Talking to husband about his all American diet

[Anonymous]

He was saying how growing up his mom fed them dinners or lasagna, spaghetti and meatballs, Olive Garden, Applebee’s etc

After after school he’d grab lunch at MCDs drive through.

I’m Indian...we had whole foods type meals 3 times a day. Our mom would make food from
Scratch every day. Chicken curries, spinach curries, whole wheat bread, fresh fruit, salads etc

Is his experience with food the American norm?

How did people actually live till old age in America with a diet like that?

[Anonymous]

First, you have to realize that what kills you is the amount of fats, salt, sugar and some types of preservatives (like nitrates).

So a home-cooked meal will likely have less hidden salt, sugar and artificial stuff than the processed variety, but it could have WAY TOO MUCH oil and fat - particularly curries and foods in sauces.

If you're specifically referencing lack of fruits and veggies, then you have to keep insisting. Every meal has to come with those. A little salad and vinaigrette, an apple, it's really very easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was saying how growing up his mom fed them dinners or lasagna, spaghetti and meatballs, Olive Garden, Applebee’s etc

After after school he’d grab lunch at MCDs drive through.

I’m Indian...we had whole foods type meals 3 times a day. Our mom would make food from
Scratch every day. Chicken curries, spinach curries, whole wheat bread, fresh fruit, salads etc

Is his experience with food the American norm?

How did people actually live till old age in America with a diet like that?

It’s pretty typical.

Indians tend to be fatter though. Not sure why that is.

[Anonymous]

First of all, if your goal is truly to encourage your husband to eat more healthfully, drop the attitude. You don't need to make this "Americans are so fat and awful!"

Make some healthy American-style meals, like simply prepared fish, a vegetable side, and a small portion of a starchy side like mashed potatoes or rice. Try making spaghetti with turkey instead of ground beef in the meat sauce, and serve a small portion with a nice big salad.

Then, incorporate some Indian dishes that you know he likes.

On special occasions, go ahead and make some of the more indulgent American dishes that he grew up with.

You will get nowhere if you insult his home country, especially when you chose to live here. Gee, did you think that when you chose to live in the United States and marry an American man, that he might like American food?

[Anonymous]

You sound pretty insufferable, OP. I don’t know how your DH stands you.

[Anonymous]

He's a grown-up. He can choose his own fcking food. Back off.

[Anonymous]

I see so many Indian men smoking. Is smoking an Indian norm?

[Anonymous]

I would not be using a stereotypical Indian meal as a superior example to the stereotypical American meal. Indian curries can be loaded with fat and oily. And high carbohydrate with all the refined white rice and naan bread. And all the deep fried samosas and pakoras. Obesity is a growing problem in India along with diabetes (Indian sweets are insanely sweet, as you know). It can be a healthy cuisine but it can just as easily be an unhealthy cuisine. Just like "American" cuisine.

I grew up eating what you'd probably consider "American" cuisine. Dinners were simple roast chicken or grilled meat, all served with steamed vegetables and salads on the side and lots of fruit. You'd probably find it bland and boring but we were healthy and fit and it's an American diet too!

I would not approach your husband's diet from an American = bad and Indian = good perspective because that is, to put it politely, a pile of crock. But I would talk about the importance of healthier eating overall and seek out both western and Indian recipes that are healthy. From the American / Western side this can be simple grilled meats or fish served with steamed vegetables and a salad.

[Anonymous]

OP, your attitude is rude, and you will continue to be slammed for it.

That aside, I don’t think there is any one ‘normal’ way of eating in the US. Besides regional preferences, many families that are only 1- or 2-generations out still incorporate heavy doses of food from their original countries.

In our family, my Thai mom served a mix of food that she was familiar with and American style classics that she wasn’t great at but that she knew my American dad liked. I grew up strongly preferring Asian food, so it’s probably 75% of my repertoire, but I still incorporate some American foods too. Like most people, I am aware of the health benefits of less-processed food and am lucky enough to have the time to make 90% of our meals from scratch. My kid eats everything, but has a preference for Western style food like bbq, Italian pastas, etc. He doesn’t cook much, but knows how to make some of my dishes. However, they are labor-intensive, and I doubt he will carry on the tradition when cooking a tub of pasta is quick, cheap and easy.

My younger brother, in contrast, was born state-side. He grew up eating everything my mom made but not learning to cook. His American-born wife (now ex) also didn’t know how to cook. They lived in a rural neighborhood and mostly ate frozen dinners and did fast food the rest of the time. My niece doesn’t tolerate the tiniest hint of spice, nor will she eat raw foods like salad.

Some of it is just your own preference, some is availability, but a lot of what you crave is what you’ve been brought up with and know how to cook. As a foreign-born mom, you will have a lot of say in what your kids will consider ‘normal’ and whether or not they will know how to make those dishes well enough to carry to their own families one day.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am an Indian married to an Indian DH. Both of us grew up in India and came to this country as adults. Our family, like most Indian families here, eat a variety of cuisines in this country. That is the beauty of living in the US that amazing delicious foods from different countries and cultures are available here. It is pretty one-dimensional if you live here and not experience different cuisine.

Most of us also celebrate many of the holidays of our adopted country. Most of us are cooking up an all-American feast on Thanksgiving and we also become grill-masters during 4th of July. We buy meals at our workplace, restaurants, while travelling, school cafeterias too, and that means we are not getting Indian home-cooked meals all the time.

If you are so concerned about your husband's eating habits then you can choose to cook delicious and healthy meals for him, from all the cuisines that he likes. What does he like? Mexican, American, Italian, French, Greek, Lebanese, Thai, Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, Persian, German, Swedish? For you to cook healthy meals for him that he will like to have, you need to go on a journey with him to try out food outside of what you were raised on.

How you were raised (eating just home-cooked Indian meals) is not a norm here and frankly, it is not even a norm in India anymore either. People are trying new foods, they are adopting different cuisines and they are cooking it at home too. No reason why you cannot become a good cook who can provide your whole family with delicious global foods from US and around the world.

To just be limited to eating Indian food seems very sad for your family and you. In this country where ingredients for food is so readily available and so affordable, it will be a shame if you do not explore other foods.

My dear, you being uncharitable about how your husband was raised is showing only one person in an unflattering light, and that is not your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am an Indian married to an Indian DH. Both of us grew up in India and came to this country as adults. Our family, like most Indian families here, eat a variety of cuisines in this country. That is the beauty of living in the US that amazing delicious foods from different countries and cultures are available here. It is pretty one-dimensional if you live here and not experience different cuisine.

Most of us also celebrate many of the holidays of our adopted country. Most of us are cooking up an all-American feast on Thanksgiving and we also become grill-masters during 4th of July. We buy meals at our workplace, restaurants, while travelling, school cafeterias too, and that means we are not getting Indian home-cooked meals all the time.

If you are so concerned about your husband's eating habits then you can choose to cook delicious and healthy meals for him, from all the cuisines that he likes. What does he like? Mexican, American, Italian, French, Greek, Lebanese, Thai, Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, Persian, German, Swedish? For you to cook healthy meals for him that he will like to have, you need to go on a journey with him to try out food outside of what you were raised on.

How you were raised (eating just home-cooked Indian meals) is not a norm here and frankly, it is not even a norm in India anymore either. People are trying new foods, they are adopting different cuisines and they are cooking it at home too. No reason why you cannot become a good cook who can provide your whole family with delicious global foods from US and around the world.

To just be limited to eating Indian food seems very sad for your family and you. In this country where ingredients for food is so readily available and so affordable, it will be a shame if you do not explore other foods.

My dear, you being uncharitable about how your husband was raised is showing only one person in an unflattering light, and that is not your husband.

Same poster again. I wanted to tell you that 30 years ago when I came to this country, I bought "The Joy of Cooking", mainly because we wanted to try different foods and did not have the money to afford eating out. I know most people do not use recipe books nowadays but reading a recipe book makes it easy to get ideas. Internet and cooking classes are also great ways to learn to make foods that people want to eat and are healthy. Give it a try.

[Anonymous]

What's wrong with spaghetti and meatballs? We cook a lot of Indian, but spaghetti and meatballs are much healthier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not be using a stereotypical Indian meal as a superior example to the stereotypical American meal. Indian curries can be loaded with fat and oily. And high carbohydrate with all the refined white rice and naan bread. And all the deep fried samosas and pakoras. Obesity is a growing problem in India along with diabetes (Indian sweets are insanely sweet, as you know). It can be a healthy cuisine but it can just as easily be an unhealthy cuisine. Just like "American" cuisine.

I grew up eating what you'd probably consider "American" cuisine. Dinners were simple roast chicken or grilled meat, all served with steamed vegetables and salads on the side and lots of fruit. You'd probably find it bland and boring but we were healthy and fit and it's an American diet too!

I would not approach your husband's diet from an American = bad and Indian = good perspective because that is, to put it politely, a pile of crock. But I would talk about the importance of healthier eating overall and seek out both western and Indian recipes that are healthy. From the American / Western side this can be simple grilled meats or fish served with steamed vegetables and a salad.

No Indian families eat naan, pakoras, or samosas daily. It looks like you’ve gotten your perception from Indian restaurants, which serve only a sliver of the wide variety of foods eaten by Indian and Indian American families.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are going to get nowhere with your DH with that attitude. It's rude and judgmental and frankly, makes a lot of false assumptions.

I grew up in a middle class American suburb and we ate plenty of chicken, sandwiches, baked potatoes, peas and carrots, bananas, milk, salad...that kind of thing--boring, maybe, but fairly nutritious for growing kids. Sure we ate junk here and there, but you really shouldn't act like Americans don't know what salads, fruit and wheat bread are and they're Indian inventions.

As for eating out, most families I knew in the middle class didn't make places like Olive Garden and Applebee's a regular occurrence--most American middle class families could not afford to eat at sit-down places all the time, and it's isn't practical to round up multiple kids and go to a place like that on weeknights. I'd assume your DH was probably from a pretty affluent family and/or an only child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be using a stereotypical Indian meal as a superior example to the stereotypical American meal. Indian curries can be loaded with fat and oily. And high carbohydrate with all the refined white rice and naan bread. And all the deep fried samosas and pakoras. Obesity is a growing problem in India along with diabetes (Indian sweets are insanely sweet, as you know). It can be a healthy cuisine but it can just as easily be an unhealthy cuisine. Just like "American" cuisine.

I grew up eating what you'd probably consider "American" cuisine. Dinners were simple roast chicken or grilled meat, all served with steamed vegetables and salads on the side and lots of fruit. You'd probably find it bland and boring but we were healthy and fit and it's an American diet too!

I would not approach your husband's diet from an American = bad and Indian = good perspective because that is, to put it politely, a pile of crock. But I would talk about the importance of healthier eating overall and seek out both western and Indian recipes that are healthy. From the American / Western side this can be simple grilled meats or fish served with steamed vegetables and a salad.

No Indian families eat naan, pakoras, or samosas daily. It looks like you’ve gotten your perception from Indian restaurants, which serve only a sliver of the wide variety of foods eaten by Indian and Indian American families.

And no American families eat lasagna, meatballs, and Olive Garden type food daily unless you get your perception from the Sopranos.