Am I expecting too much of nanny?

[Anonymous]

Buy a water table and a sand box. Help her out with filling these hot summer days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would sit down with her and discuss educational milestones and her pedagogical method. You could ask to see her lesson plans or goals for a month at a time. Explain exactly what you want. Even stroller rides outside should be engaging. Discuss her calling out the colors in English and Spanish/ French. She can easily learn those even if she doesn’t speak the language. They should also be counting on walks (cars, birds, etc.).


If she had a degree in ECE, this should all be easy.

Don’t do this OP. The idea of writing lesson plans for one child is absurd and will be a red flag to her.

I agree with the PP who suggests that she is still getting to know you/your child/routines. Take the suggestion to purchase some new things and see what she does with it. 20 months is young for crafts but sensory experiences and reading/singing should be a natural part of their day. Maybe there is a music or movement class she can attend with them?
Overall, she sounds like a gem!
—an ECE teacher of over 20 years

NP- I think that PP's comment might be a joke? Seriously? Educational milestones and her pedagogical method? Lesson plans? Hahaha This is a 20 month old!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the best.

Your way is too much “engagement” - the kid is never curious because he knows someone will point out what he should notice. No love of learning, just circus tricks and anxiety.

This IS what your kid needs.

+1
I noticed that kids who had everything handed to them and pointed out struggled in preschool bc they didn’t actually have any intuition skills or as much curiosity or resilience. They’re also kind of waiting for the next thing and not impressed with things. Your nanny is teaching him actual skills in a much more age appropriate way vs just ticking boxes

[Anonymous]

I’m going to disagree with everyone here. My three children are older now, but I remember hating to see them with the nanny because, although nanny was sweet and attentive, she would never do that kind of things you’re talking about OP. All of the PPs can talk about how great it is for children to learn on their own, but the reality is that humans are social creatures, we learn an incredible amount from engagement with other people, esp important lessons about connection with other human beings. It’s natural for most mothers to sit and talk with and play with and engage with their babies because we are highly motivated for them to learn and grow. The reality is that a nanny just does not care as much, in most cases. It’s exhausting to engage with a child all day, it takes so much out of you, but moms do it all the time. And dads sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to disagree with everyone here. My three children are older now, but I remember hating to see them with the nanny because, although nanny was sweet and attentive, she would never do that kind of things you’re talking about OP. All of the PPs can talk about how great it is for children to learn on their own, but the reality is that humans are social creatures, we learn an incredible amount from engagement with other people, esp important lessons about connection with other human beings. It’s natural for most mothers to sit and talk with and play with and engage with their babies because we are highly motivated for them to learn and grow. The reality is that a nanny just does not care as much, in most cases. It’s exhausting to engage with a child all day, it takes so much out of you, but moms do it all the time. And dads sometimes.

Pp again. OP I will add that I do not think you can get a better nanny than what you have, as far as nannies go she sounds like a pretty good one overall. It is very difficult to find a nanny who is truly invested in your child the way you would be. If this bothers you, then quit your job. But in the grand scheme of things I think you can give your child the stimulation, engagement and reading in the time that you have with him or her.

[Anonymous]

Then you take care of your kid?

Nanny does a great job. And always keeps safety first. I hope your nanny quits and finds a better family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Then you take care of your kid?

Nanny does a great job. And always keeps safety first. I hope your nanny quits and finds a better family

Same. I dont even understand this post. What s the problem? Working there must be a nightmare for the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to disagree with everyone here. My three children are older now, but I remember hating to see them with the nanny because, although nanny was sweet and attentive, she would never do that kind of things you’re talking about OP. All of the PPs can talk about how great it is for children to learn on their own, but the reality is that humans are social creatures, we learn an incredible amount from engagement with other people, esp important lessons about connection with other human beings. It’s natural for most mothers to sit and talk with and play with and engage with their babies because we are highly motivated for them to learn and grow. The reality is that a nanny just does not care as much, in most cases. It’s exhausting to engage with a child all day, it takes so much out of you, but moms do it all the time. And dads sometimes.

The nanny does engage. She's narrating what the child is doing, teaching in a child-led way, allowing the child's curiosity and drive to be the force of learning, not stifling the child's curiosity. This is a child who will be able to entertain themselves and learn on their own later.

[Anonymous]

Free play is better than organized activities for young kids. This nanny sounds great.

[Anonymous]

If you want her to do crafts, why not buy some age appropriate stuff from Amazon. Sensory play should be age appropriate. Heck, get some old bins and fill them with different items (cotton balls, etc.) that are safe/age appropriate and show them to your nanny. Buy some finger paint. Put some sponges in a bin with water. Buy a water table. Etc. But agree that this is a bit extra and nanny sounds nice.

[Anonymous]

Don't get what parents want, a caregiver or a teacher, caregiver, nonstop playmate or more like a second mother. Ridiculous is what i say for all your expectations,
And no one can play with a child nonstop for 8 hours, kids do need time on their own to use their imagination, create their own games plays etc, once they are older they have no idea how to entertain themselves if an adult is not playing with them. Be realistic and do your kids a favor also by not being so overbearing.
Your child is a baby and you have ridiculous expectations, i wonder when they get older what you would expect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to disagree with everyone here. My three children are older now, but I remember hating to see them with the nanny because, although nanny was sweet and attentive, she would never do that kind of things you’re talking about OP. All of the PPs can talk about how great it is for children to learn on their own, but the reality is that humans are social creatures, we learn an incredible amount from engagement with other people, esp important lessons about connection with other human beings. It’s natural for most mothers to sit and talk with and play with and engage with their babies because we are highly motivated for them to learn and grow. The reality is that a nanny just does not care as much, in most cases. It’s exhausting to engage with a child all day, it takes so much out of you, but moms do it all the time. And dads sometimes.

I am not a nanny and I disagree. I was SAH untill my children were all in fourth grade. I was also taking care of a house with all the attendant cares and duties and I definitely did not engage with any of them all day long and
I knew other SAH moms and they did not engage with children all day. Nothing else would have gotten done if I had done this.

On the other hand, a nanny can do this because she is not cooking, cleaning, etc.

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