How well do you need to know a family to let your 12 yr old DD sleepover?

[Anonymous]

I have met my daughter's friend's parents a few times. The friend has a brother in high school. We haven't lived here long enough to really know anyone and I don't know if I am being over-protective in even worrying about stuff like this.

[Anonymous]

What exactly are you worried about?

[Anonymous]

Would you be insulted if they worried this much about their daughter coming over to your house?

[Anonymous]

You aren't comfortable with this family. If you aren't usually concerned about sleepovers, this may be a gut feeling. Listen to your gut and don't be pressured by people shaming you for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You aren't comfortable with this family. If you aren't usually concerned about sleepovers, this may be a gut feeling. Listen to your gut and don't be pressured by people shaming you for it.

+1

[Anonymous]

I remember my mom never letting me spend the night with one neighborhood friend. It would make me so mad but years later she told me she just never had a good vibe about the dad and older brother and couldn't get past it enough to let me stay over. So maybe your gut is just telling you something.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't let my daughter spend the night at ANY house with males. So this means she'll never spend the night out. Too many men are predators. I grew up in a wealthy area and my friend's dad was outed as a pedaphile many years later. This was one of the families I was allowed to spend the night at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't let my daughter spend the night at ANY house with males. So this means she'll never spend the night out. Too many men are predators. I grew up in a wealthy area and my friend's dad was outed as a pedaphile many years later. This was one of the families I was allowed to spend the night at.

You are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

With both our son and our daughter, we ask if there are guns in the home, and if so are they in a gun safe with the bullets in a separate safe. We also ask if the parent will be there the entire time and about whether the kids will have access to alcohol or violent/inappropriate media. No one has a problem with those questions.

[Anonymous]

I have to know a family really well. My husband is retired law enforcement, and we make sure that we know exactly who our kids are with, and that we've known the family for years. We do not trust many people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't let my daughter spend the night at ANY house with males. So this means she'll never spend the night out. Too many men are predators. I grew up in a wealthy area and my friend's dad was outed as a pedaphile many years later. This was one of the families I was allowed to spend the night at.

You are ridiculous.

Dp. You'd think I'm downright crazy, then, because I won't allow my sons to sleep over at anyone's house. This subject has been beat to death on this forum. There are people, like me, who will not send their kids on sleepovers. Even if there is minimal risk of something horrible happening, it is not worth it to potentially screw my kids up for life. I know two men who were abused by their friend's dads at sleepovers when they were teens. These guys are extremely damaged and neither has been able to get over it.

[Anonymous]

Helicopter parenting at its worst. Girls have sleepovers in middle school, it's no big deal.

[Anonymous]

I a a father. My DD has sleepovers and sleeps over many times. The only time I refuse is when 1) there is illness, or 2) no DD can not have a friend sleep over if DW is away. That is jut common sense. I know I am trustworthy. But, it does not take much for people to question things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I a a father. My DD has sleepovers and sleeps over many times. The only time I refuse is when 1) there is illness, or 2) no DD can not have a friend sleep over if DW is away. That is jut common sense. I know I am trustworthy. But, it does not take much for people to question things.

This rings alarms for some reason....

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am a single mother and it is just DD and I in our home. Yes, I am worried about DD being molested by an older male or father/step father -- isn't every one?

My question is about how well I need to know the family before DD can sleep over. I actually don't get a weird or alarming vibe from the family at all but I just don't know them that well.