Why Don’t you Cheat?

[Anonymous]

For me it’s purely that I don’t want to disrespect my girlfriend. Nothing else. Not that I love her so much that I don’t want to be with someone else. I just don’t want to give someone else the power over her. This makes me unselfish and therefore unlikely to ever cheat.

[Anonymous]

What makes one unlikely to cheat is the character trait called integrity. You either have it or you don't. No need to qualify or explain it.

[Anonymous]

Because I'm married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because I'm married

This. If I don't want to be married and get sex from wherever, then I won't stay married. It's pretty simple.

[Anonymous]

Because I respect myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What makes one unlikely to cheat is the character trait called integrity. You either have it or you don't. No need to qualify or explain it.

+1

[Anonymous]

I have been with my husband for 27 years, since I was 21 years old and we met in law school. I am a practicing Catholic, and was raised attending religious schools. In almost three decades together, I can count only two times that I met another man with whom I felt a sudden, meaningful, and electric connection or spark. There was also a third man, whom my husband and I knew from beforehand, who one day attempted to strike up an email flirtation.

In all three cases, recognizing the risk of nothing suddenly conflagrating into an overwhelming something, I set a personal, strict, limit, cease, and/or desist contact order upon myself. That meant stopping email responses, working for someone else, or declining invitations to coffee or lunch, until these men understood where I stood. And they all eventually did. I cannot, and could not, betray my husband with even the hint of an emotional attachment to another man, and so I set my limits and honored them. Perhaps it is my Catholic upbringing: do not covet thy neighbor's spouse, treat others as you would want to be treated, love one another, let no man tear asunder, til death do us part, and a sense of duty to husband and family.

My husband claims that he never cheated on me until this past January when he met another woman at a conference and felt an instantaneous and deep connection. He tells me that when she briefly hesitated to pursue that feeling over the conference weekend, he convinced her that they really owed it to themselves to explore such deep feelings and see where it would lead. And so they did, and have, and continue to do.

In short, I have no idea - really - what makes some people give in and surrender in such pivotal moments, while others hold steadfast and resist the temptation. But the hurt and pain to those affected and left behind in the wake is unbearable.

[Anonymous]

I don't have time. Between work and running around to kid activities, I am not sure how I would even meet an AP, let alone have sex.

[Anonymous]

The integrity thing, as mentioned above. If you have to sow some oats, break up first. It’s not about loving someone so much that you aren’t tempted by anyone else. It’s about resisting the temptation because you’re not a sh!tty person.

[Anonymous]

Cheated on everyone until I met my DH. He just does it for me. Together 10 years and no doubt in my mind I would ever ever ever cheat.

[Anonymous]

Lol, come talk to us after you've been married ten years. Funny, you're cute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been with my husband for 27 years, since I was 21 years old and we met in law school. I am a practicing Catholic, and was raised attending religious schools. In almost three decades together, I can count only two times that I met another man with whom I felt a sudden, meaningful, and electric connection or spark. There was also a third man, whom my husband and I knew from beforehand, who one day attempted to strike up an email flirtation.

In all three cases, recognizing the risk of nothing suddenly conflagrating into an overwhelming something, I set a personal, strict, limit, cease, and/or desist contact order upon myself. That meant stopping email responses, working for someone else, or declining invitations to coffee or lunch, until these men understood where I stood. And they all eventually did. I cannot, and could not, betray my husband with even the hint of an emotional attachment to another man, and so I set my limits and honored them. Perhaps it is my Catholic upbringing: do not covet thy neighbor's spouse, treat others as you would want to be treated, love one another, let no man tear asunder, til death do us part, and a sense of duty to husband and family.

My husband claims that he never cheated on me until this past January when he met another woman at a conference and felt an instantaneous and deep connection. He tells me that when she briefly hesitated to pursue that feeling over the conference weekend, he convinced her that they really owed it to themselves to explore such deep feelings and see where it would lead. And so they did, and have, and continue to do.

In short, I have no idea - really - what makes some people give in and surrender in such pivotal moments, while others hold steadfast and resist the temptation. But the hurt and pain to those affected and left behind in the wake is unbearable.

I am so sorry. People really just suck.

[Anonymous]

Be forewarned, this forum will make you paranoid. Completely selfish savages reside here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been with my husband for 27 years, since I was 21 years old and we met in law school. I am a practicing Catholic, and was raised attending religious schools. In almost three decades together, I can count only two times that I met another man with whom I felt a sudden, meaningful, and electric connection or spark. There was also a third man, whom my husband and I knew from beforehand, who one day attempted to strike up an email flirtation.

In all three cases, recognizing the risk of nothing suddenly conflagrating into an overwhelming something, I set a personal, strict, limit, cease, and/or desist contact order upon myself. That meant stopping email responses, working for someone else, or declining invitations to coffee or lunch, until these men understood where I stood. And they all eventually did. I cannot, and could not, betray my husband with even the hint of an emotional attachment to another man, and so I set my limits and honored them. Perhaps it is my Catholic upbringing: do not covet thy neighbor's spouse, treat others as you would want to be treated, love one another, let no man tear asunder, til death do us part, and a sense of duty to husband and family.

My husband claims that he never cheated on me until this past January when he met another woman at a conference and felt an instantaneous and deep connection. He tells me that when she briefly hesitated to pursue that feeling over the conference weekend, he convinced her that they really owed it to themselves to explore such deep feelings and see where it would lead. And so they did, and have, and continue to do.

In short, I have no idea - really - what makes some people give in and surrender in such pivotal moments, while others hold steadfast and resist the temptation. But the hurt and pain to those affected and left behind in the wake is unbearable.

I am so sorry. People really just suck.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

It would go against my ethics