Moderate conservative immigrant family moving from Fairfax VA to Mountain View CA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in MV CA and have a 6th grader. CA schools are prohibited from going online (which causes a ruckus during omicron surge because so many people wanted to do a repeat of 2020). I am still baffled how CA finally adopted some helpful legislation but here we are!
I have heard from a teacher friend that starting about 7th grade teachers have to dedicate a certain percentage of their time promoting LGBTQ values. But I think if your kids aren’t into pride club and don’t fall to the fad of identifying as someone else other than their gender it should be fine.
There are also parochial schools that are relatively secular and relatively inexpensive.
The COL is horrible but I assure you you won’t starve on 200k+. You will get a modest 2 bedroom and will be fine.
There is a FB group called Mountain View moms you may want to join.
As for the school districts, Los Altos is great, Palo Alto used to be great but is now falling victim to affordable housing on one end and pressure cooker/cram school culture on the other. Mountain View is ok, truly diverse, but has 30% farms across the board.

That's yet another red flag for me for public schools. Also a modest 2 bedroom apartment will be a significant downgrade from my 3-bedroom TH. I would prefer to sacrifice up to 8hrs/week total into commute time to get a better home..

Anonymous wrote:
Have then go to St Francis in MV (great records from my secular mom friends) and live in good parts of MV and you will have a nice life. Don’t decline! CA is horribly run but it’s a great place to spend a few years because even the most horrible management can’t extinguish the nature and weather! And smartest people around you!

Anonymous wrote:
Try far out East Bay - Walnut Creek, Livermore (someone I know who lives there called it "Live No More" because it's so far and boring suburbia), Pleasanton, San Ramon. I don't know if you can afford the rent there but the schools are "decent".

IMO far out East Bay seems more moderate than places like Oakland or SJ.

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster from MV and I have lived in DC before. I find people in CA to be generally friendlier fwiw.

Yes I am aware of those advantages (weather + people), that's why I'm still considering this. But I don't want to make sacrifices in core parts of my standards.
So these places have good private schools, are safe and are more affordable than MV?

[Anonymous]

The votes for St Francis and Los Altos make sense. More small town community feel. Los Altos is expensive but part of their school zone goes into Mountain View (near Safeway). You could look at the rentals near there that are townhomes

The pp who noted the split situation is Palo Alto schools makes a good point. Much more cram school pressure cooker at the high end (like AAP on steroids). They tried to address with parents stepping up to guard CalTrain crossings etc but there was a spate of student suicides due to mental health and pressures for high performance at Gunn and Paly. (You may have been in the Bay Area at the time.) I’d look more closely at this if you are actually considering Palo Alto.

[Anonymous]

Why do you want to make this move? What are the benefits to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you want to make this move? What are the benefits to you?

Thank you for asking, yes I guess I didn't clarify that. The job is basically an entry-level position with an established tech company in SV, which has potential for growth in the future. Our current jobs here in NoVA are decent and our income is around $140K which is ok but not great, and there is no room for growth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So this is what I have based on all your information (thank you all again for your inputs).
1. Public schools throughout CA are terrible compared those in Fairfax (dumbed-down "equitable" math, low scores nationwide etc.) So getting my kids into a private school with a decent curriculum is a hard requirement (and hopefully pick one with as less as progressive stuff as possible).
2. Assuming my kids got admitted into a good private school, I am looking at roughly $80K tuition for both. Which leaves me with $150K-$170K-ish (pre-tax) assuming my spouse works. Looks like areas in or near SV are out of the question just because my income is not sufficient. Commuting 1.5 - 2hrs twice a week would be barely tolerable for me. That area should be as safe as Fairfax. Is there such an area? (If not, I guess the discussion ends here and I just decline the offer).

Have then go to St Francis in MV (great records from my secular mom friends) and live in good parts of MV and you will have a nice life. Don’t decline! CA is horribly run but it’s a great place to spend a few years because even the most horrible management can’t extinguish the nature and weather! And smartest people around you!

OPs kids aren’t getting into St. Francis.

[Anonymous]

OP, one more thought: you are asking a DC centric board about California. Yes, there are Californians here, but there as many who aren’t here or who left California for whatever reason. For comparison, if you asked people in Mountain View about moving to Fairfax, you would like get some very distorted answers. Just keep that in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There are many families just like yours in MV. I haven't heard of any teacher obligating asking of pronouns, but some kids probably offer them. The population is very diverse. This $1k obligatory donation PP is talking about is completely untrue. I do not think they say the pledge of allegiance in the classrooms but I think that has been true for many years afaik (like since the 90s). There aren't rainbow flags in classrooms by policy, but it is possible individual teachers may have one (I have no idea why you would be so triggered by that, though, and I'm doubting the resiliency of you and your kids with that comment).

I don't want to reply to that "resiliency" comment, but what I do want to know is if I get a teacher putting the rainbow flag besides the American flag in the classroom, will I be able to report this to the principal and have the flag taken down? At least here in Fairfax, things are somewhat moderate and we are generally ok with the public school system.
Again I don't want to discuss about my family's values and beliefs, we are who we are. I just don't want to get my kids into an ultra-progressive public school system which is not consistent with our values.

PP who suggested you go to the eastern and inland areas of the BA again. I'm not interested in arguing with you about your politics. I am an expert on California's political climate though and have written many papers and books on the state and on Silicon Valley, in particular. I have lived in the Bay Area and in DC for over three decades.

Based on what you just stated, the places where you would want to live in California will be mostly in the inland, north, and far southeast areas of the state. (Santa Cruz, which you suggested is literally the opposite of the kind of community you seek.) The southern portions of San Jose/Gilroy will be more in your price range, but they aren't especially safe areas and the politics there aren't as conservative as you would like. To the extent they are conservative, at least some portion of that conservatism is anti-immigrant, which would not really help you.

Also, FYI - you say you consider yourself a moderate conservative, but in California most moderate conservatives embrace LGBT rights. By California standards, you are not moderate. You are conservative, full stop. I'm not saying this to insult you, but to help you understand how to find what you want.

FWIW - There are very few places in the Bay Area where even the conservatives would freak out about the presence of a rainbow flag in a classroom. (Frankly, I think that your views aren't even as accepted as you might believe in Fairfax.) I can't think of a single community in the Bay Area where a parent could demand something like that - e.g., take down a rainbow flag - without it turning into a major fight that you would most likely lose.

That said, I think you can find communities here where the liberal politics aren't as "in your face," where the schools are excellent, and where immigrants are welcome. For that, I repeat my recommendation to go through the tunnel to the Lamorinda area (Orinda, Lafayette, Walnut Creek, Danville, etc.). The other place you could go would be outside Sacramento, but that's way too long for commute. You'd also find a similar fit in the Bakersfield/San Joaquin Valley, but that commute is also brutal.

The easy way to do this is to get out a map and look at the counties and cities where Trump won. Those places are where you will most likely find people with views similar to yours, though they may also be anti-immigrant, which is just something you'll have to navigate.

For being such an expert, you’re really off base. California is home to MANY immigrants, and many of them hold conservative values. I don’t believe you can lump them with Trump conservatives who cry about freedom and masks, and so forth. There are so many ‘cultural conservatives’ in California, they’re a bit overlooked in the media. Plenty of Latino, Indian, Asian, Middle Eastern, Armenian Californians have traditional family values and eschew liberal ideology.

I think OP will find his community, the question is finding a place that’s affordable with a decent commute!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster from MV and I have lived in DC before. I find people in CA to be generally friendlier fwiw.

Oh and no, you don’t want to commute from east bay! Stay local

OP can't afford local and is willing to commute 1.5 hours one way, 2x/week.

She can afford local on 200k/yr, but she is somewhat spoiled so I get it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So this is what I have based on all your information (thank you all again for your inputs).
1. Public schools throughout CA are terrible compared those in Fairfax (dumbed-down "equitable" math, low scores nationwide etc.) So getting my kids into a private school with a decent curriculum is a hard requirement (and hopefully pick one with as less as progressive stuff as possible).
2. Assuming my kids got admitted into a good private school, I am looking at roughly $80K tuition for both. Which leaves me with $150K-$170K-ish (pre-tax) assuming my spouse works. Looks like areas in or near SV are out of the question just because my income is not sufficient. Commuting 1.5 - 2hrs twice a week would be barely tolerable for me. That area should be as safe as Fairfax. Is there such an area? (If not, I guess the discussion ends here and I just decline the offer).

Have then go to St Francis in MV (great records from my secular mom friends) and live in good parts of MV and you will have a nice life. Don’t decline! CA is horribly run but it’s a great place to spend a few years because even the most horrible management can’t extinguish the nature and weather! And smartest people around you!

OPs kids aren’t getting into St. Francis.

Why not?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in MV CA and have a 6th grader. CA schools are prohibited from going online (which causes a ruckus during omicron surge because so many people wanted to do a repeat of 2020). I am still baffled how CA finally adopted some helpful legislation but here we are!
I have heard from a teacher friend that starting about 7th grade teachers have to dedicate a certain percentage of their time promoting LGBTQ values. But I think if your kids aren’t into pride club and don’t fall to the fad of identifying as someone else other than their gender it should be fine.
There are also parochial schools that are relatively secular and relatively inexpensive.
The COL is horrible but I assure you you won’t starve on 200k+. You will get a modest 2 bedroom and will be fine.
There is a FB group called Mountain View moms you may want to join.
As for the school districts, Los Altos is great, Palo Alto used to be great but is now falling victim to affordable housing on one end and pressure cooker/cram school culture on the other. Mountain View is ok, truly diverse, but has 30% farms across the board.

That's yet another red flag for me for public schools. Also a modest 2 bedroom apartment will be a significant downgrade from my 3-bedroom TH. I would prefer to sacrifice up to 8hrs/week total into commute time to get a better home..

Anonymous wrote:
Have then go to St Francis in MV (great records from my secular mom friends) and live in good parts of MV and you will have a nice life. Don’t decline! CA is horribly run but it’s a great place to spend a few years because even the most horrible management can’t extinguish the nature and weather! And smartest people around you!

Anonymous wrote:
Try far out East Bay - Walnut Creek, Livermore (someone I know who lives there called it "Live No More" because it's so far and boring suburbia), Pleasanton, San Ramon. I don't know if you can afford the rent there but the schools are "decent".

IMO far out East Bay seems more moderate than places like Oakland or SJ.

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster from MV and I have lived in DC before. I find people in CA to be generally friendlier fwiw.

Yes I am aware of those advantages (weather + people), that's why I'm still considering this. But I don't want to make sacrifices in core parts of my standards.
So these places have good private schools, are safe and are more affordable than MV?

Please don’t be ridiculous. Your HHI is 140k and no room for growth and you don’t want 200 with ample room for growth?
You may be able to afford 3 bedrooms, not sure. If you bring in 10k/mo you can spend 4-5k/month on rent.
And I repeat, do not live far from where you work. Not worth it.

[Anonymous]

MV poster again: here in the classrooms you are more likely to see the rainbow flag than the American one, lol
Conservatives keep to themselves and have their own small communities but don’t protest openly against public school policies. They pull their kids out or suffer in silence so to speak.
I am friends with many immigrants who are on the conservative side and their main strategy is avoidance and keeping a circle of like minded friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So this is what I have based on all your information (thank you all again for your inputs).
1. Public schools throughout CA are terrible compared those in Fairfax (dumbed-down "equitable" math, low scores nationwide etc.) So getting my kids into a private school with a decent curriculum is a hard requirement (and hopefully pick one with as less as progressive stuff as possible).
2. Assuming my kids got admitted into a good private school, I am looking at roughly $80K tuition for both. Which leaves me with $150K-$170K-ish (pre-tax) assuming my spouse works. Looks like areas in or near SV are out of the question just because my income is not sufficient. Commuting 1.5 - 2hrs twice a week would be barely tolerable for me. That area should be as safe as Fairfax. Is there such an area? (If not, I guess the discussion ends here and I just decline the offer).

Have then go to St Francis in MV (great records from my secular mom friends) and live in good parts of MV and you will have a nice life. Don’t decline! CA is horribly run but it’s a great place to spend a few years because even the most horrible management can’t extinguish the nature and weather! And smartest people around you!

OPs kids aren’t getting into St. Francis.

Why not?!

Admissions season is almost over. St. Francis is competitive in the best of years but this year has been crazy, even local kids who would have gotten in for sure in years before are not going to get in. There aren’t going to be spots for off cycle admissions from unknown public schools from across the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So this is what I have based on all your information (thank you all again for your inputs).
1. Public schools throughout CA are terrible compared those in Fairfax (dumbed-down "equitable" math, low scores nationwide etc.) So getting my kids into a private school with a decent curriculum is a hard requirement (and hopefully pick one with as less as progressive stuff as possible).
2. Assuming my kids got admitted into a good private school, I am looking at roughly $80K tuition for both. Which leaves me with $150K-$170K-ish (pre-tax) assuming my spouse works. Looks like areas in or near SV are out of the question just because my income is not sufficient. Commuting 1.5 - 2hrs twice a week would be barely tolerable for me. That area should be as safe as Fairfax. Is there such an area? (If not, I guess the discussion ends here and I just decline the offer).

Have then go to St Francis in MV (great records from my secular mom friends) and live in good parts of MV and you will have a nice life. Don’t decline! CA is horribly run but it’s a great place to spend a few years because even the most horrible management can’t extinguish the nature and weather! And smartest people around you!

OPs kids aren’t getting into St. Francis.

Why not?!

Admissions season is almost over. St. Francis is competitive in the best of years but this year has been crazy, even local kids who would have gotten in for sure in years before are not going to get in. There aren’t going to be spots for off cycle admissions from unknown public schools from across the country.

Ah, good to know, I am local but not playing all these crazy admission games

[Anonymous]

Yes, unfortunately if OP wants one of the good privates, he has missed the cycle. And those are insanely competitive even if he wasn’t off cycle.

[Anonymous]

Hi! We live in SF, I’m originally from WC and my husband drives down to the valley approx 1x a week. As pp stated, admissions season is over, some schools are highly competitive and besides tuition (there are 6 single gender independent schools in Sf tuition is about 40k) there is the donation to cover the gap, which is generally between 5 and 8k and everyone had a capital campaign where they will ask another 10-100k. Parochial schools often have rolling admissions, much lower tuition (10-15k sometimes w max around 20k no matter now many kids you send) many parochial have good academics and you’ll find conservative immigrant families there. East bay is generally more affordable w some good public schools, lamorinda and WC/Alamo/Danville tend to skew conservative but very white.