Threatened estrangement/emotional blackmail

[Anonymous]

My DIL regularly threatens to cut off access to her kids.. I understand she is stressed but I'm available any time she needs a sitter, without fail. Anytime we have the slightest disagreement this comes up. I'd happily take her up on it except my grandkids would suffer. I'm so sick of her diva drama queen behavior.

[Anonymous]

Believe it or not, your grandkids will be fine without you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DIL regularly threatens to cut off access to her kids.. I understand she is stressed but I'm available any time she needs a sitter, without fail. Anytime we have the slightest disagreement this comes up. I'd happily take her up on it except my grandkids would suffer. I'm so sick of her diva drama queen behavior.

Stop doing this. Tell her you'll deal with her when she wants to be an adult. She will come back because she needs the childcare (where is your son??) and you can do it again when it happens, and it will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DIL regularly threatens to cut off access to her kids.. I understand she is stressed but I'm available any time she needs a sitter, without fail. Anytime we have the slightest disagreement this comes up. I'd happily take her up on it except my grandkids would suffer. I'm so sick of her diva drama queen behavior.

Stop doing this. Tell her you'll deal with her when she wants to be an adult. She will come back because she needs the childcare (where is your son??) and you can do it again when it happens, and it will.

What makes you think she needs OP for childcare?

[Anonymous]

What are you saying to her that prompts her response of taking the children away? We need more context.

[Anonymous]

"Larla, anytime we have the slightest disagreement, you threaten to cut off access to the children. I'd like you to take those threats off the table. We can disagree without bringing the kids into it."

[Anonymous]

Hello, where is THE SON YOU RAISED in all of this?

Oh, let me guess, he's perfect, you don't want to bother him, and watching the kids/maintaining family relationships is not his responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Someone posted this here the other day, and I swear, it’s textbook.

http://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html

[Anonymous]

What are the disagreements? Can you give a couple examples for context?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone posted this here the other day, and I swear, it’s textbook.

http://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html

I have no sides in this thread but that link is a load of tripe. Post again when you have a legitimate resource to share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone posted this here the other day, and I swear, it’s textbook.

http://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html

I saw that earlier posting, too. Great discussion, very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are the disagreements? Can you give a couple examples for context?

+1

[Anonymous]

You are not the parent. Repeat this for as long as it takes to sink in.

This means that even if the parents are unreasonable, you still don't get to see your grandkids just because you feel you should. There are no grandparent rights.

It may be sad, but it's the truth.

[Anonymous]

What kinds of disagreements are you having?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone posted this here the other day, and I swear, it’s textbook.

http://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html

I have no sides in this thread but that link is a load of tripe. Post again when you have a legitimate resource to share.

And yet, so far this thread is playing out exactly as the link would predict.