Boyfriend in the Hospital

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has been in the hospital for a day. He broke his leg last week and needed surgery. He lives with his parents who do not like me and I am not allowed at their house. So seeing him has been really challenging.
I will pick him up and take him out to dinner or lunch in the past week, since his injury, or to the store or a movie. We have been making the most of this complicated situation for the past 2 weeks.

Today, before work I went to the hospital to see him. He just had surgery yesterday so today he's feeling the pain. I feel like I can't do much for him right now.
I hugged him, kissed him, and we talked a bit. I noticed his good leg was dry, so while he was on the phone texting, I took some lotion out of my purse and started rubbing his good leg with it.

He looks up from his phone, "What are you doing???!!! I can't have any scents or lotions on me at all!! It would really affect my healing! You don't just go up to someone and start throwing shit on them without asking first!!"

I immediately started crying. I felt like I had done something really wrong. I went to get my purse to go and he said he was "Just kidding".

Am I overreacting and getting my feelings hurt?

[Anonymous]

You should ask before doing that. You sound like you are 12.

[Anonymous]

Aww, he's just being a jerk because he's in pain. Best thing you can do for him right now is not take this shit personally.

[Anonymous]

Can I have the minute I just wasted back please?

[Anonymous]

You've been dating for only two weeks?

I mean, yeah, ask people before you put lotion on them. But the comment about scents affecting his healing is bananas, and "just kidding" is an asshole response. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

I think he's in pain and he overreacted.
If he lives with his parents and they treat you like this, I don't see how you can have a happy future with him. I would probably end this relationship. You deserve better. How old are you?

[Anonymous]

It is really odd for you to touch him and start rubbing lotion on him without asking him if he wanted you to do that.

I agree with him. You don't just start putting products on someone without asking them first...and especially in the hospital.

You sound extremely sensitive to have started crying, and then to just get up to leave. I am not sure how old you are - maybe a teen?

He likely said just kidding because he has been socialized to believe he needs to make you feel better or that a woman crying means he needs to fix it.

You were in the wrong, over reactive and there was no reason to get your feelings hurt at all. You should have apologized and then just continued on.

[Anonymous]

It was inappropriate of you to start putting lotion on him without asking him first if he wanted you to. You overreacted by crying and starting to walk out, and then he had to start talking you down. You are making this all about you rather than respecting him and his needs/preferences. Find a way to settle down or you'll be an ex soon.

[Anonymous]

This all sounds.... immature.

[Anonymous]

Op here. We have been together 2 years.

[Anonymous]

I’d break up with him. This sounds like nothing but heartbreak.

[Anonymous]

What a mess - you’re not allowed at his home? This isn’t sustainable for a long-term relationship. Do you talk about the future?

[Anonymous]

You sound really immature.

[Anonymous]

How old are you guys? Honestly, the lotion thing is weird and speaks to some lack of boundaries on your part.

[Anonymous]

Unless you are still college-age or there's some other truly extenuating circumstances, a guy who is still living with his parents despite the fact that they will not allow him to bring over his girlfriend of two years is either incredibly immature or isn't that into you. Or both.