Friends seem jealous and not happy for me

[Anonymous]

I have always had a lot of great friends and work hard to maintain my friendships. I went through a horrific divorce a few years back and struggled considerably for a couple of years.

I have been dating great guy for 6 months who I am totally in love with. He does have quite a bit of money and I do enjoy quite a few perks because of this. A few people I can tell are truly happy for me but many, even my closest friends, seem really jealous. I do not throw it in their face AT ALL. If anything, I downplay things I do because of the negative vibes I get. I am feeling really bad about this today.

They were supportive when I was on the ground but not so much now that I am really happy.

[Anonymous]

Be kind to them as not everyone may be as lucky as you are.

[Anonymous]

Would you rather they hang on to your coat-tails and then ditch you at the first sign of trouble?

I suspect you're euphoric about the rebound and your friends may be a little concerned about the consequences.

[Anonymous]

A good measure of love is that those who love you are happy when you are happy, and they are sad when you are sad.

Sometimes people are in our lives for a reason, a season, or for a lifetime. These friends might have been in your life for the season that is ending. That is okay. Be kind anyway, but don't prolong unhealthy relationships.

You will know if it is a problem with you or with them, when you think about it -- at least, you will know what can be fixed,a nd what cannot. Change and enjoy it, or let it go. Upt to you.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure the problem is jealousy and not them having other concerns about this guy? In my experience, men with money tend to come with lots of problems.

[Anonymous]

Red flags... about you, not them.
They supported you through a terrible time in your life, OP.
Are you going to ditch them now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A good measure of love is that those who love you are happy when you are happy, and they are sad when you are sad.

Sometimes people are in our lives for a reason, a season, or for a lifetime. These friends might have been in your life for the season that is ending. That is okay. Be kind anyway, but don't prolong unhealthy relationships.

You will know if it is a problem with you or with them, when you think about it -- at least, you will know what can be fixed,a nd what cannot. Change and enjoy it, or let it go. Upt to you.

+1

Some people feel better only when they feel they are “above” you, OP. Time to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Red flags... about you, not them.
They supported you through a terrible time in your life, OP.
Are you going to ditch them now?

Of course I am not going to ditch them. I have been friends with some of them for over 20 years. I would be really upset to lose their friendship. When I am asked what I am doing over the 4th, I say nothing. I am really going to southern Spain. I have also supported them through a ton of crazy stuff so it isn't all one sided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have always had a lot of great friends and work hard to maintain my friendships. I went through a horrific divorce a few years back and struggled considerably for a couple of years.

I have been dating great guy for 6 months who I am totally in love with. He does have quite a bit of money and I do enjoy quite a few perks because of this. A few people I can tell are truly happy for me but many, even my closest friends, seem really jealous. I do not throw it in their face AT ALL. If anything, I downplay things I do because of the negative vibes I get. I am feeling really bad about this today.

They were supportive when I was on the ground but not so much now that I am really happy.

What behavior are they exhibiting that shows you they are jealous of you and especially because of money?

[Anonymous]

I bet your friends are pretty protective of you after watching you struggle. And they're probably more than a little concerned and skeptical that you're only 6 months in and are already all in and enjoying the "perks" of this guy's money... nothing is free and if you were my friend and jumped in headfirst after a bad divorce, I would worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet your friends are pretty protective of you after watching you struggle. And they're probably more than a little concerned and skeptical that you're only 6 months in and are already all in and enjoying the "perks" of this guy's money... nothing is free and if you were my friend and jumped in headfirst after a bad divorce, I would worry.

+1

I have noticed that women when they date men with money seem so comfortable using their money very early on in dating.

To others it comes across unpleasantly.

Its one thing to use your husband's money. But to be financially dependent on a boyfriend of 6 months...seems weird and thirsty.

[Anonymous]

Are they jealous or are they worried for you?

[Anonymous]

Maybe your version of downplaying 'perks' should be not mentioning them at all unless asked.

Hate people who constantly brag about their SO's money or accomplishments even when I have quite a bit of mine. Unless asked I don't offer details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet your friends are pretty protective of you after watching you struggle. And they're probably more than a little concerned and skeptical that you're only 6 months in and are already all in and enjoying the "perks" of this guy's money... nothing is free and if you were my friend and jumped in headfirst after a bad divorce, I would worry.

+1

I have noticed that women when they date men with money seem so comfortable using their money very early on in dating.

To others it comes across unpleasantly.

Its one thing to use your husband's money. But to be financially dependent on a boyfriend of 6 months...seems weird and thirsty.

OP here. Nope. I don't use his money. I actually do not let him buy everything for me. I can afford my own lifestyle but I can't afford his. He does pay for me when he wants me to travel with him because he knows I can't afford that type of lifestyle. I usually will slip the waitress my credit card and try to pick up a few meals. He says I am the only woman who has ever done that. His past girlfriends were "sponges" and I will not be one.

He is mid fifties and I am late 40's for what it is worth. I would never be financially dependent on a man I am dating. A man is not a plan!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your version of downplaying 'perks' should be not mentioning them at all unless asked.

Hate people who constantly brag about their SO's money or accomplishments even when I have quite a bit of mine. Unless asked I don't offer details.

OP here. I don't mention them at all. If they ask me what I am doing on the weekend, should I lie and say "nothing". He is a great guy. Aside from his money, he treats me unbelievably well.