Siblings who refuse to hire childcare

[Anonymous]

My husband's parents are in the area. We have hired childcare and have a back up plan for our kids in case plan a does not go through. We don't ask ILs for help unless it's an emergency. However, whenever there has been an emergency they haven't been able to help with the kids because they are too busy watching their other grandkids on a regular basis. The siblings refuse to hire childcare (they have money). They just are too anxious about it, so they keep flying in the ILs We have a plan and we are fine, but are just annoyed that we haven't been able to have help during actual emergencies (e.g. kid in hospital) because siblings can't get it together to hire help. okay, rant over.

[Anonymous]

They have to provide airfare for the grandparents whenever they need childcare? How often is this happening?

[Anonymous]

You make it sound as if you are somehow entitled to the grandparents' help because you've done your due diligence. It's perfectly fine for your siblings to have a different arrangement than yours!

And, if there really was an emergency, I'm sure they, or someone else, would help out.

My tween called 911 when he came home and found me passed out on the rug, then got himself and his little sibling to the neighbor's house when the ambulance left.

[Anonymous]

That's messed up that grandparents won't tell your ibling that they can't watch their kids when you have a kid in the hospital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You make it sound as if you are somehow entitled to the grandparents' help because you've done your due diligence. It's perfectly fine for your siblings to have a different arrangement than yours!

And, if there really was an emergency, I'm sure they, or someone else, would help out.

My tween called 911 when he came home and found me passed out on the rug, then got himself and his little sibling to the neighbor's house when the ambulance left.

WE have had two hospitalizations. ILs couldn't fly in to help.

[Anonymous]

This happens to us. My B/SIL (who I otherwise love and think are wonderful) use my M/FIL for daycare for their youngest child and sitting for all 3 kids --and have done so for the past 9 years. I think it's pretty egregious. the ILs are in their 80s and not well. They of course say yes, but I think it's obnoxious. They say they don't have $$ for daycare (but had 3 kids). It also means that the few times per year we ask for an evening of childcare or a sleepover, we can't because they are always booked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's messed up that grandparents won't tell your ibling that they can't watch their kids when you have a kid in the hospital.

IKR? It's just been stressful for the past two months...

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. They're in the area, or they are flown in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happens to us. My B/SIL (who I otherwise love and think are wonderful) use my M/FIL for daycare for their youngest child and sitting for all 3 kids --and have done so for the past 9 years. I think it's pretty egregious. the ILs are in their 80s and not well. They of course say yes, but I think it's obnoxious. They say they don't have $$ for daycare (but had 3 kids). It also means that the few times per year we ask for an evening of childcare or a sleepover, we can't because they are always booked.

Exactly! I wouldn't expect grandparents at their age to be the primary source of childcare because of their age, but it would be nice to have some back up for emergencies (when our plans A and B fail).

[Anonymous]

This might be an inlaw thing/children of my son thing. We too have had 2 hospitalizations where my parents hopped on a plane to help us. My local inlaws did not because it was me who needed help and not my DH (DH is overseas). They think that my parents should help my family when I need help and they should help if DH ever needed help. DH has never needed help though as he's always gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. They're in the area, or they are flown in?

Granparents (in laws) live 30 minutes from us (in DC area). Siblings live out of state. Grandparents get flown in to take care of siblings' kids out of state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. They're in the area, or they are flown in?

Granparents (in laws) live 30 minutes from us (in DC area). Siblings live out of state. Grandparents get flown in to take care of siblings' kids out of state.

So they fly them in every time they need a night out? What?

[Anonymous]

I get that it's frustrating. I'm in a similar position and have recognized that the grandparents just aren't a good backup plan because they odds of them actually being available aren't great. It's nice when they are, but they are NOT my go to backup plan.

It sucks to pay for regular childcare and backup care when your sibling gets it for free, but at least in my case, there's no point in wasting any energy on being frustrated so I just let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You make it sound as if you are somehow entitled to the grandparents' help because you've done your due diligence. It's perfectly fine for your siblings to have a different arrangement than yours!

And, if there really was an emergency, I'm sure they, or someone else, would help out.

My tween called 911 when he came home and found me passed out on the rug, then got himself and his little sibling to the neighbor's house when the ambulance left.

"Different arrangement" doesn't quite capture it. it seems that the other family is getting much much more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. They're in the area, or they are flown in?

Granparents (in laws) live 30 minutes from us (in DC area). Siblings live out of state. Grandparents get flown in to take care of siblings' kids out of state.

So they fly them in every time they need a night out? What?

They fly in to take care of the grandkids for weeks at a time......