Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless the server is talking to you for many minutes at a time, why not be kind and have a brief conversation? It's the norm in the south. We always talk with our servers. I know their names, their kids' names, where their kids go to school, where their husband's work.... It's just part of being human. I really miss that when we are in DC/NOVA. I think that's one of the biggest negatives about living here. Everyone is always in a hurry. There is no time for kindness.

The COVID excuse is ridiculous. You chose to eat at a restaurant. You aren't that worried about COVID.

Oh hell no! I don’t give a crap about my server’s personal life and I don’t want to share mine. You’re at a restaurant to conduct a transaction- we pay money for you to bring us food. That’s it.

There's a bit of a weird, sick twist to it. Some people like to think they are special for "caring," for asking about the details of the server's life. They pride themselves on the identity of being "different" than most customers.

Can you develop real friendships with regulars over time? Sure. But please don't make them dance like monkeys the first time you meet them and call it kind. Read the room. They are at their job, and they don't know you, and you want to feel cool by knowing what their major is. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

I don't think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you just had something like a death in the family what’s wrong with humoring the waiter?

This.

OP, the nicer you are to the waiter, the bigger tip he'll give you.

That's how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have never had any issue with chatty waiters because of the way my DH orders. My DH is great in ordering food. In our favorite restaurants, he will order everything at the same time - appetizers, drinks, entrees, coffee and desserts, telling the waiter when he wants the different courses brought to the table. He will say something once entrees are brought to the table "Thank you, this looks really great. We are all set here and will appreciate if you can bring the check along with the desserts and coffee. If we need something else we will flag you."

They know us there. There is no small talk but the waiters are very attentive.

That seems kind of bossy.

No thats awesome and I wish more people were like this. This is how I order and Im the PP with 10 years of serving experience. The way most ordering systems are set up you can input by courses so you can put the whole order in, the kitchen has the whole order (really well run kitchens may even prep 2nd/3rd courses), and you just hit a button to have the next course made in the system. It makes timing easier, it also reduces the chance that you run out off food (especially specials or limited items). That is very similar to a prix fixe menu. The only drawback is if the server forgets to bump the next course but a server can forget to put in your order as well.

You can be kind and frank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you “grabbed” brunch, what did you do with it?

That's an idiom. Some people, even in this highly educated area, use idiomatic English.

BTW, is your refrigerator running?

Grab brunch out of a running refrigerator?

[Anonymous]

If you don’t want to interact with anyone, order delivery. If you’re going out to a restaurant, expect to make small talk with the wait staff. Your waiter is a person and it’s incredibly rude to expect someone to wait on you without saying a word.

[Anonymous]

Not wanting to talk to them because of covid is a bs excuse.

You could tell them when you sit down that you will be having a meeting and will call the waiter over when you’re ready to order and when you need help. As with everything in life, the way you deliver it on the tone is what will dictate whether you sound like a jerk or not.

[Anonymous]

Many waiters are pushy and creepy about questions and think it's their duty to get a table to open up to them. I have no interest in pretending I'm long-time friends with some random person full of tattoos and piercings who is serving us food. I really don't even want them coming by to check on how we like the food. It's annoying and pointless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you just had something like a death in the family what’s wrong with humoring the waiter?

Covid

I mean...you're already there at the restaurant. You already made the decision Covid was not keeping you away. I can get not wanting to be chatty but it's weird in the context of Covid the server chatting is somehow the big Covid health risk you cannot take, but going to a restaurant was fine.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have never had any issue with chatty waiters because of the way my DH orders. My DH is great in ordering food. In our favorite restaurants, he will order everything at the same time - appetizers, drinks, entrees, coffee and desserts, telling the waiter when he wants the different courses brought to the table. He will say something once entrees are brought to the table "Thank you, this looks really great. We are all set here and will appreciate if you can bring the check along with the desserts and coffee. If we need something else we will flag you."

They know us there. There is no small talk but the waiters are very attentive.

That seems kind of bossy.

No thats awesome and I wish more people were like this. This is how I order and Im the PP with 10 years of serving experience. The way most ordering systems are set up you can input by courses so you can put the whole order in, the kitchen has the whole order (really well run kitchens may even prep 2nd/3rd courses), and you just hit a button to have the next course made in the system. It makes timing easier, it also reduces the chance that you run out off food (especially specials or limited items). That is very similar to a prix fixe menu. The only drawback is if the server forgets to bump the next course but a server can forget to put in your order as well.

You can be kind and frank.

+ 1
It benefits the customer, the waiters and the establishment. Efficiency all around.

[Anonymous]

This is how I feel about taxi/Uber drivers. Please don't talk to me.

[Anonymous]

Former server here. It is completely fine to kindly say, "We are not up for small talk today" or "We'd prefer to just talk amongst ourselves" A good waiter will read the table and will not need to be told. A mediocre but well-intentioned waiter will take this at face value and be grateful for the guidance. A bad waiter might be miffed, but will leave you alone.

[Anonymous]

I feel this way at the nail salon. I want to stare into the abyss and enjoy peace for an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you just had something like a death in the family what’s wrong with humoring the waiter?

This.

OP, the nicer you are to the waiter, the bigger tip he'll give you.

That's how it works.

[Anonymous]

Wendy’s drive-thru next time!