Ever ok to go to HR about a manager? Or just quit?

[Anonymous]

I think it helps that higher ups rejected her proposal to eliminate your position. It’s likely they know she’s a problem. I’d recommend looking for another job. Skip HR. They are NOT there to protect you but the company. I wonder if you can talk to a higher up? Her boss perhaps? He’s probably had similar complaints about her in the past.

[Anonymous]

Op here - this blew up in my face. Made the mistake of asking HR for coaching and asking my SVP for advice. Both reported it to the top of HR. Now it’s an HR nightmare, I look like a whiner, and my boss is more of a jerk. Lots of weekend and late night assignments, conversations where she just speaks over or belittles me.

And transfer not approved for min 6 months while we “work our our issues”.

I’m interviewing externally. It’s a shame because I really don’t want to leave, just want a boss that (even marginally) values me. Not sure I will survive 6 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - this blew up in my face. Made the mistake of asking HR for coaching and asking my SVP for advice. Both reported it to the top of HR. Now it’s an HR nightmare, I look like a whiner, and my boss is more of a jerk. Lots of weekend and late night assignments, conversations where she just speaks over or belittles me.

And transfer not approved for min 6 months while we “work our our issues”.

I’m interviewing externally. It’s a shame because I really don’t want to leave, just want a boss that (even marginally) values me. Not sure I will survive 6 months.

This part is just bullcrap. I'd look hard outside the company just for that. They'll kick themselves when you're gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - this blew up in my face. Made the mistake of asking HR for coaching and asking my SVP for advice. Both reported it to the top of HR. Now it’s an HR nightmare, I look like a whiner, and my boss is more of a jerk. Lots of weekend and late night assignments, conversations where she just speaks over or belittles me.

And transfer not approved for min 6 months while we “work our our issues”.

I’m interviewing externally. It’s a shame because I really don’t want to leave, just want a boss that (even marginally) values me. Not sure I will survive 6 months.

Didn't the second poster on this thread tell you not to go to HR for coaching?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - this blew up in my face. Made the mistake of asking HR for coaching and asking my SVP for advice. Both reported it to the top of HR. Now it’s an HR nightmare, I look like a whiner, and my boss is more of a jerk. Lots of weekend and late night assignments, conversations where she just speaks over or belittles me.

And transfer not approved for min 6 months while we “work our our issues”.

I’m interviewing externally. It’s a shame because I really don’t want to leave, just want a boss that (even marginally) values me. Not sure I will survive 6 months.

Can you tell HR that everything has been worked out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - this blew up in my face. Made the mistake of asking HR for coaching and asking my SVP for advice. Both reported it to the top of HR. Now it’s an HR nightmare, I look like a whiner, and my boss is more of a jerk. Lots of weekend and late night assignments, conversations where she just speaks over or belittles me.

And transfer not approved for min 6 months while we “work our our issues”.

I’m interviewing externally. It’s a shame because I really don’t want to leave, just want a boss that (even marginally) values me. Not sure I will survive 6 months.

WOW!

If you’re going by to post for advice, at least consider it carefully before (re) macying.

HR is NOT your friend. They’re ther to protect THE COMPANY as I already stated. Going to HR with a complaint=possible lawsuit for them which makes YOU the adversary.

Lesson learned.

We live and learn.

[Anonymous]

Before *(re)ACTING

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the VP. HR's job is to protect the company from lawsuits, not help employees. They cannot and will not help with your situation.

I am in HR and this the statement above is inaccurate in every job I have worked. We advise management on how to avoid discrimination or unlawful termination, but avoiding a suit itsn't the focus. Also - I am primarily held accountable for retention and morale. Bad managers are at the top of my list of things to resolve as they are the number 1 reason good employee leave! That said, I know not all HR departments are the same. I have several examples of situations like yours from throughout my career. In most cases, the bad manager was terminated - but usually not as fast as the direct report would like. So I would say go to HR but start looking.

This is pretty much the line I hear from folks on the HR side. Almost nobody outside of HR who is over 30 believes them.
I mean, it sounds reasonable enough. We just trust what we see with our own eyes over what somebody says. (especially if that somebody has, not just a "conflict of interest" but an official and paid opposing interest)

Look aggressively, now.

[Anonymous]

WHY would you go to HR for coaching? That's like admitting you are awful with people, and there often isn't much they can do about it. Professional coaching is really expensive and often not worth it for someone at the non-exec level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - this blew up in my face. Made the mistake of asking HR for coaching and asking my SVP for advice. Both reported it to the top of HR. Now it’s an HR nightmare, I look like a whiner, and my boss is more of a jerk. Lots of weekend and late night assignments, conversations where she just speaks over or belittles me.

And transfer not approved for min 6 months while we “work our our issues”.

I’m interviewing externally. It’s a shame because I really don’t want to leave, just want a boss that (even marginally) values me. Not sure I will survive 6 months.

Jesus. Did you even read any of the responses? Lots of great posters here, including one who absolutely advised against asking for coaching! Why did you even ask for advice?

[Anonymous]

I wish I had done this. I wish I had spoken with HR before the situation escalated and my boss fired me before I could work up the courage to quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the VP. HR's job is to protect the company from lawsuits, not help employees. They cannot and will not help with your situation.

I am in HR and this the statement above is inaccurate in every job I have worked. We advise management on how to avoid discrimination or unlawful termination, but avoiding a suit itsn't the focus. Also - I am primarily held accountable for retention and morale. Bad managers are at the top of my list of things to resolve as they are the number 1 reason good employee leave! That said, I know not all HR departments are the same. I have several examples of situations like yours from throughout my career. In most cases, the bad manager was terminated - but usually not as fast as the direct report would like. So I would say go to HR but start looking.

I am a manager at a medium-sized government agency and HR is just to avoid lawsuits here. They do absolutely nothing for recruiting (other than post on USAJOBS) and nothing for morale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the VP. HR's job is to protect the company from lawsuits, not help employees. They cannot and will not help with your situation.

I am in HR and this the statement above is inaccurate in every job I have worked. We advise management on how to avoid discrimination or unlawful termination, but avoiding a suit itsn't the focus. Also - I am primarily held accountable for retention and morale. Bad managers are at the top of my list of things to resolve as they are the number 1 reason good employee leave! That said, I know not all HR departments are the same. I have several examples of situations like yours from throughout my career. In most cases, the bad manager was terminated - but usually not as fast as the direct report would like. So I would say go to HR but start looking.

I am a manager at a medium-sized government agency and HR is just to avoid lawsuits here. They do absolutely nothing for recruiting (other than post on USAJOBS) and nothing for morale.

+1. I think they do sometimes see things from an employee’s side when the manager is just awful, but again, that’s to avoid lawsuits.

OP, real talk. There’s something about your post that makes it seem like you just really don’t want to work for her and aren’t that good at understanding the tasks assigned and what’s required to hit the mark. Maybe your boss isn’t the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the VP. HR's job is to protect the company from lawsuits, not help employees. They cannot and will not help with your situation.

I am in HR and this the statement above is inaccurate in every job I have worked. We advise management on how to avoid discrimination or unlawful termination, but avoiding a suit itsn't the focus. Also - I am primarily held accountable for retention and morale. Bad managers are at the top of my list of things to resolve as they are the number 1 reason good employee leave! That said, I know not all HR departments are the same. I have several examples of situations like yours from throughout my career. In most cases, the bad manager was terminated - but usually not as fast as the direct report would like. So I would say go to HR but start looking.

This is pretty much the line I hear from folks on the HR side. Almost nobody outside of HR who is over 30 believes them.
I mean, it sounds reasonable enough. We just trust what we see with our own eyes over what somebody says. (especially if that somebody has, not just a "conflict of interest" but an official and paid opposing interest)

Look aggressively, now.

Sounds like the OP did the worst thing s/he could have done under the circumstances. I've made similar mistakes, so I won't be like other posters and say "I told you so." Some people need to learn from experience. I guaranty the OP won't make the same mistake twice.

HR is not and never will be your friend. Any HR person who tells you the above BS is not only lying to you, but is lying to themselves. HR is there to protect the company and to keep upper management happy. It will not - and I repeat WILL NOT - do anything that kills the Golden Goose, whether that person is a mid-level manager, top salesperson, etc... The bottom line is the only thing that matters. In my 25 years in the workforce I have seen one contrary instance of this, and HR had nothing to do with it - except, of course, to argue that the employee appeared to need "coaching." Fortunately in that case, the employee had been the college roommate of the CEO's daughter. She told the true story to the daughter, who in turn told her dad. The CEO was so incensed at being misled that he fired the head of HR and the problematic manager.

[Anonymous]

Lesson learned OP unfortunately.

In my 20s, I complained about another employee to HR and next to thing I know my boss is trying to get rid of me. Long story short, I started looking, was hired within a few weeks and rolled out smiling at my old boss. What really pissed her off my last day is I call the cops and told them she might try to do something on my way out.

NEVER go to HR EVER