Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you just had something like a death in the family what’s wrong with humoring the waiter?

Right? What a nasty grinch. Weird person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former server here. It is completely fine to kindly say, "We are not up for small talk today" or "We'd prefer to just talk amongst ourselves" A good waiter will read the table and will not need to be told. A mediocre but well-intentioned waiter will take this at face value and be grateful for the guidance. A bad waiter might be miffed, but will leave you alone.

I used to have a cafe and this is the correct answer.