DH's family still bitter about our wedding

[Anonymous]

Background: I grew up in DC. Met DH when he was living in LA and I was in San Diego. His family all lived in NOVA. Got married in San Diego because my parents and I lived there and my job at the time was too demanding to plan a wedding anywhere else. My mom actually did a lot of the legwork.

We've been married nine years, and I just found out that DH's siblings are still offended that I chose to have the wedding where I lived. They still consider it a destination wedding and apparently the family believes I was rude for holding one and inviting them. They have't stopped talking about it for nine years.

I can't lie - I'm hurt. It bothered me at the time, but I just couldn't figure out how to plan a wedding out in NOVA. I don't even have my side of the family there anymore. Are they overreacting? Am I?

[Anonymous]

Laugh at their ridiculousness and move on. They are over-reacting. Completely.

[Anonymous]

DH needs to shut this down. Couples get married where they live.

[Anonymous]

Whatevs. Traditionally, the wedding is held in the bride's home town. Even if the two of you had picked a different place, it would likely have been somewhere in SoCal, so what's their problem?

They didn't have to come.

[Anonymous]

Weddings are traditionally held in the bride’s hometown and her parents are the hosts. Your inlaws are being stupid

[Anonymous]

How did you find that information out? How trustworthy is that information?

Having a wedding in the bride's hometown is pretty standard. If you guys were living there, it would make sense to have the wedding there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH needs to shut this down. Couples get married where they live.

Their argument is that DH did not actually live in LA or San Diego (he was in the military and had been in LA less than two years when we married). Did I accidentally hold a destination wedding? I'm so humiliated at the idea.

[Anonymous]

Also, their other problem was me growing up in DC. They argued that was my hometown and the wedding should have been there (convenient for them).

I believe the rumors since I had to bend over backwards finding inexpensive hotels for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH needs to shut this down. Couples get married where they live.

Their argument is that DH did not actually live in LA or San Diego (he was in the military and had been in LA less than two years when we married). Did I accidentally hold a destination wedding? I'm so humiliated at the idea.

Aha! Now we know the truth. They hated that the military sent him so far away, but thought he'd come back home after he'd served. Instead, he married a girl in SoCal, cementing the fact that he was never coming back.

[Anonymous]

How did you learn all of this? It may be true that everyone feels that way, but if you're hearing this from just one person, be open to the possibility that what's really going on is that one person is holding a grudge because of their own issues, and everyone else might have been a little frustrated at the time about the travel but has long since gotten over it and just humors the grudge-holder when he periodically brings it up because it's not worth a fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH needs to shut this down. Couples get married where they live.

Their argument is that DH did not actually live in LA or San Diego (he was in the military and had been in LA less than two years when we married). Did I accidentally hold a destination wedding? I'm so humiliated at the idea.

But you lived there, yes? Then no, that's not a destination wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, their other problem was me growing up in DC. They argued that was my hometown and the wedding should have been there (convenient for them).

I believe the rumors since I had to bend over backwards finding inexpensive hotels for them.

Where do you two live now? Did you immediately move back to NoVa? If so, I could see that argument, though it's still ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH needs to shut this down. Couples get married where they live.

Their argument is that DH did not actually live in LA or San Diego (he was in the military and had been in LA less than two years when we married). Did I accidentally hold a destination wedding? I'm so humiliated at the idea.

You did not have a destination wedding. A destination wedding is one where the couple picks a location other than where they currently live or where they grew up for some other reason and everyone has to travel there. You chose to have the wedding where you were currently living, and the fact that some people had to travel for the wedding does not make it a destination wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH needs to shut this down. Couples get married where they live.

Their argument is that DH did not actually live in LA or San Diego (he was in the military and had been in LA less than two years when we married). Did I accidentally hold a destination wedding? I'm so humiliated at the idea.

But you lived there, yes? Then no, that's not a destination wedding.

Yes, I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, their other problem was me growing up in DC. They argued that was my hometown and the wedding should have been there (convenient for them).

I believe the rumors since I had to bend over backwards finding inexpensive hotels for them.

Where do you two live now? Did you immediately move back to NoVa? If so, I could see that argument, though it's still ridiculous.

We've moved three times since then. We haven't lived back east since.