Am I expecting too much of nanny?

[Anonymous]

OP is one of those people who struggles with tests despite being intelligent and spending a lot of time studying because she is too worried about make work to actually learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are expecting the wrong things of her. She is already providing what is developmentally best for him.

You are seeking developmentally inappropriate parent pleaser activities that daycares detest providing to the younger children, but do so to make parents happy and bring in the $$.

This, and as a parent, I used to hate it when they did it. My kid was in PT daycare at this age and when I'd pick her up they'd hand me her "craft" for the day. It would be like a hand print with some leaves glued on to make it look like a tree, and her name written on it by the teacher. And I'd immediately envision the daycare teachers lining up the kids and one by one, taking their hands, dipping it in the paint, and applying it to the paper (you KNOW the kids didn't do this activity in a free and independent way because they'd come home covered in paint with a piece of paper smeared in paint and no discernible hand print). I didn't even believe my kid glued the leaves on. I wouldn't care if she did!

Now, I actually did have a kid who was extremely interested in arts and crafts and loved to color and play with sensory toys. But I'd just give her some crayons and paper, or a big bin of beads and blocks, and let her have at it. These were things she gravitated to and therefore we encouraged. Other kids don't care for this stuff and want to run around and be physical. Other kids are really into imaginative play. If you let the kids choose what they want and follow their lead, they will get what they need. Which is what it sounds like this nanny is doing.

OP, you can always buy more art supplies (age appropriate and easily accessible to your kid, not elaborate supplies that require intense supervision and involvement) and sensory toys and put them in his play space. If he is interested in them, he will get them out. You can even point them out to the nanny and she can offer them to your son. But he may not be interested, which is fine. Don't ask your nanny to do things to please you when she is already providing everything she needs to for your son.

Yep-at that age all those crafts are actually made by the teachers, and for the most part the children are unhappy while doing them because they are either forced to do them (gently, of course) or not allowed to do them the way they want to do them.

Even better is when a parent complains that they didn't get one, because the child was unwilling. So next time the age old trick of gently hanging them upside down by their ankles to get the hand print is used. Child will then naturally open hand to get the print done.

[Anonymous]

Your nanny sounds more experienced with what kids need than you are! And that’s ok because she is! Just don’t make the mistake of not appreciating it.

[Anonymous]

Honestly OP, she sounds like she is worth her weight in pure gold.

Appreciate all the wonderful ways that she cares for your son vs. the little things she does not do.

Many families would love a Nanny who matches your description!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she isn't on her phone, consider that the most amazing nanny ever. You won't find another one like that

+1.

She isn’t on her phone and is playing with your child. She is on time so you can get to work on time. She prepares meals. She leaves the house clean.

She sounds amazing.

[Anonymous]

How much do you pay her? Unless like $40 or $50 an hour yiu are asking a lot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We hired a nanny with excellent references, a degree in early childhood education and who we loved during the interview. She has been with us two months now and while she is obviously extremely hardworking, dedicated and engaged, the quality of her engagement isn’t what I expected it to be. Given her ECE degree, I thought she would be planning crafts and activities, sensory play and all kinds of other enriching play for him, almost like a preschool teacher would (kid is 20 months). Those are the things I did with him during my 18 month sabbatical from work when I was with him full time.

She does get on the floor and play with him, but it mostly consists of just observing and commenting on what he does. She also takes him on long walks in the stroller where he’s just sitting there looking (as opposed to being active outside, although they do that too, just less- it’s probably just easier to have him in the stroller vs chasing after him in a playground)

To her credit, she is almost never on her phone while he is awake, cooks amazing meals for him and cleans up after, is outside with him a lot and is very fond of him and loving. She sings and reads to him although not as often as I did.

Am I just expecting too much of a nanny? I read so often here about these incredible teacher Nannies and wanted the same for my kid. Can I do better or is this as good as it gets?

OMG. Back to F off or you will lose her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds great but you can certainly encourage new ideas for activities. Maybe buy some new items for arts and crafts or sensory bins and let her put them together and play with him. Tell her about this great new park or museum he might love. Buy some new books and things for a reading nook and let her help put it together. Give her a budget and ask her to pick out some items on Lakeshore that would encourage new skills specific to what you would like him to learn. She’s still getting to know the routine and your family, sounds like she is doing great so far and you just need to communicate better about additional things you would like. If it doesn’t get better by suggesting or encouraging activities then you can sit down and be more specific about what you want. If she still doesn’t listen then I’d look elsewhere but it sounds like she just needs some direction.

Dollars to doughnuts if OP takes your advise, nanny El be gone within a month. The kid is not even two!

Exactly. That PP Who wrote that long screed forgot the /s at the end (for sarcasm).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she isn't on her phone, consider that the most amazing nanny ever. You won't find another one like that

+1.

She isn’t on her phone and is playing with your child. She is on time so you can get to work on time. She prepares meals. She leaves the house clean.

She sounds amazing.

These are great qualities, but a very low bar for someone to be considered “amazing”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you provided her with crafting materials?

Or outline your expectations?

[Anonymous]

You described a really wonderful nanny. Honestly getting a nanny who’s not on the phone all the time is huge. And she loves the kid and loves to be outside. He doesn’t need a bunch of sensory play or whatever else. He needs to be loved and well cared for.

[Anonymous]

Not a fan of loooong stroller rides. The time would be better spent running around a park

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she isn't on her phone, consider that the most amazing nanny ever. You won't find another one like that

+1.

She isn’t on her phone and is playing with your child. She is on time so you can get to work on time. She prepares meals. She leaves the house clean.

She sounds amazing.

These are great qualities, but a very low bar for someone to be considered “amazing”.

If I can get to work on time every day without ever needing to scramble for childcare, and I feel like my children are loved on and cared for, that’s amazing. If you have that and don’t appreciate it, you should.

[Anonymous]

OP,. You are not worthy of your nanny. You need to shut up and watch and listen to her because you know nothing. If you continue as you are then she will find a job where she isn't micromanaged.

[Anonymous]

OP, she doesn’t sound amazing, but she sounds good. And considering most nannies are terrible, you might just want to be happy with what you have. You’d an do sensory play with him during your time with him.