How well do you need to know a family to let your 12 yr old DD sleepover?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I a a father. My DD has sleepovers and sleeps over many times. The only time I refuse is when 1) there is illness, or 2) no DD can not have a friend sleep over if DW is away. That is jut common sense. I know I am trustworthy. But, it does not take much for people to question things.

This rings alarms for some reason....

NP - Why does it ring alarms for you? Sounds reasonable and normal to me.

Rereading it, it seems reasonable. I guess I had a gut reaction to the implication that a man expects to be suspected of mal intent, as if they can't control themselves without a woman standing guard.

No, I think it's more protection against false accusations. I coach a girl's sports team. I make sure I am never alone with a girl -- there's always another adult around. My church is the same way -- no adult can be alone with a child in youth group. Most male university professors will always leave the door open if a woman visits.

This is for mutual protection. It's sad that this is where society is, and it's not to suggest that all men are predators or cannot control themselves (the opposite is true). But it is what it is.

BTW, my dds also host sleepovers frequently, but never if my wife is out of town. There was ONE exception to that -- and I made it crystal clear to the visiting girl's family that I was chaperoning solo that weekend, but they know us pretty well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I a a father. My DD has sleepovers and sleeps over many times. The only time I refuse is when 1) there is illness, or 2) no DD can not have a friend sleep over if DW is away. That is jut common sense. I know I am trustworthy. But, it does not take much for people to question things.

This rings alarms for some reason....

NP - Why does it ring alarms for you? Sounds reasonable and normal to me.

Rereading it, it seems reasonable. I guess I had a gut reaction to the implication that a man expects to be suspected of mal intent, as if they can't control themselves without a woman standing guard.

Read the posts. A lot of people think this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am a single mother and it is just DD and I in our home. Yes, I am worried about DD being molested by an older male or father/step father -- isn't every one?

My question is about how well I need to know the family before DD can sleep over. I actually don't get a weird or alarming vibe from the family at all but I just don't know them that well.

I'd trust you feelings about the family. If you don't get a weird vibe, let her stay. It's meaningful for kids to experience what other families are like.

Everything we do has an element of risk, and we can't avoid them all. The creeps I ran into growing up were always in public places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You aren't comfortable with this family. If you aren't usually concerned about sleepovers, this may be a gut feeling. Listen to your gut and don't be pressured by people shaming you for it.

+1

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