Moderate conservative immigrant family moving from Fairfax VA to Mountain View CA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, unfortunately if OP wants one of the good privates, he has missed the cycle. And those are insanely competitive even if he wasn’t off cycle.

How on earth can OP afford good privates on that salary in the Bay Area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
For being such an expert, you’re really off base. California is home to MANY immigrants, and many of them hold conservative values. I don’t believe you can lump them with Trump conservatives who cry about freedom and masks, and so forth. There are so many ‘cultural conservatives’ in California, they’re a bit overlooked in the media. Plenty of Latino, Indian, Asian, Middle Eastern, Armenian Californians have traditional family values and eschew liberal ideology.

I think OP will find his community, the question is finding a place that’s affordable with a decent commute!

Thank you for your thoughts. Yes what you say sounds true. Hope this forum help me find the answer to this question!

Anonymous wrote:
Please don’t be ridiculous. Your HHI is 140k and no room for growth and you don’t want 200 with ample room for growth?
You may be able to afford 3 bedrooms, not sure. If you bring in 10k/mo you can spend 4-5k/month on rent.
And I repeat, do not live far from where you work. Not worth it.

From my discussions above, it seems that Bay area public schools are out of the question ("dumbed-down" - "equitable" math, much lower educational quality overall compared to VA schools). So I need to have room to afford private school tuition for 2 kids.

Anonymous wrote:MV poster again: here in the classrooms you are more likely to see the rainbow flag than the American one, lol
Conservatives keep to themselves and have their own small communities but don’t protest openly against public school policies. They pull their kids out or suffer in silence so to speak.
I am friends with many immigrants who are on the conservative side and their main strategy is avoidance and keeping a circle of like minded friends

I guess you are referring to public schools right? I am not considering them based on the previous discussion, what you said is yet another good reason for that.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, unfortunately if OP wants one of the good privates, he has missed the cycle. And those are insanely competitive even if he wasn’t off cycle.

Good point. Hopefully I can get find a temporary solution for now (get into another private school with less demand and apply within the cycle next year, or push back the start date of that job). But regardless, I want to see if there is a viable solution for me or not in the first place.

Anonymous wrote:Hi! We live in SF, I’m originally from WC and my husband drives down to the valley approx 1x a week. As pp stated, admissions season is over, some schools are highly competitive and besides tuition (there are 6 single gender independent schools in Sf tuition is about 40k) there is the donation to cover the gap, which is generally between 5 and 8k and everyone had a capital campaign where they will ask another 10-100k. Parochial schools often have rolling admissions, much lower tuition (10-15k sometimes w max around 20k no matter now many kids you send) many parochial have good academics and you’ll find conservative immigrant families there. East bay is generally more affordable w some good public schools, lamorinda and WC/Alamo/Danville tend to skew conservative but very white.

Thank you for your input. Wow what are these numbers! 5-8k "donation"?? 10-100k "capital campaign"? Aren't they considering lower incomes for that? I think $40k max per kid is what I would pay, not a dollar more, its starting to get ridiculous after that and I can't afford it anyway.
As I wrote above, I am not considering public schools there. Are these parochial schools you refer to in WC or in the Bay area in general?

[Anonymous]

OP, politics is are the least of your worries with that salary in the Bay area. Why not stay here, if you are that worried about politics and have the potential to make 200k?

[Anonymous]

A dual doctor couple told me they feel poor in the Bay area. Honestly doesn't sound like a smart move on your salary. Good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, politics is are the least of your worries with that salary in the Bay area. Why not stay here, if you are that worried about politics and have the potential to make 200k?

Anonymous wrote:A dual doctor couple told me they feel poor in the Bay area. Honestly doesn't sound like a smart move on your salary. Good luck to you!

Yes I understand that, that's why I'm looking for a more affordable place within my "commutable" range (2hr max one-way) which is safe and has a good private school. (Monterey? WC? I don't know..)
Thank you for your wishes!

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids, OP?

Near MV, St. Simon’s is thought of as a very good parochial school. The Girl’s Middle School is outstanding.

I can’t guarantee your kids wouldn’t encounter a rainbow flag at either, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids, OP?

Near MV, St. Simon’s is thought of as a very good parochial school. The Girl’s Middle School is outstanding.

I can’t guarantee your kids wouldn’t encounter a rainbow flag at either, though.

5 and 6th grade, it's in the very first post.

Re "progressiveness" in schools to explain: I'm not demanding that my kids won't ever "see" a rainbow flag in school. However as explained in my previous posts, what I do want is my kids don't get brainwashed with progressive stuff. As another pp stated: "7th grade teachers have to dedicate a certain percentage of their time promoting LGBTQ values." This is a red flag for me for public schools (the "dumbed-down" math thing is another). Same goes for things like turning Black history month into a BLM month etc.

Thank you for your inputs about those schools. Not sure if I can afford SV area though (some argue that I can, some that I don't, so I'm a bit confused in that).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids, OP?

Near MV, St. Simon’s is thought of as a very good parochial school. The Girl’s Middle School is outstanding.

I can’t guarantee your kids wouldn’t encounter a rainbow flag at either, though.

5 and 6th grade, it's in the very first post.

Re "progressiveness" in schools to explain: I'm not demanding that my kids won't ever "see" a rainbow flag in school. However as explained in my previous posts, what I do want is my kids don't get brainwashed with progressive stuff. As another pp stated: "7th grade teachers have to dedicate a certain percentage of their time promoting LGBTQ values." This is a red flag for me for public schools (the "dumbed-down" math thing is another). Same goes for things like turning Black history month into a BLM month etc.

Thank you for your inputs about those schools. Not sure if I can afford SV area though (some argue that I can, some that I don't, so I'm a bit confused in that).

Right, but you said you want to call the principal and demand removal if your kids encounter a rainbow flag in the classroom. Culturally that would put you very, very far out of the mainstream even for conservatives. I am friends with some very conservative and religious California families and that would never cross their minds.

On the private schools, 6th grade is an admissions year for a lot of them. 7th is less so. Even 6th is hard for the K-8s. I had a friend apply to Keys (another good K-8) and I think they had four spots total for sixth grade available.

[Anonymous]

Is there any area in the US that is intolerant of a rainbow flag?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Right, but you said you want to call the principal and demand removal if your kids encounter a rainbow flag in the classroom. Culturally that would put you very, very far out of the mainstream even for conservatives. I am friends with some very conservative and religious California families and that would never cross their minds.

On the private schools, 6th grade is an admissions year for a lot of them. 7th is less so. Even 6th is hard for the K-8s. I had a friend apply to Keys (another good K-8) and I think they had four spots total for sixth grade available.

I was not thinking on "encounter", but rather putting it next to the American flag as if the kids should put those "values" in their minds equally to the American values in general. I brought this as an example of ultra-progressive politics in classrooms, which I don't want my kids exposed to. My kids were never directly exposed into this level of progressiveness all these years in the public school system in NoVA, and I would like to keep it that way.
I brought the flag example in order for me to understand how "bad" progressiveness is in the Bay public schools compared to NoVA ones. Here whenever these things are happening, are exposed pretty fast by some conservative parents and there's some backlash. The privilege bingo thing was one such example. A couple of days ago, one parent circulated a BLM slideset of teaching middle-school kids as part of Black history month. These are still relative rare here, and my initial question was how rare or frequent they are in the Bay schools.

But I guess this question is now moot, as I am not considering public schools there anymore, and the question is if I can afford a good private one in a commutable area near SV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Right, but you said you want to call the principal and demand removal if your kids encounter a rainbow flag in the classroom. Culturally that would put you very, very far out of the mainstream even for conservatives. I am friends with some very conservative and religious California families and that would never cross their minds.

On the private schools, 6th grade is an admissions year for a lot of them. 7th is less so. Even 6th is hard for the K-8s. I had a friend apply to Keys (another good K-8) and I think they had four spots total for sixth grade available.

I was not thinking on "encounter", but rather putting it next to the American flag as if the kids should put those "values" in their minds equally to the American values in general. I brought this as an example of ultra-progressive politics in classrooms, which I don't want my kids exposed to. My kids were never directly exposed into this level of progressiveness all these years in the public school system in NoVA, and I would like to keep it that way.
I brought the flag example in order for me to understand how "bad" progressiveness is in the Bay public schools compared to NoVA ones. Here whenever these things are happening, are exposed pretty fast by some conservative parents and there's some backlash. The privilege bingo thing was one such example. A couple of days ago, one parent circulated a BLM slideset of teaching middle-school kids as part of Black history month. These are still relative rare here, and my initial question was how rare or frequent they are in the Bay schools.

But I guess this question is now moot, as I am not considering public schools there anymore, and the question is if I can afford a good private one in a commutable area near SV.

I understood what you meant, but what I am telling you is that response puts you very far out of even the conservative mainstream here. This “run to the manager” type of response is comparatively rare here because there tends to be a lot of tolerance for expression here. And mind you, this goes the other direction as well; there are very leftist families who don’t support American flags in the classrooms at all, but again, they aren’t running to the principal if they have a teacher with flags. Keep in mind that the Bay Area is very, very diverse, and it is expected that kids will be exposed to a variety of ideas and philosophies. School board meetings here can get fraught, but nothing like what I see described in the DMV school forums on DCUM. That seems totally crazy to me.

It’s not moot, either, because this all applies to the private schools as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I understood what you meant, but what I am telling you is that response puts you very far out of even the conservative mainstream here. This “run to the manager” type of response is comparatively rare here because there tends to be a lot of tolerance for expression here. And mind you, this goes the other direction as well; there are very leftist families who don’t support American flags in the classrooms at all, but again, they aren’t running to the principal if they have a teacher with flags. Keep in mind that the Bay Area is very, very diverse, and it is expected that kids will be exposed to a variety of ideas and philosophies. School board meetings here can get fraught, but nothing like what I see described in the DMV school forums on DCUM. That seems totally crazy to me.

It’s not moot, either, because this all applies to the private schools as well.

In a sense, those parents here who disagreed with the privilege bingo and the BLM slides basically "ran to the manager". I think there are some parents associated with GOP who are actively looking for the slightest thing to make some noise. Personally, I would prefer solving such issues with the principal rather than posting photos in social media and DCUM, but fortunately, I never had this dilemma in front of me.

But more about your last sentence: yes if that private school has those progressive stuff built in its curriculum, then it is automatically excluded from my consideration. From my understanding from various pp's, parochial schools are generally more moderate with regards to this stuff, much like Fairfax public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there any area in the US that is intolerant of a rainbow flag?

Parts of the Deep South and parts of Utah and Idaho come to mind

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there any area in the US that is intolerant of a rainbow flag?

Most rural areas in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I understood what you meant, but what I am telling you is that response puts you very far out of even the conservative mainstream here. This “run to the manager” type of response is comparatively rare here because there tends to be a lot of tolerance for expression here. And mind you, this goes the other direction as well; there are very leftist families who don’t support American flags in the classrooms at all, but again, they aren’t running to the principal if they have a teacher with flags. Keep in mind that the Bay Area is very, very diverse, and it is expected that kids will be exposed to a variety of ideas and philosophies. School board meetings here can get fraught, but nothing like what I see described in the DMV school forums on DCUM. That seems totally crazy to me.

It’s not moot, either, because this all applies to the private schools as well.

In a sense, those parents here who disagreed with the privilege bingo and the BLM slides basically "ran to the manager". I think there are some parents associated with GOP who are actively looking for the slightest thing to make some noise. Personally, I would prefer solving such issues with the principal rather than posting photos in social media and DCUM, but fortunately, I never had this dilemma in front of me.

But more about your last sentence: yes if that private school has those progressive stuff built in its curriculum, then it is automatically excluded from my consideration. From my understanding from various pp's, parochial schools are generally more moderate with regards to this stuff, much like Fairfax public schools.

You don't seem to be absorbing the point. The issue isn't the "progressive stuff" built into the curriculum or not. You will find some variety of progressivism in most if not all schools in the Bay Area (even parochials tend to have social justice curriculum elements). So if you literally want a curriculum with absolutely no progressive elements at all, you cannot come to California.

But I suspect that there are progressive elements in Fairfax curriculums as well, so I don't think the issue at heart is actually a progressive curriculum. The difference is how you expect to deal with it. You seem to believe you should be able to direct a principal to do what you want, and maybe that is true in VA. But it's not true in CA, and puts you extremely far outside the mainstream, even for conservatives (or the very leftist families, for that matter).

This approach of running to the principal/social media/school boards the minute your kids encounter a challenging idea is not tolerated here much.