So much disappointment this week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I don't understand is why apply to so many out of state $chools when there are plenty of terrific in-state options. My senior applied to only one out-of-state university, the rest were in state. Didn't get into the out of state school but got into a state flagship just fine.

I think families are applying out of state for bragging rights, and ending up with nothing.

If you live in DC, there are no in-state options. Everything is out of state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't understand is why apply to so many out of state $chools when there are plenty of terrific in-state options. My senior applied to only one out-of-state university, the rest were in state. Didn't get into the out of state school but got into a state flagship just fine.

I think families are applying out of state for bragging rights, and ending up with nothing.

If you live in DC, there are no in-state options. Everything is out of state.

UDC is an actual school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop fixating on the same 50 schools.

You can do everything “right” and not be accepted when there are tens of thousands applying for a few thousand spots at these big name schools. That’s just how it is at those schools. There will always be some disappointment at getting rejected, but if you go into the process knowing those schools have thousands of qualified applicants, you wouldn’t be shocked.

The disappointment is avoidable. Expand the horizons and don’t look at schools that will eagerly accept your kid as “lesser” institutions compared to the big names.

No one is shocked. It still sucks to go through it. Yes, the kids have likely schools, even scholarships to them, but face it-- that's no one's dream. They're going to have a moment of mourning their dreams.

My kid was actually very excited about her lowest ranked safety, and in the end chose it over 5 other schools. Her dream was getting a college education, not a attaining a certain number on the USNWR ranking. It is sad and twisted if you and your kid believe that that number allows them to cross over into some land or milk and honey. Consider fit, it is not a cliche. My child has had a fantastic experience.

My DC does absolutely love the lowest "ranked" school in the list and it is a great fit, especially socially. Doesn't mean there weren't dreams of CMU or Brown. It's normal, and it doesn't help to pretend they should not be be feeling what they actually are feeling. It's not about rank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would love to know stats and schools and finances.

My unhooked white ds with 1330/3.8 at a crappy public has gotten in everywhere. Top 30-50. Full pay.

Name the schools or it didn’t happen PP

NP and absolutely, this is my son too. Key words are DS and full pay. Many of these schools, even T50, need these most of all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't understand is why apply to so many out of state $chools when there are plenty of terrific in-state options. My senior applied to only one out-of-state university, the rest were in state. Didn't get into the out of state school but got into a state flagship just fine.

I think families are applying out of state for bragging rights, and ending up with nothing.

My high achiever kid didn’t get into the state flagship or the state tech school. You can’t assume those are options nowadays.

and I assume you mean UVA and VA Tech....perhaps the essays sucked and reflected no effort because those were the "safeties". I don't know certainly but I did hear the story on this board of a high stats kid who did get into both and spent alot of time on those PITA essays. I don't think high stats kids realize the importance of anything other than stats for the sake of stats.

Nope — they were not treated as safeties at all. But thanks for proving my point that DCUM needs to continue to manufacture reasons for admissions decisions that ignore the randomness of the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all these “high stat” kids, how many of you are also submitting 4’s or 5’s from
Your AP tests to show that you actually earned the A? Thay may be the difference in many cases. Lots and lots of public high schools are handing out A’s way too easily. And as for SAT scores, does anyone find it weird that 1400
And 1500 scores seem like a dime a dozen these days? The curve is unreal which is even making those seem less valuable. You have to show you earned those A’s so you need AP Scores and you need excellent teacher recommendations.

+1. For anybody reading this who has not had a kid go through the process, a "high stats" gpa--and gpa is very important--at a public in fcps or mcps is a 4.0 uw. If your kid is below that have realistic expectations. It doesn't mean they won't get into a selective school, but they need options. For anybody "unhooked", regardless of their stats, make sure they have a couple of safeties they are excited about attending.

This is true. If you don't have straight As, you are in for a world of hurt. Sadly, this isn't going to help the mental health of highly capable students for years to come. The pressure of one test is nothing compared to the day in day out pressure to never make a mistake or have a bad day. I think colleges have just made the whole mental health problem much, much worse.

Just for the record, this is only true if your DC is coming from a public school. Private school kids are given more leeway on their GPAs. My 3.3 GPA, 1420 SAT DC at a Big 3 did just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all these “high stat” kids, how many of you are also submitting 4’s or 5’s from
Your AP tests to show that you actually earned the A? Thay may be the difference in many cases. Lots and lots of public high schools are handing out A’s way too easily. And as for SAT scores, does anyone find it weird that 1400
And 1500 scores seem like a dime a dozen these days? The curve is unreal which is even making those seem less valuable. You have to show you earned those A’s so you need AP Scores and you need excellent teacher recommendations.

+1. For anybody reading this who has not had a kid go through the process, a "high stats" gpa--and gpa is very important--at a public in fcps or mcps is a 4.0 uw. If your kid is below that have realistic expectations. It doesn't mean they won't get into a selective school, but they need options. For anybody "unhooked", regardless of their stats, make sure they have a couple of safeties they are excited about attending.

This is true. If you don't have straight As, you are in for a world of hurt. Sadly, this isn't going to help the mental health of highly capable students for years to come. The pressure of one test is nothing compared to the day in day out pressure to never make a mistake or have a bad day. I think colleges have just made the whole mental health problem much, much worse.

Just for the record, this is only true if your DC is coming from a public school. Private school kids are given more leeway on their GPAs. My 3.3 GPA, 1420 SAT DC at a Big 3 did just fine.

This year? Or is this from the past? What school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After a week of so many rejections and waitlists, I'm finding it hard to make sense of it all and struggling to know the best way to help my DD. Brutal week.

I am very sorry for your DD. Rejections hurt. And I'm sorry for you--it's the worst to watch your child struggle.

I am NOT an expert BUT as a mom of two kids who have dealt with the roller coaster of college admissions, my best advice as to how to help your DD:

1) validate her disappointment for a few days; it sucks when things you work hard for don't work out.

2) try to help her see that this is happening to many, many, hardworking, awesome, high-achieving kids...VERY few kids can beat the odds at these extremely tough-to-get-into schools. There will be amazing/talented kids just like her wherever she lands.

3) go to admissions day (if they have them) at the school(s) she has gotten into--these are so much better than regular pre-admissions tours because the schools really try to sell the kids AND they get to meet other admitted students...a lot of fun and it might just get her excited.

4) see if the admissions office from the schools she's into can hook her up with a student that is in the department she wants to major in and/or who is from her high school--making those personal connections may also get her excited.

It may be a bumpy couple of weeks but my guess is she'll be happy where she goes and she'll look back on this as a minor disappointment but one that put her on a very satisfying path. Good luck to her.

This is really good advice. I would just add that saying "things always work out for the best" isn't quite the right tone; it suggests that there's some magic hand that will swoop down to make things right.
Instead, consider saying "I know you can make the best of this situation." A kid who can learn to do that will have some really good tools in the box for the long haul of life.

I think both of those tones suggest you agree that they are ending up in a "less than" situation or that the current status is something bad that needs to be fixed or improved or dealt with. Instead of saying make lemonade out of lemons, I plan to extol the superior virtues of the lemon. It is an amazing and versatile fruit!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all these “high stat” kids, how many of you are also submitting 4’s or 5’s from
Your AP tests to show that you actually earned the A? Thay may be the difference in many cases. Lots and lots of public high schools are handing out A’s way too easily. And as for SAT scores, does anyone find it weird that 1400
And 1500 scores seem like a dime a dozen these days? The curve is unreal which is even making those seem less valuable. You have to show you earned those A’s so you need AP Scores and you need excellent teacher recommendations.

+1. For anybody reading this who has not had a kid go through the process, a "high stats" gpa--and gpa is very important--at a public in fcps or mcps is a 4.0 uw. If your kid is below that have realistic expectations. It doesn't mean they won't get into a selective school, but they need options. For anybody "unhooked", regardless of their stats, make sure they have a couple of safeties they are excited about attending.

This is true. If you don't have straight As, you are in for a world of hurt. Sadly, this isn't going to help the mental health of highly capable students for years to come. The pressure of one test is nothing compared to the day in day out pressure to never make a mistake or have a bad day. I think colleges have just made the whole mental health problem much, much worse.

Just for the record, this is only true if your DC is coming from a public school. Private school kids are given more leeway on their GPAs. My 3.3 GPA, 1420 SAT DC at a Big 3 did just fine.

This year? Or is this from the past? What school?

What do you mean by just fine? Your just fine may be someone else's disappointment. And did she get in ED?

This is not universally true anymore. If you are able to apply ED, you can stretch the range a bit. Otherwise, have a strong list of safety schools, even coming from a strong private shcool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all these “high stat” kids, how many of you are also submitting 4’s or 5’s from
Your AP tests to show that you actually earned the A? Thay may be the difference in many cases. Lots and lots of public high schools are handing out A’s way too easily. And as for SAT scores, does anyone find it weird that 1400
And 1500 scores seem like a dime a dozen these days? The curve is unreal which is even making those seem less valuable. You have to show you earned those A’s so you need AP Scores and you need excellent teacher recommendations.

+1. For anybody reading this who has not had a kid go through the process, a "high stats" gpa--and gpa is very important--at a public in fcps or mcps is a 4.0 uw. If your kid is below that have realistic expectations. It doesn't mean they won't get into a selective school, but they need options. For anybody "unhooked", regardless of their stats, make sure they have a couple of safeties they are excited about attending.

This is true. If you don't have straight As, you are in for a world of hurt. Sadly, this isn't going to help the mental health of highly capable students for years to come. The pressure of one test is nothing compared to the day in day out pressure to never make a mistake or have a bad day. I think colleges have just made the whole mental health problem much, much worse.

Just for the record, this is only true if your DC is coming from a public school. Private school kids are given more leeway on their GPAs. My 3.3 GPA, 1420 SAT DC at a Big 3 did just fine.

This year? Or is this from the past? What school?

This year. DS at one of the Big 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all these “high stat” kids, how many of you are also submitting 4’s or 5’s from
Your AP tests to show that you actually earned the A? Thay may be the difference in many cases. Lots and lots of public high schools are handing out A’s way too easily. And as for SAT scores, does anyone find it weird that 1400
And 1500 scores seem like a dime a dozen these days? The curve is unreal which is even making those seem less valuable. You have to show you earned those A’s so you need AP Scores and you need excellent teacher recommendations.

+1. For anybody reading this who has not had a kid go through the process, a "high stats" gpa--and gpa is very important--at a public in fcps or mcps is a 4.0 uw. If your kid is below that have realistic expectations. It doesn't mean they won't get into a selective school, but they need options. For anybody "unhooked", regardless of their stats, make sure they have a couple of safeties they are excited about attending.

This is true. If you don't have straight As, you are in for a world of hurt. Sadly, this isn't going to help the mental health of highly capable students for years to come. The pressure of one test is nothing compared to the day in day out pressure to never make a mistake or have a bad day. I think colleges have just made the whole mental health problem much, much worse.

Just for the record, this is only true if your DC is coming from a public school. Private school kids are given more leeway on their GPAs. My 3.3 GPA, 1420 SAT DC at a Big 3 did just fine.

This year? Or is this from the past? What school?

I have big 3 kid 3.2 GPA and 1450 SAT did well this year. In at all safeties and targets and a few reaches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all these “high stat” kids, how many of you are also submitting 4’s or 5’s from
Your AP tests to show that you actually earned the A? Thay may be the difference in many cases. Lots and lots of public high schools are handing out A’s way too easily. And as for SAT scores, does anyone find it weird that 1400
And 1500 scores seem like a dime a dozen these days? The curve is unreal which is even making those seem less valuable. You have to show you earned those A’s so you need AP Scores and you need excellent teacher recommendations.

+1. For anybody reading this who has not had a kid go through the process, a "high stats" gpa--and gpa is very important--at a public in fcps or mcps is a 4.0 uw. If your kid is below that have realistic expectations. It doesn't mean they won't get into a selective school, but they need options. For anybody "unhooked", regardless of their stats, make sure they have a couple of safeties they are excited about attending.

This is true. If you don't have straight As, you are in for a world of hurt. Sadly, this isn't going to help the mental health of highly capable students for years to come. The pressure of one test is nothing compared to the day in day out pressure to never make a mistake or have a bad day. I think colleges have just made the whole mental health problem much, much worse.

Just for the record, this is only true if your DC is coming from a public school. Private school kids are given more leeway on their GPAs. My 3.3 GPA, 1420 SAT DC at a Big 3 did just fine.

This year? Or is this from the past? What school?

I have big 3 kid 3.2 GPA and 1450 SAT did well this year. In at all safeties and targets and a few reaches.

+1. There really is a difference coming from a private school, versus a public. Oh, and let's not forget the magic words: Full Pay, although my Big 3 DC did receive merit aid offers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would love to know stats and schools and finances.

My unhooked white ds with 1330/3.8 at a crappy public has gotten in everywhere. Top 30-50. Full pay.

Name the schools or it didn’t happen PP

NP and absolutely, this is my son too. Key words are DS and full pay. Many of these schools, even T50, need these most of all.

For the love of Christ, you can not get into a full pay anything without the stats. Stop repeating the same BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all these “high stat” kids, how many of you are also submitting 4’s or 5’s from
Your AP tests to show that you actually earned the A? Thay may be the difference in many cases. Lots and lots of public high schools are handing out A’s way too easily. And as for SAT scores, does anyone find it weird that 1400
And 1500 scores seem like a dime a dozen these days? The curve is unreal which is even making those seem less valuable. You have to show you earned those A’s so you need AP Scores and you need excellent teacher recommendations.

+1. For anybody reading this who has not had a kid go through the process, a "high stats" gpa--and gpa is very important--at a public in fcps or mcps is a 4.0 uw. If your kid is below that have realistic expectations. It doesn't mean they won't get into a selective school, but they need options. For anybody "unhooked", regardless of their stats, make sure they have a couple of safeties they are excited about attending.

This is true. If you don't have straight As, you are in for a world of hurt. Sadly, this isn't going to help the mental health of highly capable students for years to come. The pressure of one test is nothing compared to the day in day out pressure to never make a mistake or have a bad day. I think colleges have just made the whole mental health problem much, much worse.

Just for the record, this is only true if your DC is coming from a public school. Private school kids are given more leeway on their GPAs. My 3.3 GPA, 1420 SAT DC at a Big 3 did just fine.

This year? Or is this from the past? What school?

This year. DS at one of the Big 3.

No, not what Big 3. What college/university?

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP. All this is good advice but it’s still hard to see your kid disappointed.

NP here saying the same thing as another PP- my DD wound up at one of her safeties and has loved it! Socially and academically it’s been a great fit- and we were not sure of that at all going in! Agree too that transferring is ok, too. Ask around to functional adults you know and many of them didn’t finish at the school they started at. And most didn’t go to these tippy top schools. DCUM gives a skewed view of the world. It’s really going to be ok. Start getting excited about the safety.