Women do you look down on women who didn't marry good providers?

[Anonymous]

Also how much should a man earn in order to be considered a "good provider?"

100k?150k+?

[Anonymous]

No, but I do have an instinctual aversion to women who talk about men as "providers."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but I do have an instinctual aversion to women who talk about men as "providers."

Yup, this.

[Anonymous]

No but I am equally judgmental about any adult that doesn't provide/pulltheir weight for their family.

[Anonymous]

Only if they whine about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but I do have an instinctual aversion to women who talk about men as "providers."

Yup, this.

Same. My good friend's husband is a teacher. He loves what he does and is great at it. He is a supportive and involved husband and father. He's stable, present, kind, funny, smart, etc. They're great together. I don't look down on him at ALL because of how much he earns. He earns an honest living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but I do have an instinctual aversion to women who talk about men as "providers."

Yup, this.

Same. My good friend's husband is a teacher. He loves what he does and is great at it. He is a supportive and involved husband and father. He's stable, present, kind, funny, smart, etc. They're great together. I don't look down on him at ALL because of how much he earns. He earns an honest living.

Good luck to him.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you look up to women who married good "providers?" Are you wishing that you too can land Joe Moneybags if you just work hard at it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No but I am equally judgmental about any adult that doesn't provide/pulltheir weight for their family.

^This. I have friends who married guys who just can't get their acts together and I do judge because my friends work crazy hard to keep the family afloat while the men just flounder. Best example - husband is 38 and a pizza delivery guy because he keeps getting fired from other jobs because of "authority issues" (last three firings were from talking back to a boss, timeliness, not listening resulting in injury of coworker). He also is the same way at home - he doesn't clean or contribute really but instead sits home and plays video games during the day while making messes. She wants kids but worries they won't be able to afford them given he can't hold a job so they have yet to have children. I really don't understand this relationship.

Now if you are defining provider by money, then no I don't have a problem with a man making less money than a woman if he is working and contributing. My bff's husband works as a teacher - it is not a get rich profession, but he works hard, loves it, and makes a difference in society. He is a wonderful husband and steps up around the house including doing most of the cleaning (he doesn't mind it and my friend hates it - so she does yard work as she likes that more - a traditional role reverse you'd call it). I have no judgement there.

I think I judge work ethic. Does this person work hard and also contribute to the household? That's what I judge.

[Anonymous]

Haven’t we don’t this here, with the exact same verbiage?

I married a good “provider”, but mostly I became a good “provider” for myself.

I think women obsessed with providers are vapid creatures not worth the tilt of my watch to tell them the time of day. You couldn’t offer me all the days in their private pool or country club to convince me their lives are somehow better spent.

[Anonymous]

Nope, I look down on women who deliberately do exactly nothing for 10-30 years and then start sobbing in divorce court when they realize the cash grab is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No but I am equally judgmental about any adult that doesn't provide/pulltheir weight for their family.

This. I understand that there can be exceptionally hard circumstances like adhd, mental illness, or institutional racism, but there’s a lot of lazy, privileged people of both sexes. A woman once told me she just wasn’t “made to work”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but I do have an instinctual aversion to women who talk about men as "providers."

Yep, both need to be providers in this area.

I look down on gold diggers.

[Anonymous]

Um, this language doesn't enter my thinking at all.

I hang around w/ financially responsible adults and very much value and require that in my partner. But I carry my own weight financially. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but I do have an instinctual aversion to women who talk about men as "providers."

Same. It's gross.