Moderate conservative immigrant family moving from Fairfax VA to Mountain View CA

[Anonymous]

Ok so we just moved our kids from MV schools to FCPS so we have a very recent view.

OP, a few points:

1) the poster who lives in MV now is right. It’s a suggested donation, not mandatory $1k.
2) education quality is very important to my immigrant family and Virginia schools are far far better in quality than MV. More rigorous curriculum, fewer teachers close to retirement, better basics on math, grammar, etc and the AAP program as an option. It’d be hard for me to move back to that school system — even though it is full of well off families who care about students and has beautiful middle school track and field etc. Cupertino Monte Vista, Fremont Mission San Jose, or Palo Alto publics are better.
3) education policy — You don’t get more social Justice type of teaching there vs here. It isn’t politically charged like Loudon or fcps. There is more libertarianism and acceptance of LGBTQ overall in every day life. You will feel some effects of liberal policies though. The schools were shut down for a long time even though they are configured for open air space with lots of windows and courtyards/backpacks stored in hooks outside etc.
4) the catholic schools are worth a look and often provide good sports opportunities
5) $200k or even $300k is not enough when you are competing with Google RSUs for every townhouse in MV. If you just plan on staying there < 3 years to get Silicon Valley cred then you could just take the loss and pay for the experience and sunshine but if saving for college or anything else is important to you, then I’d think twice. CA taxes are sky high as is the real estate. (If you’re looking at rentals, make sure you map out its location to CalTrain — super loud. The townhouses and homes near it are priced accordingly.)

Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much for your valuable information!
Regarding your points:
2) a) Yes I overlooked that important aspect. My kids are AAP as well. So there's no equivalent program in the SV public school system?
b) So in the most high-income parts of SV, is the public school system education quality good enough for the money (like those areas you mentioned)? Or is FCPS far better regardless? (I was looking at metrics like greatschools which show they are equivalent but I don't trust these numbers much)
3)Regarding education policy:
a)When you say it is not politically charged, is it maybe because there is no resistance from conservative families because they are a tiny minority and fear social pressure or retaliation?
b)I know about the bad story on closed schools, I assume pandemic is over and they won't close again
4+5)Would a private school be viable to get better education quality and get rid of liberal politics if living in a cheaper area (as long as it is safe)?

Thanks again!

[Anonymous]

OP, you've got 3 pages of people telling you not to move to CA.

1. The money will not go as far as you think.
2. The public schools are not good, even in wealthy areas. Great Schools is relative within a state, so a school that is a "9" in CA would not be a "9" here.
3. You are looking for a community that hates the things you hate but doesn't hate you: you aren't going to find it there.

[Anonymous]

On private schools: Private schools in the area are generally harder to get into than the DC area (fewer slots, more competition), except perhaps for smaller parochial schools. They are also more expensive. On the plus side, they are better at STEM than DC area schools in general. They will also have little to no patience for requests to remove rainbow flags if there are any, and odds are high there will be the occasional rainbow flag in private school classrooms (except for small parochial schools). Actually, making a fuss about rainbow flags will probably get you quickly counseled out at the good private schools, if you even make it past the admissions process. They won’t want to keep someone they view as a time waster, and there is a line out the door for admissions. There are lots of conservatives at Silicon Valley private schools but they are libertarian leaning, not social conservatives.

Silicon Valley private schools are more like New York than DC. There is more money, more competition, and more rigor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, you've got 3 pages of people telling you not to move to CA.

1. The money will not go as far as you think.
2. The public schools are not good, even in wealthy areas. Great Schools is relative within a state, so a school that is a "9" in CA would not be a "9" here.
3. You are looking for a community that hates the things you hate but doesn't hate you: you aren't going to find it there.

Honestly, I think OP should move and try it. Let him learn the hard way. He seems easily triggered so I doubt he’ll listen to the chorus of posters here

[Anonymous]

Personally I am kind of shocked to learn that principals in Fairfax VA would listen to a parent demanding the removal of a rainbow flag from a classroom. I would have thought they’d just laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for your valuable information!
Regarding your points:
2) a) Yes I overlooked that important aspect. My kids are AAP as well. So there's no equivalent program in the SV public school system?
b) So in the most high-income parts of SV, is the public school system education quality good enough for the money (like those areas you mentioned)? Or is FCPS far better regardless? (I was looking at metrics like greatschools which show they are equivalent but I don't trust these numbers much)
3)Regarding education policy:
a)When you say it is not politically charged, is it maybe because there is no resistance from conservative families because they are a tiny minority and fear social pressure or retaliation?
b)I know about the bad story on closed schools, I assume pandemic is over and they won't close again
4+5)Would a private school be viable to get better education quality and get rid of liberal politics if living in a cheaper area (as long as it is safe)?

Thanks again!

I’m not that PP, but regarding politically charged, it’s because conservative in Silicon Valley usually means libertarian. Book banning from either the right or the left is deeply unpopular, for instance. So it’s not like the extremely fraught politics you get in VA school districts. Also, there is generally more diversity which means people get used to bumping into ideas that aren’t comfortable to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for your valuable information!
Regarding your points:
2) a) Yes I overlooked that important aspect. My kids are AAP as well. So there's no equivalent program in the SV public school system?
b) So in the most high-income parts of SV, is the public school system education quality good enough for the money (like those areas you mentioned)? Or is FCPS far better regardless? (I was looking at metrics like greatschools which show they are equivalent but I don't trust these numbers much)
3)Regarding education policy:
a)When you say it is not politically charged, is it maybe because there is no resistance from conservative families because they are a tiny minority and fear social pressure or retaliation?
b)I know about the bad story on closed schools, I assume pandemic is over and they won't close again
4+5)Would a private school be viable to get better education quality and get rid of liberal politics if living in a cheaper area (as long as it is safe)?

Thanks again!

You are ill informed and poor.

No AAP? I literally laughed at that.

Great Schools is a per state rating, you can't compare a CA 9 to VA 9; Virginia as a state ranks 10, CA ranks 40. https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/rankings/education/prek-12 So yeah, FCPS will generally be far better.

You hair trigger conservative politics will ostracize you from probably everyone for 200 miles, unless you trek down to Fresno.

Private school? you are hilarious. You are so woefully underpaid, that will not be an option. I guess maybe you could qualify for financial aid?

This is such a dumb move for so many reasons, but I almost want you to make it because you are such a PITA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I am kind of shocked to learn that principals in Fairfax VA would listen to a parent demanding the removal of a rainbow flag from a classroom. I would have thought they’d just laugh.

OP gave it as an example of something OP would like to do, but said it has not actually come up in real life. I don't know what a principal would do here, but my guess is that OP's kids are already getting plenty of exposure to liberal ideas from their friends and classmates in FCPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, you've got 3 pages of people telling you not to move to CA.

1. The money will not go as far as you think.
2. The public schools are not good, even in wealthy areas. Great Schools is relative within a state, so a school that is a "9" in CA would not be a "9" here.
3. You are looking for a community that hates the things you hate but doesn't hate you: you aren't going to find it there.

Anonymous wrote:On private schools: Private schools in the area are generally harder to get into than the DC area (fewer slots, more competition), except perhaps for smaller parochial schools. They are also more expensive. On the plus side, they are better at STEM than DC area schools in general. They will also have little to no patience for requests to remove rainbow flags if there are any, and odds are high there will be the occasional rainbow flag in private school classrooms (except for small parochial schools). Actually, making a fuss about rainbow flags will probably get you quickly counseled out at the good private schools, if you even make it past the admissions process. They won’t want to keep someone they view as a time waster, and there is a line out the door for admissions. There are lots of conservatives at Silicon Valley private schools but they are libertarian leaning, not social conservatives.

Silicon Valley private schools are more like New York than DC. There is more money, more competition, and more rigor.

Hmm ok.. Thank you both for your inputs. Definitely not good incentives for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I am kind of shocked to learn that principals in Fairfax VA would listen to a parent demanding the removal of a rainbow flag from a classroom. I would have thought they’d just laugh.

OP gave it as an example of something OP would like to do, but said it has not actually come up in real life. I don't know what a principal would do here, but my guess is that OP's kids are already getting plenty of exposure to liberal ideas from their friends and classmates in FCPS.

I think principals here in Fairfax know that if they allow rainbow and BLM flags, there are enough parents who would complain, so they try to keep a balance. Recently there was this privilege bingo thing exposed by a parent which had significant backlash. I'm not saying there is no liberal exposure here, but I guess it is nothing like schools in Bay area. From what you describe, I guess the privilege bingo would be acceptable there, and that alone is a good enough reason not to move there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There are many families just like yours in MV. I haven't heard of any teacher obligating asking of pronouns, but some kids probably offer them. The population is very diverse. This $1k obligatory donation PP is talking about is completely untrue. I do not think they say the pledge of allegiance in the classrooms but I think that has been true for many years afaik (like since the 90s). There aren't rainbow flags in classrooms by policy, but it is possible individual teachers may have one (I have no idea why you would be so triggered by that, though, and I'm doubting the resiliency of you and your kids with that comment).

I don't want to reply to that "resiliency" comment, but what I do want to know is if I get a teacher putting the rainbow flag besides the American flag in the classroom, will I be able to report this to the principal and have the flag taken down? At least here in Fairfax, things are somewhat moderate and we are generally ok with the public school system.
Again I don't want to discuss about my family's values and beliefs, we are who we are. I just don't want to get my kids into an ultra-progressive public school system which is not consistent with our values.

PP who suggested you go to the eastern and inland areas of the BA again. I'm not interested in arguing with you about your politics. I am an expert on California's political climate though and have written many papers and books on the state and on Silicon Valley, in particular. I have lived in the Bay Area and in DC for over three decades.

Based on what you just stated, the places where you would want to live in California will be mostly in the inland, north, and far southeast areas of the state. (Santa Cruz, which you suggested is literally the opposite of the kind of community you seek.) The southern portions of San Jose/Gilroy will be more in your price range, but they aren't especially safe areas and the politics there aren't as conservative as you would like. To the extent they are conservative, at least some portion of that conservatism is anti-immigrant, which would not really help you.

Also, FYI - you say you consider yourself a moderate conservative, but in California most moderate conservatives embrace LGBT rights. By California standards, you are not moderate. You are conservative, full stop. I'm not saying this to insult you, but to help you understand how to find what you want.

FWIW - There are very few places in the Bay Area where even the conservatives would freak out about the presence of a rainbow flag in a classroom. (Frankly, I think that your views aren't even as accepted as you might believe in Fairfax.) I can't think of a single community in the Bay Area where a parent could demand something like that - e.g., take down a rainbow flag - without it turning into a major fight that you would most likely lose.

That said, I think you can find communities here where the liberal politics aren't as "in your face," where the schools are excellent, and where immigrants are welcome. For that, I repeat my recommendation to go through the tunnel to the Lamorinda area (Orinda, Lafayette, Walnut Creek, Danville, etc.). The other place you could go would be outside Sacramento, but that's way too long for commute. You'd also find a similar fit in the Bakersfield/San Joaquin Valley, but that commute is also brutal.

The easy way to do this is to get out a map and look at the counties and cities where Trump won. Those places are where you will most likely find people with views similar to yours, though they may also be anti-immigrant, which is just something you'll have to navigate.

OP here. Thank you for your reply. Yes I don't want to end up in an unsafe, anti-immigrant community. But at the same time, I don't want to end up in a school with the liberal politics "in my kids face" as you stated. And I consider the rainbow flag part of it, as well as BLM etc. I don't care about lgbt rights, I just don't want my kids brainwashed with these stuff.
Not sure about if such area exists there. But all I care is about schools. And I don't want to be part of a "culture war", I just want a quiet and safe life for me and my family.

A 1hr commute would be acceptable for me, as I will be only going to SV twice per week or so. I've been to Sacramento and it's a very nice city, although I'm not sure if it satisfies my standards..

Some others have responded to our exchange, but I'm the pp you were responding too. It sounds like what you really don't want is to be part of the extremely polarized and contentious debates occurring across the United States - often in school board meetings - at this moment in history. These fierce debates, whether they're about BLM, banning books, masks or whatever, are everywhere right now. Your comments suggest, though you may not perhaps intend this, that you perceive these contentious fights to be happening primarily in liberal communities, like that of San Francisco. But that's just not true. Plenty of conservative communities are roiling too. You can't avoid the culture wars by avoiding liberals.

Whether you find your life experience peaceful or not is really going to be about the decisions you make, just as it is in Virginia. Don't engage if people try to pull you into some local battle about BLM or what books to ban this week. If you want a "quiet and safe life" then have one.

[Anonymous]

Idk about privilege bingo. I don’t think people would really care much. They might roll their eyes. School politics are less fraught than in VA, at least that’s my impression from California. My kids have never had a privilege bingo but I would not care if they did.

You likely will not get into any good private schools. Not because of being conservative, but because they are so competitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Some others have responded to our exchange, but I'm the pp you were responding too. It sounds like what you really don't want is to be part of the extremely polarized and contentious debates occurring across the United States - often in school board meetings - at this moment in history. These fierce debates, whether they're about BLM, banning books, masks or whatever, are everywhere right now. Your comments suggest, though you may not perhaps intend this, that you perceive these contentious fights to be happening primarily in liberal communities, like that of San Francisco. But that's just not true. Plenty of conservative communities are roiling too. You can't avoid the culture wars by avoiding liberals.

Whether you find your life experience peaceful or not is really going to be about the decisions you make, just as it is in Virginia. Don't engage if people try to pull you into some local battle about BLM or what books to ban this week. If you want a "quiet and safe life" then have one.

I'm not suggesting that this is happening only in liberal communities. I see it happening here in Fairfax, which I think it is considered "more moderate" compared to SF Bay area. As an immigrant, I am staying out of these polarized debates. I consider my family having a "quiet and safe life" here in Fairfax.

However, my family has certain conservative values, and I don't want to be part of a community where my values are not respected (or ostracize me to Fresno as someone above wrote). Having my kids being taught that BLM and that they should tell their pronouns, would mean that I would have to tell them that ALM and never say their pronouns, and I don't want to go into this slippery slope. And I think Fairfax schools still maintain some balance with respect to these issues.

I was also reading some other posts here in this Bay Area subforum, about prop 13, underfunded schools, SF Bay not being much family-friendly etc. so overall I'm getting convinced that moving there is not a good thing for me and my family, especially since a $200K - $250K income there is considered low, and as many have said, public education quality is much lower than NoVA. Would like to hear a positive argument for me moving there though!

Anonymous wrote:Idk about privilege bingo. I don’t think people would really care much. They might roll their eyes. School politics are less fraught than in VA, at least that’s my impression from California. My kids have never had a privilege bingo but I would not care if they did.

You likely will not get into any good private schools. Not because of being conservative, but because they are so competitive.

This is the "privilege bingo" story I was talking about
https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/northern-virginia/privilege-bingo-in-fairfax-co-class-meets-controversy-after-it-includes-being-a-military-kid/2942443/
FCPS apologized for this.
Do you think this would be acceptable in SV schools? Or maybe just nobody would raise an issue in the first place because such things are considered "normal" to be taught there?

[Anonymous]

OP should definitely go. She will learn a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There are many families just like yours in MV. I haven't heard of any teacher obligating asking of pronouns, but some kids probably offer them. The population is very diverse. This $1k obligatory donation PP is talking about is completely untrue. I do not think they say the pledge of allegiance in the classrooms but I think that has been true for many years afaik (like since the 90s). There aren't rainbow flags in classrooms by policy, but it is possible individual teachers may have one (I have no idea why you would be so triggered by that, though, and I'm doubting the resiliency of you and your kids with that comment).

I don't want to reply to that "resiliency" comment, but what I do want to know is if I get a teacher putting the rainbow flag besides the American flag in the classroom, will I be able to report this to the principal and have the flag taken down? At least here in Fairfax, things are somewhat moderate and we are generally ok with the public school system.
Again I don't want to discuss about my family's values and beliefs, we are who we are. I just don't want to get my kids into an ultra-progressive public school system which is not consistent with our values.

What? Of course not.

Clearly you need to live somewhere much cheaper and pay for religious school.