Am I expecting too much of nanny?

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine to suggest some activities like sensory bins or singing or play-doh -- buy some or show her the supplies. Do you have him in any classes? My sitter took my son to Little Gym and a local toddler music class and I felt like that helped give their day some structure and gave him some enrichment. She was a good sitter but not especially naturally exuberant or into those things, so it was easier to have someone else lead them.

In the end it's your kid and it's OK to want him to have more active time and more exploration time. I would be direct and talk about what you value, and see if she makes an effort. In the end you want a good fit, not just a good caregiver.

[Anonymous]

As a parent, playing with a 20 month old using sensory bins and craft supplies, or via outings to a museum or petting zoo is much more fun. I’d bump up those types of activities during your time with him and on the weekends, and let her do her thing during her hours, as it sounds like (your words) she is engaged, dedicated and hardworking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would sit down with her and discuss educational milestones and her pedagogical method. You could ask to see her lesson plans or goals for a month at a time. Explain exactly what you want. Even stroller rides outside should be engaging. Discuss her calling out the colors in English and Spanish/ French. She can easily learn those even if she doesn’t speak the language. They should also be counting on walks (cars, birds, etc.).


If she had a degree in ECE, this should all be easy.

Lesson plans? Stroller rides in French? For a 20 month old? I’m inclined to think this is a troll post because it’s so crazy.

[Anonymous]

Your nanny is giving you a gift by not getting on the floor and playing with your kid nonstop.

Our kids are old now, but our nanny (whom we had for 8 years) just sat and watched our kids and occasionally read to them. On the other hand, my friend’s nanny actively planned activities for every day and got on the floor and played with the kids.

Our kids could play by themselves. They pretend played for hours. They rarely pestered us on weekends for ideas for things to do or complained they were bored. We’d just tell them to “go play” and they’d run off and play dragon horse farm or whatever. My friend’s kids pestered her constantly on weekends and always wanted activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would sit down with her and discuss educational milestones and her pedagogical method. You could ask to see her lesson plans or goals for a month at a time. Explain exactly what you want. Even stroller rides outside should be engaging. Discuss her calling out the colors in English and Spanish/ French. She can easily learn those even if she doesn’t speak the language. They should also be counting on walks (cars, birds, etc.).


If she had a degree in ECE, this should all be easy.

Haha, we’ll played

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We hired a nanny with excellent references, a degree in early childhood education and who we loved during the interview. She has been with us two months now and while she is obviously extremely hardworking, dedicated and engaged, the quality of her engagement isn’t what I expected it to be. Given her ECE degree, I thought she would be planning crafts and activities, sensory play and all kinds of other enriching play for him, almost like a preschool teacher would (kid is 20 months). Those are the things I did with him during my 18 month sabbatical from work when I was with him full time.

She does get on the floor and play with him, but it mostly consists of just observing and commenting on what he does. She also takes him on long walks in the stroller where he’s just sitting there looking (as opposed to being active outside, although they do that too, just less- it’s probably just easier to have him in the stroller vs chasing after him in a playground)

To her credit, she is almost never on her phone while he is awake, cooks amazing meals for him and cleans up after, is outside with him a lot and is very fond of him and loving. She sings and reads to him although not as often as I did.

Am I just expecting too much of a nanny? I read so often here about these incredible teacher Nannies and wanted the same for my kid. Can I do better or is this as good as it gets?

Crafts with a 0-18 month old? GTFO. Put your kid in part time pre school once he hits 2, that will fill any "crafting" void left by the nanny.

[Anonymous]

She is using a well-respected type of play-centered technique with your child. Child-led, reflecting on what the child is doing, and reinforcing how your child is using play to learn and master their world. Parent driven and teacher driven play and craft agendas can interfere with your child’s ability to learn and master their environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is using a well-respected type of play-centered technique with your child. Child-led, reflecting on what the child is doing, and reinforcing how your child is using play to learn and master their world. Parent driven and teacher driven play and craft agendas can interfere with your child’s ability to learn and master their environment.

+1. You were too involved, OP. Your nanny is doing it right.

[Anonymous]

She sounds great and you are being crazy.

[Anonymous]

I will hire her the second she quits from you. And i will pay her more than you do, whatever that is.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you want a governess...are you paying for a governess?

[Anonymous]

You are expecting way too much- and this is coming from someone who professionally creates art & sensory kits for children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would sit down with her and discuss educational milestones and her pedagogical method. You could ask to see her lesson plans or goals for a month at a time. Explain exactly what you want. Even stroller rides outside should be engaging. Discuss her calling out the colors in English and Spanish/ French. She can easily learn those even if she doesn’t speak the language. They should also be counting on walks (cars, birds, etc.).


If she had a degree in ECE, this should all be easy.

That seems a little much, if you expect her to be a teacher too then she needs more compensation. No nanny is going to give you lesson plans, education degree or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds great but you can certainly encourage new ideas for activities. Maybe buy some new items for arts and crafts or sensory bins and let her put them together and play with him. Tell her about this great new park or museum he might love. Buy some new books and things for a reading nook and let her help put it together. Give her a budget and ask her to pick out some items on Lakeshore that would encourage new skills specific to what you would like him to learn. She’s still getting to know the routine and your family, sounds like she is doing great so far and you just need to communicate better about additional things you would like. If it doesn’t get better by suggesting or encouraging activities then you can sit down and be more specific about what you want. If she still doesn’t listen then I’d look elsewhere but it sounds like she just needs some direction.

Dollars to doughnuts if OP takes your advise, nanny El be gone within a month. The kid is not even two!

That’s the best age to teach children, do you think they should wait until kindergarten?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny is giving you a gift by not getting on the floor and playing with your kid nonstop.

Our kids are old now, but our nanny (whom we had for 8 years) just sat and watched our kids and occasionally read to them. On the other hand, my friend’s nanny actively planned activities for every day and got on the floor and played with the kids.

Our kids could play by themselves. They pretend played for hours. They rarely pestered us on weekends for ideas for things to do or complained they were bored. We’d just tell them to “go play” and they’d run off and play dragon horse farm or whatever. My friend’s kids pestered her constantly on weekends and always wanted activities.

It sounds like op wants more of a balance between these two and that’s good too