I just turned 40 and my DH tells me he loves me but doesn’t feel the same

[Anonymous]

What a low blow! It’s just such cruel timing I don’t think I can every forgive him.

[Anonymous]

Huh? He loves you but doesn’t feel the same as what?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. Did he explain what he meant?

[Anonymous]

omg.i'm sorry. Do you have kids? If not, get a divorce. You are still relatively young. If you do have kids, I don't know. Maybe seek love elsewhere. I would *never* normally advocate for something like this, but if your spouse tells you he doesn't love you that way anymore, what are you supposed to do with that knowledge? He's a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. Did he explain what he meant?

We have been fighting a lot, have toddlers, and feels like we have grown apart a little. I didn’t expect this. I take it as he has fallen out of love with me and no longer had feeling .

[Anonymous]

How do you look compared to when you married?

[Anonymous]

My guess is that he has grown distant due to the nagging. Have you looked at yourself to see if you deserve to be treated the same way now as you did when you first met him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. Did he explain what he meant?

We have been fighting a lot, have toddlers, and feels like we have grown apart a little. I didn’t expect this. I take it as he has fallen out of love with me and no longer had feeling .

This is common in the younger years of having kids. For my husband and I it helped to see a marriage counselor and reread the love lngauages book. Once we both felt like our grievances were acknowledged by the other THEN we were able to start making progress.

Raising a family, careers and a building a life together is stressful for any couple. I’m sorry he hurt your feelings. If he still seems committed to the marriage don’t harbor resentment but try to figure out how to fix the fighting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that he has grown distant due to the nagging. Have you looked at yourself to see if you deserve to be treated the same way now as you did when you first met him?

I look then same and weigh less than I did before kids. Should that even matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. Did he explain what he meant?

We have been fighting a lot, have toddlers, and feels like we have grown apart a little. I didn’t expect this. I take it as he has fallen out of love with me and no longer had feeling .

Fighting about what? Why do people post and give zero details?

[Anonymous]

You need a babysitter and more time together away from the kids. And if the youngest child is at least 1 year old, more sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that he has grown distant due to the nagging. Have you looked at yourself to see if you deserve to be treated the same way now as you did when you first met him?

Bad guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a babysitter and more time together away from the kids. And if the youngest child is at least 1 year old, more sex.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. Did he explain what he meant?

We have been fighting a lot, have toddlers, and feels like we have grown apart a little. I didn’t expect this. I take it as he has fallen out of love with me and no longer had feeling .

This is common in the younger years of having kids. For my husband and I it helped to see a marriage counselor and reread the love lngauages book. Once we both felt like our grievances were acknowledged by the other THEN we were able to start making progress.

Raising a family, careers and a building a life together is stressful for any couple. I’m sorry he hurt your feelings. If he still seems committed to the marriage don’t harbor resentment but try to figure out how to fix the fighting.

+1 those years are hard. Our kids are 9 and 12 now, and we are now more in love than before. Something about going through those struggles together.. you come out stronger together.

I questioned my feelings for DH during those years; I'm sure DH did the same. I think the difference for us is that neither of us voiced this. It would've been the death knell for us.I think it's normal in a marriage to have these ups/downs to the point where sometimes you think you don't love that person anymore, but if you truly believe that there is no more love there deep down, then how do you recover from this? I'm not sure one can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a low blow! It’s just such cruel timing I don’t think I can every forgive him.

I'm sorry OP, his timing does really suck. Once you've calmed a bit think about what you want, because if you want to stay married and for things to improve, some things will have to change and both of you will need to be committed to that. Again, I'm so sorry.