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I’m 99% sure. I’ve been finding empty bottles around the house, found some in her car, and she was clearly drunk at a neighborhood Christmas party and I had to bring her home. Last night I walked downstairs and she was on the couch with at least 6 beer cans around her. Brought her upstairs to bed. I sleep like a rock but she must have gone downstairs last night because this morning six more beer cans were gone. I just got home from work and found an entire bottle of wine buried at the bottom of the recycling bin so she was clearly trying to hide it from me but.
She’s held it together that I know of so far but I don’t even know where to begin. |
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You mean you're 100% sure.
She is killing herself, OP. You need to take action NOW. Doctor. Rehab. AA. |
| I'm so sorry, OP. My husband is an alcoholic and no amount of limiting alcohol ever worked for him - he had to decide he wanted sobriety. I would suggest going to al-anon meetings for your understanding and sanity. |
| I am sorry. Do you have kids? |
We do have kids. 10 and 6. |
Not to mention she's going to murder others, if she's drinking and driving. Which is a likelihood, given bottles in the car. |
| With kids involved, get her help don't give her a choice. Tell her if she wants relationship with kids this is the only way. Don't regret don't hesitate. If she refuses to go you leave with kids. Every decision should be made with wage is best for them in the long run. |
| Coming from an alcoholic wife, don't put her on the defensive when you try to talk to her. She needs help, and there is an underlying reason that she's drinking. In my case, my husband had an emotional affair, not physical, but it devastated me. I am working my way out of this pit. He and I talk honestly, I am aware that I have a problem, but he admits and is truly remorseful for his part in it. I have slowed down a lot, am trying to quit, and the best thing that he does for me is that he doesn't nag at me or preach at me. He supports me and holds me, and listens to me. Watch "When A Man Loves A Woman". Your post reminded me of that movie. You and she will be in my thoughts. |
| How long has this been going on? |
| So very sorry. You need to have a compassionate, but with a plan in action (she may need rehab it is dangerous to quit alcohol cold turkey sometimes due to withdrawal) talk with her ASAP. |
| Get guidance from professionals, but get her help ASAP. I'd call AA and ask for guidance and resources. |
How long has this been going on for? How long have you been married? Has she displayed behaviour of her being an alcoholic before? My question is do you think this is a phase? Like is she going through something? |
NP. My husband had an alcoholic mother and it scarred him deeply and ruined his childhood. His mother tried to hide her drinking but kids eventually figure it out: passing out on the sofa every night, erratic (drunken) behavior, screaming fights, etc For your children’s sake, get you wife help. |
| Perhaps Al Anon could be a good resource? I'm sorry you're dealing with this. |
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Do an intervention ASAP. Like ideally TONIGHT. Call your local chapter of AA, Al-Anon, and everyone else. Use whatever resources you have to help your family.
This is a full emergency. Take personal leave if you can. Hopefully she makes it home tonight in one piece and doesn't kill anyone on the way. Good luck, OP. It's gonna be a rough ride. And yes, your wife is an alcoholic. Absolutely no doubt about it. Al-anon will help you get past the denial. |