Losing weight by not dieting

[Anonymous]

Has anyone had success getting to a happy weight by purposely NOT going on a diet? I have been on some kind of diet my whole life. My mother had me on one in the 4th grade. It has completely screwed up my relationship with food. The only time I lost a significant amount of weight (80lbs) was back in the Phen-Fen days. I managed to keep that off until I got married and started having kids. I've gained 50 of that back now and I am fast closing in on middle age. At this point, I would be happy to lose and keep off 20 or 30 of those pounds. But, I fail at every single diet I try. Weight Watchers, low-carb, no-sugar, keto, whatever. I stick to it for a few weeks, lose, and then say the heck with it.

I am so tired of focusing on FOOD. When I diet, it's all I think about. Weighing, measuring, can I eat that? should I not eat that? Is it time to eat yet? I'm going out, what can I eat?? I forgot my damn food for the day!

I've come to the conclusion that my weight problem is not about food. I eat a reasonably healthy diet. I just eat too much. I eat for entertainment. Out of boredom. If I'm mad. If I'm sad. If I think "I deserve a treat". Clearly, I'm eating for all the wrong reasons. I wonder if I just try to be mindful of why I'm eating and how hungry I actually am when I go to eat something, make healthy choices, generally, and get a reasonable amount of exercise, will I find a healthy weight or am I destined to be a prisoner to food and fat for the rest of my life.

[Anonymous]

The only way to do this without a diet is to eat less food. Then it's not a diet with rules and restrictions, but you get in the habit of knowing how much food you can eat and start to lose weight. Then when you get to your goal weight you see how much you can eat and not gain weight.

If you are on a diet it's temporary. What you want is to make it a lifestyle with give and take. But overall, if you are used to over eating, you will feel restricted for a long time. That's just how it is.

Eat less. Think about every calorie you put in your mouth when you are bored eating and if it's worth it. 100 extra calories is VERY easy to eat quickly. Make sure you really enjoy it or it's not worth it.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

You should try intermittent fasting. Only eat within an 8-hour window - like from 10 am until 6pm. Try to eat healthy during the window, but don't obsess about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should try intermittent fasting. Only eat within an 8-hour window - like from 10 am until 6pm. Try to eat healthy during the window, but don't obsess about it.

I tried IF, too. I spent all my time hungry and watching the clock to see when it was time to eat. I've got to take the focus off the food and on to why I overeat in the first place.

[Anonymous]

I did this, and I did it by making morning exercise a commitment.

For me, it's a hell of a lot harder to go for a run or do jumping jacks in the morning, if I stuff myself at night (or don't eat a lot healthy things that make you poop in the morning).

It wasn't a greenlight to eat whatever I wanted as long as I exercised, but the exercise helped regulate what and how much I could eat.

[Anonymous]

I posted something about this on here awhile ago, and a lot of people agreed with me. If I try to do some sort of strict organied diet, I spend so much more time thinking about food and feeling like I'm hungry etc. If I don't focus on it but just stay active and listen to my body, I tend to eat less and lose weight. HOWEVER, I also don't have the background that you seem to (having been on diets since 4th grade etc). It's hard to say how ingrained this type of thinking is for you, and how this approach would go. I say it's worth a try! I'd also say it's important to prioritize daily exercise, and don't use "I'm not on a diet" as an excuse to load the house with multiple types of junk food...if they're around, you'll eat them, and you'll eat more than you should.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you tried therapy? I wonder if addressing some of the underlying brain stuff that leads to the eating for entertainment, etc. might help.

[Anonymous]

I compete in a weightless sport and find that my weight is lower and more consistent when I'm just making good food choices (but not restricting in type or quantity) than when I get hyper vigilant. Food makes me stress, stress makes me hold water weight.

[Anonymous]

Maybe instead of a diet, you could practice mindful eating and increase your exercise? I would like to lose about 10 lbs (I've gained since turning 40) but I am really not good at dieting. So I'm just trying to be more careful about what I eat - avoiding empty calories when I can, consciously eating more vegetables, etc.

[Anonymous]

Lifestyle change. That's what I did. I exercise every day, and I don't count calories, but I try to eat healthy when possible. I cut out all sugary drinks, and cut back on carbs. That's about it.

[Anonymous]

Read The Economist’s Diet

[Anonymous]

I think that you've lost an intuitive relationship with food and it has become a psychological and emotional one. Probably should get some therapy for it, or rather, the feelings that surround food, weight, and eating.

I too had been on diets since a child (and yes, my mother took me to a diet place when I was 12 or so--they looked at me like, wth, you're not overweight! and I wasn't, though I wasn't thin either. i was given vitamins and a 900 calorie a day plan.....at once point, brochures for kids weight loss camps arrived at the house, but I was not heavy enough by far to qualify.....not surprising that my history includes emotional eating/over eating and anorexia/bulimia).

I am in a pretty healthy place now--both in terms of my actual health/weight and my relationship with food. It will never be "normal" as in I dont think about it, food does't still retain some judgment, anxiety, etc but I can tell you this: if I start to diet, or think about it--or even if DH starts to diet or talk about it, it produces anxiety in me and can lead me to some disordered thinking and habits and all of a sudden I am either depriving myself or thinking about how I am depriving myself and thinking abou the next meal and treats I will or wont have, etc and suddenly I am both skipping meals and eating crap out of anxiety....

so, yes, I got to a good place by not dieting. But it was not the dieting simply that stopped. It was retraining myself to deal with eveyrthing differently. This doesn't mean I dont try to make good choices, think about the nutritional value of food, or try to eat in a way that will maintain my health and weight...but I see that as part of a healthy and happy lifestyle rather than a series of restrictions designed to produce weight loss because I feel like crap about my body.

Might be an interesting experiment for you to simply not diet. But I wonder if you can escape the mental prison of food without some external help, so maybe it is something you can do in concert with therapy.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, I don't think there's a way to lose weight or maintain a healthy weight (if you're prone to gain) WITHOUT thinking about food a lot. So the question is, is there a healthier way to think about food then the way you have in the past? You do fundamentally have to accept eating less food than you'd want, if you're going to lose weight or stay a healthy weight. So maybe there's a way to do this, without setting up the punitive mentality of a "diet."

[Anonymous]

Check out Heather K Jones. She talks a lot about how our relationship with ourself (not food) is what leads to a happy healthy lifestyle. I've been following her for a few years and its mindboggling. (Also, look into Louise Hay) she has a lot of stuff about loving oneself first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should try intermittent fasting. Only eat within an 8-hour window - like from 10 am until 6pm. Try to eat healthy during the window, but don't obsess about it.

How do you deal with the headaches from the fasting?