In laws attribute all intelligence to dh

[Anonymous]

my MIL does something similar and it's infuriating. the twist is that everything comes from her and her side of the family. FIL genes made no impact whatsoever, and neither did mine. people who tell you that you are too sensitive don't understand how annoying it is to listen to this, visit after visit, year after year, kid after kid, feature after feature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine do the same. And when MIL gets together with her sisters, they attribute every characteristic of my kids to their side of the family as in “she gets her singing voice from grandpa Joe” or “that blonde hair comes from grandma” never mind that there are many blondes in my family with good voices! It’s as if I was merely a vessel for my DH’s creation.
It’s annoying AF but I just sit there and grit my teeth.

Another vessel here! My 3DC age from 21-15 and anything that could be seen as undesirable or unattractive clearly came from me. My ILs love nothing more than regularly sharing on FB a split screen of DD, age 13 with MIL, same age and then wait for the likes and clicks!

I contributed: inability to tan, introversion, crooked teeth that required extensive, expensive orthodontia, poor math and test taking skills meriting tutoring (also expensive), general disinterested in competitive sports, fine hair, and when convenient to construe as a negative, build.

I do believe that generally, grandparents see what they want to see. In the meantime, my mom and sister contend that my youngest is my mini-me! My still close group of childhood friends say my DS and I have the same dry sense of humor, mannerisms and eyes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my MIL does something similar and it's infuriating. the twist is that everything comes from her and her side of the family. FIL genes made no impact whatsoever, and neither did mine. people who tell you that you are too sensitive don't understand how annoying it is to listen to this, visit after visit, year after year, kid after kid, feature after feature.

Just say that her son couldn’t get it up and you went with donor sperm. That will shut her up.

[Anonymous]

And your parents regularly and equally praise your husband for the kids success?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They knew your DH at that age, they did not know you so they have no idea if your children also take after you.

This it's human nature. Time to work on your self esteem ,OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And your parents regularly and equally praise your husband for the kids success?

No my parents do none of this shit

[Anonymous]

I'm actually appalled at the excuses in this thread. It's "cultural" to be a retrograde sexist and pseudo racist a-hole? It's disgusting and it's pathetic that so many of you think it's okay and that OP should tolerate such abuse IN HER HOME IN FRONT OF HER FAMILY!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my MIL does something similar and it's infuriating. the twist is that everything comes from her and her side of the family. FIL genes made no impact whatsoever, and neither did mine. people who tell you that you are too sensitive don't understand how annoying it is to listen to this, visit after visit, year after year, kid after kid, feature after feature.

+1. It finally got to the point I just pointed out that by any stretch MIL was a failure as was the rest of her family, any "success" only achieved by stealing or cheating (true, they admitted it all freely and unasked).

At some point you aren't beholden to social niceties, particularly when the jabs and attacks are over a decade and very intentional.

IDGAF anymore. Bonus, DH told her point blank his goal was to marry someone smarter than himself and he was delighted to have been successful in that regard.

[Anonymous]

There is plenty of scientific evidence that intelligence is usually inherited through the maternal side - will find some links for you …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is plenty of scientific evidence that intelligence is usually inherited through the maternal side - will find some links for you …

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/children-intelligence-iq-mother-inherit-inheritance-genetics-genes-a7345596.html

Children inherit their intelligence from their mother not their father, say scientists
Genes for cleverness are carried on the X chromosome and may be deactivated if they come from the father

A mother's genetics determines how clever her children are, according to researchers, and the father makes no difference.
Women are more likely to transmit intelligence genes to their children because they are carried on the X chromosome and women have two of these, while men only have one.


https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/family-kids/scots-researchers-discover-kids-inherit-23941709
Scots researchers discover kids inherit intelligence from mums, not dads

Children inherit intelligence from their mother, according to new research from leading Scots scientists. MMultiple studies have shown the intelligence comes from the X chromosome.


https://www.rd.com/article/inherit-intelligence-from-mom/

Good News! Science Has Confirmed That Kids Get Their Intelligence From Mom

There’s a very scientific reason why you can thank mother dearest for your smarts.

Moms, you now have one more reason to pat yourself on the back for your kids’ success. And guys, you’ll want to find an intelligent partner, stat! According to research highlighted by Psychology Spot, more often than not, a child’s intelligence comes from—you guessed it—mother dearest.
Common sense might suggest that children inherit intelligence from both parents. However, the study reports that certain genes operate differently, depending on whether they are from the mother or father. The genes that determine intelligence are located in chromosome X. Because women carry two X chromosomes and men carry only one, children are twice as likely to get their intelligence from their mom. (By the way, the best moms in the world have this one trait in common.) Meanwhile, intelligence genes from the father are deactivated, the study reports.
If you’re still not convinced, try this: The evidence goes back for decades. Starting in 1994, researchers at the Medical Research Council Social and Public Health Sciences Unit interviewed 12,686 people ranging in age from 14 to 22. Their results? After accounting for the children’s IQ, race, education, and socio-economic status, the best predictor for intelligence was, once again, the mother’s IQ. Want to give your mother a gift in return for all she gave you? Moms will love these presents.

[Anonymous]

I just want to say to OP and other posters in this thread going through this, I’m so sorry and you are right to be annoyed! It’s not normal. My parents and my husbands parents both say our DC is a mix of both of us and celebrate that. I’m sorry that you don’t have that from your in-laws and I’m not sharing to gloat, but just to say that you are right feel like your situation is weird and frustrating. It is.

[Anonymous]

I remember when we announced out first pregnancy to the IL's. First words out of MIL's mouth were- "It's going to be a boy and he is going to look just like (my) DH". Not even a congrats. I was pissed . Over the years all the positive attributes are always ones that "run in their family". Meanwhile kids very much resemble BOTH sides of the family and we have equally if not even more so highly educated people in my family. It is just how the IL's are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is plenty of scientific evidence that intelligence is usually inherited through the maternal side - will find some links for you …

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/children-intelligence-iq-mother-inherit-inheritance-genetics-genes-a7345596.html

Children inherit their intelligence from their mother not their father, say scientists
Genes for cleverness are carried on the X chromosome and may be deactivated if they come from the father

A mother's genetics determines how clever her children are, according to researchers, and the father makes no difference.
Women are more likely to transmit intelligence genes to their children because they are carried on the X chromosome and women have two of these, while men only have one.


https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/family-kids/scots-researchers-discover-kids-inherit-23941709
Scots researchers discover kids inherit intelligence from mums, not dads

Children inherit intelligence from their mother, according to new research from leading Scots scientists. MMultiple studies have shown the intelligence comes from the X chromosome.


https://www.rd.com/article/inherit-intelligence-from-mom/

Good News! Science Has Confirmed That Kids Get Their Intelligence From Mom

There’s a very scientific reason why you can thank mother dearest for your smarts.

Moms, you now have one more reason to pat yourself on the back for your kids’ success. And guys, you’ll want to find an intelligent partner, stat! According to research highlighted by Psychology Spot, more often than not, a child’s intelligence comes from—you guessed it—mother dearest.
Common sense might suggest that children inherit intelligence from both parents. However, the study reports that certain genes operate differently, depending on whether they are from the mother or father. The genes that determine intelligence are located in chromosome X. Because women carry two X chromosomes and men carry only one, children are twice as likely to get their intelligence from their mom. (By the way, the best moms in the world have this one trait in common.) Meanwhile, intelligence genes from the father are deactivated, the study reports.
If you’re still not convinced, try this: The evidence goes back for decades. Starting in 1994, researchers at the Medical Research Council Social and Public Health Sciences Unit interviewed 12,686 people ranging in age from 14 to 22. Their results? After accounting for the children’s IQ, race, education, and socio-economic status, the best predictor for intelligence was, once again, the mother’s IQ. Want to give your mother a gift in return for all she gave you? Moms will love these presents.

This means that it only really applies to boys, since the dad gives an X chromosomes to the daughter, as well.

So, yes, in OP's case since she has all boys, this would be true.

This is why I tell my son to marry a smart woman. His current GF is super smart. I joke that if they have kids they will have super smart babies. My son is in a magnet program (so is his GF), and scores off the charts.

[Anonymous]

You are not that smart if this bothers you.
Shows only how insecure you are.
They have no idea if you or your kids are actually smart, they are just braggy grandparents.