Women do you look down on women who didn't marry good providers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I look down on women who look at their husbands as providers.

Why? Men are unable to bear children and generally expect women to do the lion's share of child care. A man who wants a family and expects to do less than 50 percent of the care should be a good provider.

Your expectations are about three decades stale.
Get out more and see what dads are doing nowadays with their kids and at home.

Women who denigrate the value of child rearing and home keeping are not advancing women's rights, quite the contrary. Again, I worked the whole time my kids were young. My husband helped a lot. We had a housekeeper twice a week. It was still stressful beyond belief. This site is constantly visited by overstressed young mothers who are thinking of divorce because their husbands don't help at home or with kids.

Yep.

It is absolutely ridiculous that in this day and age, a smart woman cannot see the value of child rearing and home keeping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I look down on women who look at their husbands as providers.

Why? Men are unable to bear children and generally expect women to do the lion's share of child care. A man who wants a family and expects to do less than 50 percent of the care should be a good provider.

Your expectations are about three decades stale.
Get out more and see what dads are doing nowadays with their kids and at home.

Women who denigrate the value of child rearing and home keeping are not advancing women's rights, quite the contrary. Again, I worked the whole time my kids were young. My husband helped a lot. We had a housekeeper twice a week. It was still stressful beyond belief. This site is constantly visited by overstressed young mothers who are thinking of divorce because their husbands don't help at home or with kids.

Yep.

It is absolutely ridiculous that in this day and age, a smart woman cannot see the value of child rearing and home keeping.

sounds like a cultural and societal problem then.
are people's jobs so inflexible that a father or mother cannot run a family well while working? are others so nasty that they try to make their competitive advantage that they will inflexibly work longer than others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also how much should a man earn in order to be considered a "good provider?"

100k?150k+?

Hahahaha no, $500K+ is table stakes in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not marry multiple men, and aggregate their incomes just so you can cruise the Caribbean?

I like this idea. I could have a cute one for arm candy, a smart one to sire the kids, an orally talented one to entertain me, a stereotypically gay (or just European) one to dress me... also, can I swap them out seasonally. Come winter, I will want a hairy bear, but that’s too warm most of the year.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I admire men and women intellectually. Going to go with changing diapers, going to the library and successful meal planning are just parenting traits.

Even if the SAH parent launches Einstein, I judge that your life’s work was raising a kid. So I judge in the opposite direction, women who make it their life’s work to cowtow to male ambition.

I ran from every man who thought I neeeded a plan.

I look down on women who sought out a male provider. Ick!

[Anonymous]

I also would run away from anyone who talks about men as providers.

But if I know a woman who is the breadwinner and her husband has taken a step back or is home with the kids, I think she's pretty cool and her DH is pretty cool too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I look down on women who look at their husbands as providers.

Why? Men are unable to bear children and generally expect women to do the lion's share of child care. A man who wants a family and expects to do less than 50 percent of the care should be a good provider.

Your expectations are about three decades stale.
Get out more and see what dads are doing nowadays with their kids and at home.

Women who denigrate the value of child rearing and home keeping are not advancing women's rights, quite the contrary. Again, I worked the whole time my kids were young. My husband helped a lot. We had a housekeeper twice a week. It was still stressful beyond belief. This site is constantly visited by overstressed young mothers who are thinking of divorce because their husbands don't help at home or with kids.

Yep.

It is absolutely ridiculous that in this day and age, a smart woman cannot see the value of child rearing and home keeping.

sounds like a cultural and societal problem then.
are people's jobs so inflexible that a father or mother cannot run a family well while working? are others so nasty that they try to make their competitive advantage that they will inflexibly work longer than others.

I think the idea is to see value in both child rearing and home keeping and value in working out of the house and then choosing what works best given your needs, strengths, weaknesses, etc. One is not better than the other, and they are equally important in most cases(if you have mucho family money and see your little kids on the weekends only because you have to work, I am judging you)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I look down on women who look at their husbands as providers.

Why? Men are unable to bear children and generally expect women to do the lion's share of child care. A man who wants a family and expects to do less than 50 percent of the care should be a good provider.

Your expectations are about three decades stale.
Get out more and see what dads are doing nowadays with their kids and at home.

Women who denigrate the value of child rearing and home keeping are not advancing women's rights, quite the contrary. Again, I worked the whole time my kids were young. My husband helped a lot. We had a housekeeper twice a week. It was still stressful beyond belief. This site is constantly visited by overstressed young mothers who are thinking of divorce because their husbands don't help at home or with kids.

I sort of agree with what the person said initially. If you both want children, but only one of you is willing to do all the work around childcare, it certainly wouldn't be my choice to be both the default parent and working FT. That’s basically the equavalent of having two jobs. So I could see in that scenario saying the guy has to make enough so my only job is taking care of the house and kids and his is earning her income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but I do have an instinctual aversion to women who talk about men as "providers."

Yup, this.

Same.

I feel sorry for women who marry men that don’t seem to have redeeming personal qualities like kindness, humor, hardworking, etc.

and I do hope the men they marry are close to their intellectual equals.

But money? Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also how much should a man earn in order to be considered a "good provider?"

100k?150k+?

Sounds like he's fine. Life is long. He may make more later.

[Anonymous]

The market does place value in child rearing vs. another career. If equal, raise your sons to be SAHDs. Ha! We all know it’s not equal.

When career ambition between a heterosexual couple gets heated, women lose. Men are great at basically stating there is no way in hell I’m giving up my career to SAH most of the time.

Mommy guilt and sexism guilts women into giving up independence. You need to fly to Beijing for 2 weeks. I need to go to SFO for 4 days, man makes more. Guess I’ll quit my job. The nanny couldn’t poissibly raise our kids better than we could, and since you aren’t interested and make more, I guess I’m left holding the bag.

[Anonymous]

No. I look down on women who married jerks or are jerks themselves.