Is it ever ok to ask a host if you can bring uninvited people with you?
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Anonymous
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My friend is hosting a family cookout in a couple of weeks for a few families. This friend recently told me that one of the invited families asked if she could bring another uninvited family with her. My friend doesn't know this other family except in passing and does not want to say yes. But she feels that she will seem rude saying no. But I feel it was SO RUDE of the person who asked this in the first place. I don't think this is ever ok.
I think its okay if you want to politely decline an invite saying, "We would love to come but unfortunately already have plans with X." Then, if the host is so inclined, they could say, "oh bring them with you!" but that is totally different than calling up and asking directly. Thoughts? |
Anonymous
| I agree with you. I would suggest to your friend to tell them "sorry, no" politely. Then say, see you sometime soon. |
Anonymous
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Never ok. What is ok is to say when you get the invite is: "oh we have the x family staying with us that weekend. So sorry we won't be able to make it." If the host wants to include the other family they can say more the merrier bring them along.
Your friend's friend is very rude. She should say no if she doesn't want them there. |
Anonymous
| I’ve asked when my brother or stepson has visited from out of state. They are here once every six months for a week. I’m fine to miss the event, but I won’t leave them at home to attend. I’m not offended if the answer is no. |
Anonymous
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Only in exceptional circumstances, and only for people you know well, not as a casual "why not?", because it places the host in the position of having more mouths to feed (or seating issues if it's a formal dinner), or having to say no. |
Anonymous
| It depends how open and welcoming/direct the hosts are. I would ask a friend who likely wouldn't care or a friend who would have no problem saying no. |
Anonymous
| I'm glad I'm reading this. We were invited to a 4th of July party (My family of 5) and I was going to ask the host of I may bring my mom because she is staying with us for 6 weeks this summer. I was hesitating and now I will just delcine and do something with my mom. |
Anonymous
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I can see it in certain circumstances, but it’s still a bit rude.
Eg. You have family travelling from overseas staying with you, but their kids may get along with other kids at the event, the vent is a casual one, AND you know the host well. In general, the correct answer is “U fortunately, we can’t come, please think of us in the future, as we so enjoy your company!” |
Anonymous
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People do it all the time and I find it rude----unless it was something like out of town family, etc.
But, I still would most likely respond 'no' and say we had family coming into town---and then sometimes you get 'please bring them along'. I don't ever ask to bring local people, well really anyone. But, etiquette has gone out the window---thank you cards, RSVPs, this....society is falling apart. |
Anonymous
That's just so sad to me, I'd much rather have an additional guest that have someone decline. |
Anonymous
If I found out your mom was in town, I'd say 'please bring her along!'. I suggest you state the reason why you have to miss the party---Sorry, my mom will be in town then. Most people will say, if you don't have plans bring her with you. |
Anonymous
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The only time it is acceptable is when you have already RSVPed yes, then you have a single or couple of out of town guests that have announced they are coming or have arrived. Then you can ask as long as you give the host the option to decline. Usually, you only do this for visiting family.
"Hi Larla. My brother and SIL just called and asked if they could come and visit this weekend. I know we already RSVPed that we would come to your picnic. Can I bring them along or should we make other plans with them?" The host can tell always say that it would be better for your to make other plans and you can arrange to see her some other time. |
Anonymous
| OP here. The uninvited family is local, not out of town friends or family of the invited family. And its a whole family of 5, not 1-2 people like an out of town grandparent or something. |
Anonymous
I see nothing wrong with this! Its your mom and its one person. I would be totally fine with you asking. |
Anonymous
Would you rather have 5 additional guests? |