SIL (age 46) starting to date man who's age 66 -- thoughts?

[Anonymous]

My SIL (age 46) is pretty, smart, funny, and has a good professional job. She has 4 children, and has been divorced for 3 years.

She has recently started to date a great guy (whom she met through her professional circles). Everything about him is great except his age -- 66 years old.

I'm sure the guy absolutely loves having a girlfriend who's 20 years younger. I'm not sure what the advantage is for my SIL (other than not being alone, which didn't really bother her). She asked my advice, and I let her know I'm just happy if she'd happy, but that a guy so much older might be starting to slow down pretty soon, and that they are just at different stages in life. I also reminded her that she has so much to offer, and that tons of guys in their 40's and 50's would be interested in her. (At her age, she could perhaps do something like eHarmony.)

Any thoughts or input welcome.

[Anonymous]

My thought: MYOB.

[Anonymous]

MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL (age 46) is pretty, smart, funny, and has a good professional job. She has 4 children, and has been divorced for 3 years.

She has recently started to date a great guy (whom she met through her professional circles). Everything about him is great except his age -- 66 years old.

I'm sure the guy absolutely loves having a girlfriend who's 20 years younger. I'm not sure what the advantage is for my SIL (other than not being alone, which didn't really bother her). She asked my advice, and I let her know I'm just happy if she'd happy, but that a guy so much older might be starting to slow down pretty soon, and that they are just at different stages in life. I also reminded her that she has so much to offer, and that tons of guys in their 40's and 50's would be interested in her. (At her age, she could perhaps do something like eHarmony.)

Any thoughts or input welcome.

Are you single? Because you don't sound it. I'm single and a couple years older than your SIL and would love to meet a great 66yo man. Men in their 40s, for the most part, are not interested in a 46yo. She has met a great guy, why the heck would she mess around with eHarmony? Have you been on a dating site? I have. She should stick with the great guy she is dating.

[Anonymous]

My husband turned 64 last week. I’m younger than your SIL. This is the second marriage for us both. We were both done with having kids. He had kids late and I had mine relatively young so our kids are only 10 years apart. He plays a sport several hours a week, still works half time, we have sex 3+ times per week. I know one day he will begin acting old. And I’ll likely end up taking care of him. But I chose to grab happiness and have had the best decade of my life so far with him.

So MYOB everyone deserves to be happy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: tons of guys in their 40's and 50's would be interested in her. (At her age, she could perhaps do something like eHarmony.)

No, they want women in their 20s and 30s. In other words, 20 years younger than them, just like the 66 year old guy wants.

Frankly, 46 is not all that great of a deal for him. Maybe it's the best he can get, but I'm sure he'd prefer a woman in her 20s or 30s too.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for butting out. Tons of guys in their 40s and 50s want to date women much women than you SIL. There are some who are ok dating women closer to their own age but they seem to be hard to find. A good friend of mine can only find older men or much younger men looking for a sugar mama.

Be happy your SIL has found someone nice, if he is.

[Anonymous]

As someone in their 60s I can tell you, there's 66, and then there's 66! How about let your sister live her own life?

[Anonymous]

You're sister is smart enough to weigh the pros and cons so it's her decision. Odds are pretty good that he is a "young" 66 otherwise she would never have dated him. Would 66 be my first choice is I was 46? No, but a great guy could change my mind!

[Anonymous]

My Dad is a 68 year old widower with the looks and energy of someone 10-15 years younger. I have a few older single GF's in their late 40's who would go out with him in a second if he wasn't already dating someone. I'm 34 and when I'm out with him alone people think I'm his date!

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to vote here, but point out the OP said SIL ASKED HER ADVICE.

I'm a MYOB person, but you don't say that to someone who has BEEN ASKED for advice.

Carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband turned 64 last week. I’m younger than your SIL. This is the second marriage for us both. We were both done with having kids. He had kids late and I had mine relatively young so our kids are only 10 years apart. He plays a sport several hours a week, still works half time, we have sex 3+ times per week. I know one day he will begin acting old. And I’ll likely end up taking care of him. But I chose to grab happiness and have had the best decade of my life so far with him.

So MYOB everyone deserves to be happy

Well said.
I’m happy for you both.

[Anonymous]

DCUM can be a tough crowd!

OP, you were asked for your advice. Your SIL must value your opinion. Good for you.

I dated someone 24 years older for a while (and then married someone 12 years older) so I have been to this movie. "Helpful" friends and family will opine on age, but the key thing isn't the age difference, but a slightly more complicated equation: the ratio of likely "good" years out of likely total years together.

There are young 66 year olds and old 45 year olds, so those raw #s don't mean much. The thing to understand is that there's young old, mid old, and old old. Young-old can be active, attractive, well traveled, sexually active. In fact it can be a lot more fun than earlier stages because you have more security, confidence, and self-acceptance - and the time to enjoy them. Old-old, on the other hand, is not for sissies.

Obviously no one knows what the future holds. But you can take a good guess by looking at someone's habits, attitude, and genes.

[Anonymous]

Is he rich?
If Yes, keep
If No, run

[Anonymous]

MONEY!