Would it be possible for a teen to have no access to any social media until college?

[Anonymous]

If you homeschool in a rural area, sure OP.

[Anonymous]

You get rid of all of your own internet use - including tv, devices and social media sites, and sure it's easy - at home at least.

[Anonymous]

Honest question. What will these kids talk to other kids about?

Yes social media can be bad and you need to regulate and watch. But a lot of it is good, funny, creative and makes kids more social. Yes, I said it.

[Anonymous]

We can gonna to 1995

[Anonymous]

It's possible, I suppose. But your kid would have a hard time fitting in with other kids and would probably be a bit of a weirdo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question. What will these kids talk to other kids about?

Yes social media can be bad and you need to regulate and watch. But a lot of it is good, funny, creative and makes kids more social. Yes, I said it.

14 Talks By Age 14 is a thought provoking book, and it definitely takes on the modern idea that all social media is bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My 17 year old has always been introverted, and he has no interested in communicating with others on social media. He has no presence anywhere and no accounts. He does get plenty of screentime, at school and for fun at home! He reads other people's comments in response to videos or games he participates in. But he has no handles of his own, and that's a choice, not anked him to do.

DS is 20, HFA, and in college. Apparently his suitemates tried to find him on social media when they were all assigned last summer and he was nowhere to be found. No interest, though he has had a cell phone for some years and texts his parents and sister on it sometimes. He does adore YouTube though and I think he sometimes comments and I'm sure he reads the comments. So I guess he's close, but even he does YouTube. I think he's done something with Discord for classes too. He's in CS so that would make some sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have two families that we are friends with and their kids are not allowed to have cell phones until they are old enough to drive and no social media until 18. They have very large families and let me tell you, these kids are the most sociable happy humble kids. Not a lot of insecurities either. These families keep their word too. A few of their kids are over 16 and 18. It's refreshing, I am not going to lie.

Many Amish families have no cell phones. It can be done. But sadly parents in America want their kids to have phones because they are anxious idiots and think they "need" them.

Those kids may not have cell phones but guarantee they have access to social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Rare near consensus on DCUM. This is my friend’s children. They are mid-upper elementary and she is ADAMANT. Mine are slightly older (MS.) She’s not trying to delay until HS or restrict Instagram/TikTok. She is saying absolutely nothing until they leave for college, no exceptions. Will be interesting to see.

LOL. Every elementary mom is a leading expert on high school device use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine don’t use social media. They use educational resources and apps but never social media. It’s not necessary and works quite well for us. I don’t judge people that use it though. I know many families that don’t and some that do.

We’re not talking about solely social media, it also includes YouTube and other internet access and no, that is not going to happen until they’re 18.

P.S, We offered our highly social kid with lots of friends access to having their own social media account when they turned 15. They were like “meh, thanks but no thanks.” None of their friends really care about having an IG, TikTok, etc.

[Anonymous]

This is how you end up with kids that rebel like crazy the second they taste freedom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your friend is gonna have a bad time when her kids are teens.

And when she reads about the OP venting about her on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. My rising senior has zero interest in instagram, tik tok, etc., but he love to watch TedEd videos on YouTube and uses discord for school clubs. So, even for a kid who isn't interested in social media in the usual sense, he uses social media daily. For a kid who is at least somewhat social, it would be impossible. I should add that having a cellphone is expected in high school, not just by peers but by teachers who assign group projects or use Kahoot in class.

+1 to this explanation above. YouTube is practically just another TV service now; whole shows appear only on YouTube, as well as things like the videos PP mentions. And some organizations require members to do things like join a Discord server or a Facebook group to get any information or schedules etc. And phones are now essential, especially for high schoolers, to use IN class.

I will add though that not all teens or young adults are interested in what I think of as "social media" -- Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, etc. etc. My DD is a rising senior in college -- you read that right, college, not high school -- and has zero accounts on any of those or any other social media along those lines. She does have a Facebook account because her college required one for certain activities but she says she uses some generic landscape photo as the profile picture and posts nothing, but only goes on to read the information she needs (eh, Facebook's pretty old fasihioned now anyway....) DD says most of her closest friends are not on those kinds of social media either. They have certain apps, use things like Venmo etc., but do not want to put themselves out there tweeting, posting Instagram stories, doing silly TikTok videos etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not Amish (or any other religion outside the mainstream), not homeschooled. Regular kids in mainstream school.

By no access I assume you mean no account? Sure if they didn't create one.

But all social media platforms are available on the internet with no need for the app. I watch plenty of tik toks but don't have a tik tok account for example.

I know parents who fooled themselves for years believing their kids didn't have social media accounts and bragged about it. They wanted to live in denial so who was I to burst their bubble.

[Anonymous]

Only if she prevents them from seeing friends and home schools and has no expectation for them to get a job through normal channels.

Could you do it? Sure. But why would you want to hobble your child like that? I get that she thinks it is a good thing to do and that all media is bad, and when the issue causes conflict in her life, she will blame social media, but that problem is actually that she is intentionally hobbling her child's social literacy and social life, as well as many academic expectations.

Decades ago, I had a friend whose parent never had a TV and never let them watch. It was pretty surprising the simple problems this caused in school and social life. It really harmed the child emotionally. The kid didn't catch quips, memes, EQ references, analogies in class, and bombed any essay that had a modern social reference that one would have known from just an average kids' life.