All of our friends are leaving DC

[Anonymous]

DH and I have a really great circle of friends in DC - a mix of college friends, former colleagues, and two couples we met in a baby class that we clicked with immediately. Because we don’t have family close by, some of them have become our family. We spend holidays together, have impromptu weekend get together, etc. At this point we all have kids, some close in age, some not.

The problem is that we decided we are lifers in DC and many of the others have moved away over the past year, often as their kids start kindergarten or preschool. And I don’t mean moving from Adam’s Morgan to Bethesda, it’s more like the Philly or NJ suburbs or even further.

It feels like we are losing this community we have worked so hard to build and it’s incredibly sad, especially since our families are so far away. Our oldest started kindergarten this past fall and we were really hoping to make some great new friends and so far no such luck. Our son has made two good friends in particular but neither of the parents have made any effort for us grown ups to be friends.

Curious if anyone else has experienced this and how things have turned out. Were you able to make new close friends or things just are what they are now?

[Anonymous]

This is a very transient area. It's just part of life. Sorry, OP. It's hard when good friends move.

[Anonymous]

They are making wise decisions, financially.

[Anonymous]

Some will return. They always do.

[Anonymous]

It’s my dream to leave this hell hole. Go check out some other places and return back. Wages are still good elsewhere but cost of living is so much better. I’m only here until kids finish high school. Then it’s a place where people focus on living and not working all the time.

So wish them well. They won’t be back. Just like my friends who went to Minneapolis and have a boat on a lake. Or deep philly suburbs where their neighbors are super friendly and there are way better food options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s my dream to leave this hell hole. Go check out some other places and return back. Wages are still good elsewhere but cost of living is so much better. I’m only here until kids finish high school. Then it’s a place where people focus on living and not working all the time.

So wish them well. They won’t be back. Just like my friends who went to Minneapolis and have a boat on a lake. Or deep philly suburbs where their neighbors are super friendly and there are way better food options.

I should note I live in one of the supposedly best areas of DC. And I make good money. But I feel like I live “on campus” and during the work week the neighborhood is dead because everybody is working. I’d much rather be in a place where people have interests other than work and private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very transient area. It's just part of life. Sorry, OP. It's hard when good friends move.

Most of our friends from early jobs have left. THis is not a real American town. It is transient and mostly immigrants

[Anonymous]

Try to get involved in school activities that includes a lot of other parents. That's how you'll meet like minded people. When my children were young and we moved to a new area that's what I'd do and it always worked out but it does require making a real effort. I'm very outgoing which really helped.

[Anonymous]

OP, we have found this community in DC at my kids' school. It is not instant - it takes some time - especially if your kid joined in K and some of the other families have gotten to know each other as part of PK3 or PK4 cohorts, or have older children. A couple of suggestions: sign your kid up for whatever rec soccer team the school buddies play on; chat up other parents at birthday parties and see if any want to come over for a weekend playdate/dinner or meet up at the pool. Just starting school is a big transition time for all of you - it gets easier.

[Anonymous]

We're going through this now too, OP, except that we don't have kids yet. Most of our friends do and they're leaving so they can either afford a house and/or afford daycare for more than one kid. I get it, but it sucks!

[Anonymous]

This is one of the reasons native Washingtonians don’t go all out to befriend people who move here.

[Anonymous]

Only lawyers or lobbyists stay in dc, do you want to spend the rest of your life around lawyers? Or lobbyists? Normal people don’t. Add in the costs and easy to understand why most families leave DC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s my dream to leave this hell hole. Go check out some other places and return back. Wages are still good elsewhere but cost of living is so much better. I’m only here until kids finish high school. Then it’s a place where people focus on living and not working all the time.

So wish them well. They won’t be back. Just like my friends who went to Minneapolis and have a boat on a lake. Or deep philly suburbs where their neighbors are super friendly and there are way better food options.

I should note I live in one of the supposedly best areas of DC. And I make good money. But I feel like I live “on campus” and during the work week the neighborhood is dead because everybody is working. I’d much rather be in a place where people have interests other than work and private school.

Nailed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some will return. They always do.

I did, TWICE. 10 months until I leave again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some will return. They always do.

I did, TWICE. 10 months until I leave again

Do you have kids? Isn't it disruptive to them to keep moving away and returning?