it again? Say whether or not you’ll do it again. If you do it again, what should your punishment be?” etc.

You are a 29yo woman…last I checked you haven’t been eligible for “punishments” in well over a decade.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry. He might be a horrible person who hid it fairly well until that night. He might be going through something that caused him to behave this way and he'll come to regret it. He might be just a coward who doesn't know how to break up with someone. You'll probably never know, and it doesn't really matter. It's over and you cannot ever consider getting back together with someone who would treat you in this manner, deliberately or not.
You'll be okay in time. I'm more concerned about the woman who's going to go through this with him when she's older or has already had his children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I was supposed to go out for dinner with his family tonight to celebrate my birthday and one of his family member’s birthdays. His mom just texted to say she was sorry I couldn’t join “this year.” I think he probably hasn’t yet told his mom we broke up because she’s know it was done on my birthday.

Tell her what he said to you. You owe him nothing. Let his family see him for the horrible person he is. And maybe they can get him the mental health he clearly needs.

Op I went over to my parents’ right before this happened and my mom is like, don’t respond. Stay out of any drama.

Your mother is wise. And a far classier woman than I am, because I would be responding “Hi Jane, actually Steve and I aren’t together anymore because he told me he hated me last night.”

+1 Of course your mom is correct. I'm glad you have some support, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having to justify not picking things up? Sounds more than a little controlling. Wonder what attracted you to this guy n the first place. Sounds like an over- bearing person, instead of a true partner.

Op I think he was mad because he thought I was making excuses. And all I was trying to say was, listen, I knocked over an entire bag. Barring waking him up to find the vacuum and then run the vacuum, my best bet was to get them all by hand. I said it seemed I missed one or two but he was acting like I just…left the whole mess I spilled on the floor? I was trying to say I spilled a whole bag, I was sorry I missed the one.

Actually the scariest part was before he said “we’re done,” he was yelling and saying “will you do it again? Say whether or not you’ll do it again. If you do it again, what should your punishment be?” etc.

Holy shit, he is CRAZY. Please block him, and do not engage when he tries to apologize. DO NOT EVEN READ HIS TEXTS. DO NOT TALK TO HIM. He is an abusive a-hole. You are lucky. Go find yourself a therapist to help you get over him and next year, find yourself a great guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having to justify not picking things up? Sounds more than a little controlling. Wonder what attracted you to this guy n the first place. Sounds like an over- bearing person, instead of a true partner.

Op I think he was mad because he thought I was making excuses. And all I was trying to say was, listen, I knocked over an entire bag. Barring waking him up to find the vacuum and then run the vacuum, my best bet was to get them all by hand. I said it seemed I missed one or two but he was acting like I just…left the whole mess I spilled on the floor? I was trying to say I spilled a whole bag, I was sorry I missed the one.

Actually the scariest part was before he said “we’re done,” he was yelling and saying “will you do it again? Say whether or not you’ll do it again. If you do it again, what should your punishment be?” etc.

That’s really, really messed up. Do not go near this guy ever again. Cut him off completely.

[Anonymous]

OP, I broke up with a woman moons ago and to this day, she has no idea why. But it was her mother. There was no way I could be married to this woman and have the mother in my life for the next 40 years. There was no way I could explain it to the girlfriend, so I just made up other excuses.

I am not saying this is at all parallel, but sometimes things happen and there is no easy way out.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read any of the responses. OP, he is either completely crazy, or a calculated abuser.

Your biggest worry now is that he might try to "win you back". Don't fall for it.

When you fall for it, remember this post the next time he hurts you. He is doing it on purpose because he is a sicko. Leave him and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read any of the responses. OP, he is either completely crazy, or a calculated abuser.

Your biggest worry now is that he might try to "win you back". Don't fall for it.

When you fall for it, remember this post the next time he hurts you. He is doing it on purpose because he is a sicko. Leave him and move on.

Well, we already know the OP is an unreliable narrator, so we don’t really know anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I broke up with a woman moons ago and to this day, she has no idea why. But it was her mother. There was no way I could be married to this woman and have the mother in my life for the next 40 years. There was no way I could explain it to the girlfriend, so I just made up other excuses.

I am not saying this is at all parallel, but sometimes things happen and there is no easy way out.

That’s actually fair, but we’re not talking about him making excuses. Did you read the shit he said to her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I was supposed to go out for dinner with his family tonight to celebrate my birthday and one of his family member’s birthdays. His mom just texted to say she was sorry I couldn’t join “this year.” I think he probably hasn’t yet told his mom we broke up because she’s know it was done on my birthday.

Tell her what he said to you. You owe him nothing. Let his family see him for the horrible person he is. And maybe they can get him the mental health he clearly needs.

Op I went over to my parents’ right before this happened and my mom is like, don’t respond. Stay out of any drama.

Your mother is wise. And a far classier woman than I am, because I would be responding “Hi Jane, actually Steve and I aren’t together anymore because he told me he hated me last night.”

+1 Of course your mom is correct. I'm glad you have some support, OP.

Op I actually really love his mom a lot. I will miss her and his dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read any of the responses. OP, he is either completely crazy, or a calculated abuser.

Your biggest worry now is that he might try to "win you back". Don't fall for it.

When you fall for it, remember this post the next time he hurts you. He is doing it on purpose because he is a sicko. Leave him and move on.

Op well, one, he said he hates me so I don’t think he’ll be trying to win me back.

Two, I don’t think he is a sicko! There were certainly things he did I found rude or annoying prior to the breakup but I never once felt verbally abused like that.

[Anonymous]

I do agree calling him a sicko and abuser seems harsh. However - big however - honey. You have to know that is not an okay way for a man to ever talk to you. Ever. I know you love him, I know you think you have flaws and caused all this, but as someone else said: There are couples where the wife cheats on the dh and he calmly just tells her to pack her shit and get a hotel room. You spilled potato chips?! My god. I get being annoyed esp. because you said upthread you’re pretty messy but this is such an overreaction to spilled chips!