Ever ok to go to HR about a manager? Or just quit?

[Anonymous]

I have a new boss. 6 months in. She is condescending and questions everything I do. She says she “doesn’t like my communication style” when I ask her for recommendations she spouts managementisms. She submitted a plan to leadership eliminating my position (not me, my role). A higher up rejected it. My work is excellent and I’m one of the few people who can do what I do.

Now she treats me like crap. Every conversation is that I did something she perceived as wrong. She gives me crazy deadlines then makes me do “emergency busy work” nights and weekends. She then throws it out and says “it’s wrong”. Nothing pleases her; I’m trying. I had to go on anxiety medication due to her mind games.

Is there any value in going to HR? I would have two requests:
1. Coaching how to “improve” my communication
2. HR approval to request a transfer (company policy)

Or, do just need to leave the company completely.

A senior VP (above her) called me to say “she thinks I may be unhappy but the company doesn’t want to lose me” - so, this isn’t a secret..,

[Anonymous]

I would just go directly to that VP and tell her that you want a transfer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just go directly to that VP and tell her that you want a transfer.

This, or the transfer via HR. Don't ask HR for coaching; your boss will just take that as an admission on your part that you need it, and if she is truly finding fault for no reason, she'll just find something else wrong. Tell the VP that you love the company and you don't want to badmouth your boss, but VP is correct that you are unhappy and don't feel you are being utilized appropriately in your current office environment. You will have to consider leaving the company if they cannot guarantee you a transfer. Etc.

Is the boss here to stay? Do you have a mentor you could talk with honestly or semi-honestly?

[Anonymous]

Talk to hr and then start looking for another job.

[Anonymous]

Request a transfer. I wouldn’t even ask for the “coaching” because I don’t think this is your problem. After your request, start looking for another job in case your request is denied.

[Anonymous]

Talk to that VP and tell them you're planning ot go to HR to request the transfer.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the VP. HR's job is protect the company from lawsuits, not help employees. They cannot and will not help with your situation.

[Anonymous]

Start your job search ASAP

[Anonymous]

Set an appointment and talk to the VP about a transfer. If it fails, start looking for another job.

[Anonymous]

Internal transfer if you can. Otherwise start looking for a new job. Nothing is done about poor performers in the majority of circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just go directly to that VP and tell her that you want a transfer.

This, or the transfer via HR. Don't ask HR for coaching; your boss will just take that as an admission on your part that you need it, and if she is truly finding fault for no reason, she'll just find something else wrong. Tell the VP that you love the company and you don't want to badmouth your boss, but VP is correct that you are unhappy and don't feel you are being utilized appropriately in your current office environment. You will have to consider leaving the company if they cannot guarantee you a transfer. Etc.

Is the boss here to stay? Do you have a mentor you could talk with honestly or semi-honestly?

I agree with everything here, except telling the VP you will leave the company if you are not transferred. It is understood, and saying this out loud will backfire if for some reason you aren't able to find a new job.

[Anonymous]

What did you say to the VP? I'd definitely call them back, or take advantage of a slow time (holidays) and the new year to tell them you're looking for ways to contribute more to the company in the new year and suggestions for other places you might want to move. You don't have to badmouth boss, especially since boss seems vindictive, but try to position it as VP is mentoring you and offering guidance.

Meanwhile, polish the resume over the holidays and start putting it out there.

And then think a lot about how this boss is manipulating you. IT sucks - I've been there. I wish I had developed ways to depersonalize it, make myself less anxious and less vulnerable. Figure out a way to convince yourself you are a highly valued, competent employee and not let the boss screw with your head. SO HARD, I know. But ultimately figure out how you can stay strong in the face of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the VP. HR's job is to protect the company from lawsuits, not help employees. They cannot and will not help with your situation.

I am in HR and this the statement above is inaccurate in every job I have worked. We advise management on how to avoid discrimination or unlawful termination, but avoiding a suit itsn't the focus. Also - I am primarily held accountable for retention and morale. Bad managers are at the top of my list of things to resolve as they are the number 1 reason good employee leave! That said, I know not all HR departments are the same. I have several examples of situations like yours from throughout my career. In most cases, the bad manager was terminated - but usually not as fast as the direct report would like. So I would say go to HR but start looking.

[Anonymous]

Ask the SVP for help. Forget HR...they do nothing.

[Anonymous]

Ask for the transfer and ask what other opportunities are available (assuming you like the company otherwise).

If she's suggested eliminating your job, you should be doing this anyway, even absent the other problems.