All of our friends are leaving DC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have a really great circle of friends in DC - a mix of college friends, former colleagues, and two couples we met in a baby class that we clicked with immediately. Because we don’t have family close by, some of them have become our family. We spend holidays together, have impromptu weekend get together, etc. At this point we all have kids, some close in age, some not.

The problem is that we decided we are lifers in DC and many of the others have moved away over the past year, often as their kids start kindergarten or preschool. And I don’t mean moving from Adam’s Morgan to Bethesda, it’s more like the Philly or NJ suburbs or even further.

It feels like we are losing this community we have worked so hard to build and it’s incredibly sad, especially since our families are so far away. Our oldest started kindergarten this past fall and we were really hoping to make some great new friends and so far no such luck. Our son has made two good friends in particular but neither of the parents have made any effort for us grown ups to be friends.

Curious if anyone else has experienced this and how things have turned out. Were you able to make new close friends or things just are what they are now?

Yeah, DC is good for post-college but most people leave after that phase. Get married, have kids, want bigger house with yard, privacy, etc. Good schools. Typical progression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I should note I live in one of the supposedly best areas of DC. And I make good money. But I feel like I live “on campus” and during the work week the neighborhood is dead because everybody is working. I’d much rather be in a place where people have interests other than work and private school.

Which neighborhood? Lemme guess...WOTP.

My northern Columbia Heights 'hood doesn't feel this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We spent a year in Richmond and it was so easy to do everything. We had to drive out to short pump for a lot of the big box type stores and Trader Joe's but even though it was 10-15 miles it was still quicker and easier than going two miles here most days. They have good restaurants and decent museums with easy and free parking. Wages are lower though so we couldn't stay. I was sad to leave

Free parking? Wow, what an attraction!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have a really great circle of friends in DC - a mix of college friends, former colleagues, and two couples we met in a baby class that we clicked with immediately. Because we don’t have family close by, some of them have become our family. We spend holidays together, have impromptu weekend get together, etc. At this point we all have kids, some close in age, some not.

The problem is that we decided we are lifers in DC and many of the others have moved away over the past year, often as their kids start kindergarten or preschool. And I don’t mean moving from Adam’s Morgan to Bethesda, it’s more like the Philly or NJ suburbs or even further.

It feels like we are losing this community we have worked so hard to build and it’s incredibly sad, especially since our families are so far away. Our oldest started kindergarten this past fall and we were really hoping to make some great new friends and so far no such luck. Our son has made two good friends in particular but neither of the parents have made any effort for us grown ups to be friends.

Curious if anyone else has experienced this and how things have turned out. Were you able to make new close friends or things just are what they are now?

Yeah, DC is good for post-college but most people leave after that phase. Get married, have kids, want bigger house with yard, privacy, etc. Good schools. Typical progression.

+1 similar to SF area from where I'm from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We spent a year in Richmond and it was so easy to do everything. We had to drive out to short pump for a lot of the big box type stores and Trader Joe's but even though it was 10-15 miles it was still quicker and easier than going two miles here most days. They have good restaurants and decent museums with easy and free parking. Wages are lower though so we couldn't stay. I was sad to leave

Free parking? Wow, what an attraction!

DP.. it can be. Try hosting a get together with people who don't live near mass transit and have to drive to your DC rowhouse with no parking around. Or, going to a store with little kids and having to lug around lots of groceries. You've become accustomed to paying for every little thing. And I say this as someone who has lived in SF, were we paid for every little thing. We live in the burbs now, and everything is so much easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
DP.. it can be. Try hosting a get together with people who don't live near mass transit and have to drive to your DC rowhouse with no parking around. Or, going to a store with little kids and having to lug around lots of groceries. You've become accustomed to paying for every little thing. And I say this as someone who has lived in SF, were we paid for every little thing. We live in the burbs now, and everything is so much easier.

I could care less about catering to drivers. Take an uber or taxi or *gasp* the bus to get to my DC rowhouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very transient area. It's just part of life. Sorry, OP. It's hard when good friends move.

Most of our friends from early jobs have left. THis is not a real American town. It is transient and mostly immigrants

[Anonymous]

This happened to us as well, pre kids. While we have "parent" of kids friends, did not recover those who moved away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very transient area. It's just part of life. Sorry, OP. It's hard when good friends move.

Most of our friends from early jobs have left. THis is not a real American town. It is transient and mostly immigrants

.....from Ohio or the Midwest....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very transient area. It's just part of life. Sorry, OP. It's hard when good friends move.

Most of our friends from early jobs have left. THis is not a real American town. It is transient and mostly immigrants

I find this very offensive. You do realize there are three and four generations of DC residents. Are you saying they aren't real Americans? For shame!

+1. It is offensive. What makes a "real American town" anyway? There are many different multi-generational groups in DC. EOTR and parts of SE there are upwards of seven generations. White America = Real America FFS.

[Anonymous]

I sympathize but its tougher as a single parent (guy). Couples are wary I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very transient area. It's just part of life. Sorry, OP. It's hard when good friends move.

Most of our friends from early jobs have left. THis is not a real American town. It is transient and mostly immigrants

I find this very offensive. You do realize there are three and four generations of DC residents. Are you saying they aren't real Americans? For shame!

+1. It is offensive. What makes a "real American town" anyway? There are many different multi-generational groups in DC. EOTR and parts of SE there are upwards of seven generations. White America = Real America FFS.

A town where a plumber is a middle class job. Or an electrician or home health aide or carpenter, I grew up in a diverse neighborhood, Mclean is a enclave of wealth and privileged, no normal people need enter.

If you have the chance abandon DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only lawyers or lobbyists stay in dc, do you want to spend the rest of your life around lawyers? Or lobbyists? Normal people don’t. Add in the costs and easy to understand why most families leave DC

This is just false and stop saying it. I am raising my kids here and almost all of my friends are still here. I don’t find it any more transient than where I grew up (Midwest small city). It just depends on your circle- we are mostly educators/nonprofit types and feds. Not strivers.

I call BS. A family of “educators/non-profits” living happily in dc or inner suburbia is an just code for “our parents paid our down payment and currently pay for private school.”

A non profit is not a real job. It is a play world

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very transient area. It's just part of life. Sorry, OP. It's hard when good friends move.

Most of our friends from early jobs have left. THis is not a real American town. It is transient and mostly immigrants

I find this very offensive. You do realize there are three and four generations of DC residents. Are you saying they aren't real Americans? For shame!

+1. It is offensive. What makes a "real American town" anyway? There are many different multi-generational groups in DC. EOTR and parts of SE there are upwards of seven generations. White America = Real America FFS.

7 generations? Nope. Anacostia was mostly white 70 years ago, PG was mostly white 60 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only lawyers or lobbyists stay in dc, do you want to spend the rest of your life around lawyers? Or lobbyists? Normal people don’t. Add in the costs and easy to understand why most families leave DC

This is just false and stop saying it. I am raising my kids here and almost all of my friends are still here. I don’t find it any more transient than where I grew up (Midwest small city). It just depends on your circle- we are mostly educators/nonprofit types and feds. Not strivers.

I call BS. A family of “educators/non-profits” living happily in dc or inner suburbia is an just code for “our parents paid our down payment and currently pay for private school.”

A non profit is not a real job. It is a play world

I take offense to this. I have been a nonprofit employee my entire career and earned six figures, which would equal my role at a private company.