Cruel Break-Up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having to justify not picking things up? Sounds more than a little controlling. Wonder what attracted you to this guy n the first place. Sounds like an over- bearing person, instead of a true partner.

Actually the thing that gets me is she DID pick up things, she just did it imperfectly.

[Anonymous]

I have nothing to add here. Everyone already said what I wanted to say, which is that this was nasty and mean and awful. I'm so sorry you're hurting. But you're 29 and presumably live in DC, so I'm sure you're very ambitious and smart and pretty. You'll be okay in the long run, if not better.

[Anonymous]

🤷‍♂️ Would have been better if he’d ghosted you, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:🤷‍♂️ Would have been better if he’d ghosted you, I guess.

Since you used the man emoji I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume you're a man, and one who probably doesn't know how to break up with someone respectfully either.

No. Ghosting is also bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women when they break up say nice things. Men when they break up burn the bridges. He did you a favor by leaving. I’m sorry but he sounds awful.

I've only had one (of six) boyfriends break up with me, and he did it kindly, in a restaurant, said he was sorry, that he would give me space and that he'd be there as a friend if I was ever up for it. Then he drove me home and we hugged goodbye.

That's what you should EXPECT, OP. Your ex is cruel and you need to move on. Don't make excuses for him, don't own HIS issues.

This is a numbers game. 6 is nothing, you're virginal. I've dated 100s of men. Yes, a statistically significant portion of them burn bridges when breaking up. Men were raised to win arguments, that's where this comes from. That and some idiotic dolt BoY MoM telling him how wonderful and special he is all the time.

Is this a thing lol. Boy Moms raising their brood of boys to think they can never do any wrong?

No, it isn't. However, it is a thing to find a woman to blame for everything. Oh, guy is an ass, must be his mother's fault. Nevermind that he is a grown up ass, it is definitely all on his mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women when they break up say nice things. Men when they break up burn the bridges. He did you a favor by leaving. I’m sorry but he sounds awful.

I've only had one (of six) boyfriends break up with me, and he did it kindly, in a restaurant, said he was sorry, that he would give me space and that he'd be there as a friend if I was ever up for it. Then he drove me home and we hugged goodbye.

That's what you should EXPECT, OP. Your ex is cruel and you need to move on. Don't make excuses for him, don't own HIS issues.

This is a numbers game. 6 is nothing, you're virginal. I've dated 100s of men. Yes, a statistically significant portion of them burn bridges when breaking up. Men were raised to win arguments, that's where this comes from. That and some idiotic dolt BoY MoM telling him how wonderful and special he is all the time.

Is this a thing lol. Boy Moms raising their brood of boys to think they can never do any wrong?

No, it isn't. However, it is a thing to find a woman to blame for everything. Oh, guy is an ass, must be his mother's fault. Nevermind that he is a grown up ass, it is definitely all on his mother.

Op said she liked his mother too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women when they break up say nice things. Men when they break up burn the bridges. He did you a favor by leaving. I’m sorry but he sounds awful.

I've only had one (of six) boyfriends break up with me, and he did it kindly, in a restaurant, said he was sorry, that he would give me space and that he'd be there as a friend if I was ever up for it. Then he drove me home and we hugged goodbye.

That's what you should EXPECT, OP. Your ex is cruel and you need to move on. Don't make excuses for him, don't own HIS issues.

This is a numbers game. 6 is nothing, you're virginal. I've dated 100s of men. Yes, a statistically significant portion of them burn bridges when breaking up. Men were raised to win arguments, that's where this comes from. That and some idiotic dolt BoY MoM telling him how wonderful and special he is all the time.

Is this a thing lol. Boy Moms raising their brood of boys to think they can never do any wrong?

No, it isn't. However, it is a thing to find a woman to blame for everything. Oh, guy is an ass, must be his mother's fault. Nevermind that he is a grown up ass, it is definitely all on his mother.

Op said she liked his mother too.

Yeah someone here just has a hatred for boy moms. If OP says his mom is great and we don't know for sure he's from an all-boy family, let's not leap to judgment. He is an a$$hole for doing this to her though.

[Anonymous]

See, this is the best of DCUM. Sometimes, someone says something nasty. Other times, we rally around a young woman who needs emotional support.

[Anonymous]

OP it sounds like he went scorched earth with his over the top comments because something triggered him. Maybe he already felt that he put himself out by entertaining you for your birthday (you “owe him” for doing that favor), then something in the conversation on the way home made him feel disrespected or some other way that triggered a rage response.

So now you know - this is who/what he is. A rager. He might apologize; if you were to get back together with him, it might improve temporarily. But a rager fundamentally is who he is. Do you want children OP? If yes, it’s even more of a reason to stay far away from a rager. You can love them from a distance, but a rager will never be good for you or for children. Consider his strong burning of the bridge with you a blessing in disguise.

[Anonymous]

I don’t have anything to say other than “holy shit” which is what I said after reading your original post.

[Anonymous]

I'm sad for you because you're hurting but happy for you because this guy just spared you from a divorce (albeit in the worst way possible)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:See, this is the best of DCUM. Sometimes, someone says something nasty. Other times, we rally around a young woman who needs emotional support.

Give us all the break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sad for you because you're hurting but happy for you because this guy just spared you from a divorce (albeit in the worst way possible)

I'll refrain from assuming this guy would be an abusive parent, because even people who are terrible to others can be loving parents, but I will say this: He would be an effing nightmare in divorce court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sad for you because you're hurting but happy for you because this guy just spared you from a divorce (albeit in the worst way possible)

I'll refrain from assuming this guy would be an abusive parent, because even people who are terrible to others can be loving parents, but I will say this: He would be an effing nightmare in divorce court.

"Do not marry anyone you would not want to be divorced for ." -Nora Ephron

[Anonymous]

he cheats and this type of breakup was needed for him to hide the fact (eg cut off all ties and move on)