Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?

[Anonymous]

I once (truthfully) said “this is my first meal out with my husband in over six months” and they took the hint and gave us lots of space. Something like “it’s rare for us to get to catch up, we’d appreciate more privacy, please” seems reasonable.

[Anonymous]

This just sounds like a bad waiter. But just say thank you and then stop looking at him/her and start talking to each other or eating.

[Anonymous]

Youre rude, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one that thinks Covid-19 is a valid concern for avoiding conversation? Especially if you're not on top of other tables at a restaurant, the only random person you're in immediate contact with is the server. I can't stand prodding servers, just take our order and we'll give you 20%. Leave us the hell alone, please.

If you are this way, then you are this way. I think it's a bit odd to expect someone in the service industry to not try and have a service mentality but fine. However, yes, you are the only one trying to use Covid as an excuse. If you go to a restaurant, you are deciding to risk Covid. You are sharing air with everyone else eating for 45 minutes. The masked server is not the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say this politely and in an apologetic tone (as opposed to an annoyed tone). It will convey the meaning and not annoy the server.

"Excuse me, do you mind? We came here to have some private conversation. Thanks."

That seems kinda rude to me. Just suck it up and be nice to the server. Most won't have time to talk too long to you anyway. Just be a decent human being. Eesh.

Yeah, “do you mind” is rude and for snobs. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Larry David has discovered DCUM!

Wear a Maya hat and they won't take to you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Larry David has discovered DCUM!

Wear a MAGA hat and they won't talk to you

[Anonymous]

Move to Europe if you don’t want the server to say a word to you. But here, in the USA, you are nice and polite to them.

[Anonymous]

"Bring the check with the food. We are happy to pay now and you can attend to your other tables."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way to actually say this without being rude.

Be upfront about the tip but tell them it is based on stfu and making themselves as invisible as possible.

I do that — I am upfront and tell waitstaff my criteria for getting a good tip in a professional manner.

They oblige.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Move to Europe if you don’t want the server to say a word to you. But here, in the USA, you are nice and polite to them.

Another bonus about Europe.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think there is a way to say it out loud without being rude. You need to up your non-verbal cues (or just get over the fact that the waiter will think you are rude.)

[Anonymous]

“Thanks, we’ll let you know if we need anything.”

[Anonymous]

I worked for years as a server/bartender, and the fact is that 95% of restaurant goers WANT that inane chit-chat. An emotionally intelligent server should get the picture if you’re brief in your responses and just keep it about business. But there’s no guarantee.

And I understand, even despite my time in the restaurant industry I really don’t enjoy the chit-chat, but it’s hard to disabuse yourself of the notion of needing to engage in this way when your tip is typically dependent upon being charming, chatty, and attentive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless the server is talking to you for many minutes at a time, why not be kind and have a brief conversation? It's the norm in the south. We always talk with our servers. I know their names, their kids' names, where their kids go to school, where their husband's work.... It's just part of being human. I really miss that when we are in DC/NOVA. I think that's one of the biggest negatives about living here. Everyone is always in a hurry. There is no time for kindness.

The COVID excuse is ridiculous. You chose to eat at a restaurant. You aren't that worried about COVID.

Oh hell no! I don’t give a crap about my server’s personal life and I don’t want to share mine. You’re at a restaurant to conduct a transaction- we pay money for you to bring us food. That’s it.