Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is how you end up with kids that rebel like crazy the second they taste freedom.

If they survive being humiliated by peers daily and being a social outcast. Isn't this how shcool shooters are created? Why would any parent intentionally set their kid up to be out of place and awkward? Limits sure, and age appropriate supervision, but intentionally creating a social outcast is extreme.

[Anonymous]

I agree completely banking it in high school may not be the best choice and really difficult. But, if not a ban, then what? How dp you keep kids off of screens 24/7 then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like the restriction your friend has is to the Internet in general… that’s not realistic.

I do think it’s possible for teens not to have social media accounts.

Depends on what you mean by social media. They can live without tik tok, instagram, twitter, facebook, snapchat, etc.; but teens communicate via group chat media, like discord, etc. and collaborate on schoolwork via google platforms and what not, and of course YouTube has become an essential for tutoring and school etc. They don't call each other on the phone, don't use email unless forced to by college admissions, and texting happens but generally is too limiting to them. So if by no access to social media this mom means cutting her child off from every means of communication their peers use today other than face to face encounters, then I'd say that's a bad idea and not likely possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree completely banking it in high school may not be the best choice and really difficult. But, if not a ban, then what? How dp you keep kids off of screens 24/7 then?

Most kids are not on screens 24/7. Most kids go to school for the majority of the day, sleep the majority of the night, are involved in extracurricular activities after that, and have homework and jobs. In our experience, that leaves not a lot of time for social screen time. Just enough to keep up with friends, know where the meet up is, and have a social life, whether in person or on line together if no one can go out.

If your teen has too much screen time, then your kid just has too much time. Send them out to play if they are tweens, tell them to get a job if they are over 15. A complete ban should not be necessary unless advised so by a doctor for a teen with a developmental disability. If you don't want them on screens, fill the time with something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only if she prevents them from seeing friends and home schools and has no expectation for them to get a job through normal channels.

Could you do it? Sure. But why would you want to hobble your child like that? I get that she thinks it is a good thing to do and that all media is bad, and when the issue causes conflict in her life, she will blame social media, but that problem is actually that she is intentionally hobbling her child's social literacy and social life, as well as many academic expectations.

Decades ago, I had a friend whose parent never had a TV and never let them watch. It was pretty surprising the simple problems this caused in school and social life. It really harmed the child emotionally. The kid didn't catch quips, memes, EQ references, analogies in class, and bombed any essay that had a modern social reference that one would have known from just an average kids' life.

Decades ago (mid 90s) when I was in high school, my AP Spanish class had a weekly assignment that we were supposed to watch at least half an hour of television in Spanish, and then write a short report on what we watched. I wonder what your friend (or her parents) would have done in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. My rising senior has zero interest in instagram, tik tok, etc., but he love to watch TedEd videos on YouTube and uses discord for school clubs. So, even for a kid who isn't interested in social media in the usual sense, he uses social media daily. For a kid who is at least somewhat social, it would be impossible. I should add that having a cellphone is expected in high school, not just by peers but by teachers who assign group projects or use Kahoot in class.

My rising senior son is exact same and I agree with all of this.

[Anonymous]

We had a no YouTube "rule" and found out our child was able to access it at school (we had not told him he could not use it -- we just blocked it and never mentioned it, this was when he was in elementary school). So I guess it's possible to enforce at home but impossible to shield them from it if they are out in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is how you end up with kids that rebel like crazy the second they taste freedom.

If they survive being humiliated by peers daily and being a social outcast. Isn't this how shcool shooters are created? Why would any parent intentionally set their kid up to be out of place and awkward? Limits sure, and age appropriate supervision, but intentionally creating a social outcast is extreme.

Maybe parents should be raising their kids not to humiliate and ostracize a peer who isn't on Instagram. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not Amish (or any other religion outside the mainstream), not homeschooled. Regular kids in mainstream school.

By no access I assume you mean no account? Sure if they didn't create one.

But all social media platforms are available on the internet with no need for the app. I watch plenty of tik toks but don't have a tik tok account for example.

I know parents who fooled themselves for years believing their kids didn't have social media accounts and bragged about it. They wanted to live in denial so who was I to burst their bubble.

OP here. I tried to explain this to her - I didn’t know either at first but my kids fessed up. She just got more adamant saying “nope not my kids!” They got to a normal Catholic school. I just think she has no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not Amish (or any other religion outside the mainstream), not homeschooled. Regular kids in mainstream school.

By no access I assume you mean no account? Sure if they didn't create one.

But all social media platforms are available on the internet with no need for the app. I watch plenty of tik toks but don't have a tik tok account for example.

I know parents who fooled themselves for years believing their kids didn't have social media accounts and bragged about it. They wanted to live in denial so who was I to burst their bubble.

OP here. I tried to explain this to her - I didn’t know either at first but my kids fessed up. She just got more adamant saying “nope not my kids!” They got to a normal Catholic school. I just think she has no idea.

My kids are upper-elementary at a catholic school and I think our kids spend less time on the internet/social media than their public school peers because a lot of parents have similar feelings about it. But I don’t think it’s realistic to think you can have a complete ban on it through high school. I suspect she simply doesn’t know what’s coming because she’s currently in a bit of a bubble with them.

We lean towards being luddites in my house, but I expect to get my kids phones in high school. They have FB messenger right now through my phone, so I can see the communications and monitor them. My dd plays Roblox but we talk about not chatting with strangers and only communicating with people she knows in real life.

[Anonymous]

No because even teachers have them watch youtube videos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not Amish (or any other religion outside the mainstream), not homeschooled. Regular kids in mainstream school.

By no access I assume you mean no account? Sure if they didn't create one.

But all social media platforms are available on the internet with no need for the app. I watch plenty of tik toks but don't have a tik tok account for example.

I know parents who fooled themselves for years believing their kids didn't have social media accounts and bragged about it. They wanted to live in denial so who was I to burst their bubble.

OP here. I tried to explain this to her - I didn’t know either at first but my kids fessed up. She just got more adamant saying “nope not my kids!” They got to a normal Catholic school. I just think she has no idea.

Ity be best for her kids if you don't mention it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is how you end up with kids that rebel like crazy the second they taste freedom.

If they survive being humiliated by peers daily and being a social outcast. Isn't this how shcool shooters are created? Why would any parent intentionally set their kid up to be out of place and awkward? Limits sure, and age appropriate supervision, but intentionally creating a social outcast is extreme.

Maybe parents should be raising their kids not to humiliate and ostracize a peer who isn't on Instagram. Yikes.

This. If you see what the cool kids are doing on TikTok, they are humiliating themselves and will be lucky if any kids they bullied don't download some of it and save it to retaliate. Parents really should be more on top of it. Things reported to our school include:

Girls mouthing the words to songs about things like enjoying sucking a big D

White preppy boys mouthing the words to songs about Ns as they pretend their are cool rappers

Girls petting themselves as they wear crop tops without bras and gyrate around to a song and then end with a booty shake

Boys filming less popular boys without their consent in private areas like the bathroom

Fights galore

[Anonymous]

I think the issue is that most parents are on social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is how you end up with kids that rebel like crazy the second they taste freedom.

If they survive being humiliated by peers daily and being a social outcast. Isn't this how shcool shooters are created? Why would any parent intentionally set their kid up to be out of place and awkward? Limits sure, and age appropriate supervision, but intentionally creating a social outcast is extreme.

Maybe parents should be raising their kids not to humiliate and ostracize a peer who isn't on Instagram. Yikes.

This is right up there with “teach boys not to rape girls.”

As if it were that easy.