Am I expecting too much of nanny?

[Anonymous]

We hired a nanny with excellent references, a degree in early childhood education and who we loved during the interview. She has been with us two months now and while she is obviously extremely hardworking, dedicated and engaged, the quality of her engagement isn’t what I expected it to be. Given her ECE degree, I thought she would be planning crafts and activities, sensory play and all kinds of other enriching play for him, almost like a preschool teacher would (kid is 20 months). Those are the things I did with him during my 18 month sabbatical from work when I was with him full time.

She does get on the floor and play with him, but it mostly consists of just observing and commenting on what he does. She also takes him on long walks in the stroller where he’s just sitting there looking (as opposed to being active outside, although they do that too, just less- it’s probably just easier to have him in the stroller vs chasing after him in a playground)

To her credit, she is almost never on her phone while he is awake, cooks amazing meals for him and cleans up after, is outside with him a lot and is very fond of him and loving. She sings and reads to him although not as often as I did.

Am I just expecting too much of a nanny? I read so often here about these incredible teacher Nannies and wanted the same for my kid. Can I do better or is this as good as it gets?

[Anonymous]

She sounds pretty good

[Anonymous]

She sounds fantastic to me.

[Anonymous]

This is the best.

Your way is too much “engagement” - the kid is never curious because he knows someone will point out what he should notice. No love of learning, just circus tricks and anxiety.

This IS what your kid needs.

[Anonymous]

I bet the sensory and craft stuff will increase as he gets older. At 20 months she's giving him what he needs.

[Anonymous]

If she isn't on her phone, consider that the most amazing nanny ever. You won't find another one like that

[Anonymous]

She sounds great but you can certainly encourage new ideas for activities. Maybe buy some new items for arts and crafts or sensory bins and let her put them together and play with him. Tell her about this great new park or museum he might love. Buy some new books and things for a reading nook and let her help put it together. Give her a budget and ask her to pick out some items on Lakeshore that would encourage new skills specific to what you would like him to learn. She’s still getting to know the routine and your family, sounds like she is doing great so far and you just need to communicate better about additional things you would like. If it doesn’t get better by suggesting or encouraging activities then you can sit down and be more specific about what you want. If she still doesn’t listen then I’d look elsewhere but it sounds like she just needs some direction.

[Anonymous]

I would sit down with her and discuss educational milestones and her pedagogical method. You could ask to see her lesson plans or goals for a month at a time. Explain exactly what you want. Even stroller rides outside should be engaging. Discuss her calling out the colors in English and Spanish/ French. She can easily learn those even if she doesn’t speak the language. They should also be counting on walks (cars, birds, etc.).


If she had a degree in ECE, this should all be easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We hired a nanny with excellent references, a degree in early childhood education and who we loved during the interview. She has been with us two months now and while she is obviously extremely hardworking, dedicated and engaged, the quality of her engagement isn’t what I expected it to be. Given her ECE degree, I thought she would be planning crafts and activities, sensory play and all kinds of other enriching play for him, almost like a preschool teacher would (kid is 20 months). Those are the things I did with him during my 18 month sabbatical from work when I was with him full time.

She does get on the floor and play with him, but it mostly consists of just observing and commenting on what he does. She also takes him on long walks in the stroller where he’s just sitting there looking (as opposed to being active outside, although they do that too, just less- it’s probably just easier to have him in the stroller vs chasing after him in a playground)

To her credit, she is almost never on her phone while he is awake, cooks amazing meals for him and cleans up after, is outside with him a lot and is very fond of him and loving. She sings and reads to him although not as often as I did.

Am I just expecting too much of a nanny? I read so often here about these incredible teacher Nannies and wanted the same for my kid. Can I do better or is this as good as it gets?

How much are you paying her? Seems to me she is doing an excellent job but maybe you should quit your job and stay home with your child. I have three children and not a sine one was into crafts àt that she. Do you want him to make Christmas decorations or color within lines at this age. You are nitpicking because you're jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sounds great but you can certainly encourage new ideas for activities. Maybe buy some new items for arts and crafts or sensory bins and let her put them together and play with him. Tell her about this great new park or museum he might love. Buy some new books and things for a reading nook and let her help put it together. Give her a budget and ask her to pick out some items on Lakeshore that would encourage new skills specific to what you would like him to learn. She’s still getting to know the routine and your family, sounds like she is doing great so far and you just need to communicate better about additional things you would like. If it doesn’t get better by suggesting or encouraging activities then you can sit down and be more specific about what you want. If she still doesn’t listen then I’d look elsewhere but it sounds like she just needs some direction.

Dollars to doughnuts if OP takes your advise, nanny El be gone within a month. The kid is not even two!

[Anonymous]

No 20 month old is in preschool. You’re expecting too much.

[Anonymous]

She sounds fantastic to me. Take a second to think about what you’re saying. She’s the one with work experience, references and degree in early childhood education and this is what she believes your child needs so why not trust her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would sit down with her and discuss educational milestones and her pedagogical method. You could ask to see her lesson plans or goals for a month at a time. Explain exactly what you want. Even stroller rides outside should be engaging. Discuss her calling out the colors in English and Spanish/ French. She can easily learn those even if she doesn’t speak the language. They should also be counting on walks (cars, birds, etc.).


If she had a degree in ECE, this should all be easy.

Don’t do this OP. The idea of writing lesson plans for one child is absurd and will be a red flag to her.

I agree with the PP who suggests that she is still getting to know you/your child/routines. Take the suggestion to purchase some new things and see what she does with it. 20 months is young for crafts but sensory experiences and reading/singing should be a natural part of their day. Maybe there is a music or movement class she can attend with them?
Overall, she sounds like a gem!
—an ECE teacher of over 20 years

[Anonymous]

Have you provided her with crafting materials?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would sit down with her and discuss educational milestones and her pedagogical method. You could ask to see her lesson plans or goals for a month at a time. Explain exactly what you want. Even stroller rides outside should be engaging. Discuss her calling out the colors in English and Spanish/ French. She can easily learn those even if she doesn’t speak the language. They should also be counting on walks (cars, birds, etc.).


If she had a degree in ECE, this should all be easy.

In Nanny Diaries, this talk was when we all laughed at MB.

- MB