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1. The fact that he has to consult with his mom on every little thing.
2. He is unable to do basic things like cut grass. |
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that he would never make good on his promise to quit smoking.
18 years later... |
| His mother. She’s getting worse as she gets older. He feels some sort of obligation to placate her and her entitlement. |
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That he was seeing someone else at the same time we were dating. Even after we were engaged.
Found the texts after we were married. |
| That he wouldn't be able to handle real, actual life struggles and problems. |
| The extent to which he would push everything onto me once we had kids (even non-kid stuff). It's not that he doesn't remember that things need to get done, it's just that every time he thinks of something that needs to get done, he "reminds" me about it rather than doing it himself, even if doing it himself would take about seven seconds longer than telling me about it. |
| Nothing. No one's perfect, but my husband is pretty wonderful. I imagine he might have one or two things about me, though. |
Same. He's better than I thought I was signing up for. |
| This thread should be called “why i don’t want to get married” and i can direct my nosy relatives to it when they ask why I’m not thinking of marriage |
Okay then this thread isn’t for you two. |
| He has an inability to call his parents or to discuss difficult things with them. For instance, we're flying to my family's house for Christmas (spent Christmas with his last year) and he knows that will upset them so he won't tell them. Not even a text. I end up having to have the difficult conversations with them and they're upset at me instead. |
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We've been married 20 years. While his snoring is irritating, there is nothing that I learned about my DH after we got married that was upsetting.
Maybe because I got married in my 30's after I had more common sense. And also because my mom educated me on how to "pick" the right person. |
You didn't notice this when you were dating? Really? Fails at vetting. Complains that her partner has serious flaws. |
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In the first few years of marriage, I could have come up with a list of 4 or 5 things to answer this question.
I'm really glad I didn't know them, because now that I have some more perspective and time, they aren't deal breakers at all. No one is perfect, and if you're expecting a partner to be everything to you, you're setting yourself up for failure. Obviously things like abuse, addiction, etc -- total deal breakers at any point. But I'm glad I didn't try to know EVERYTHING and be 100% certain before getting married, because it gave me the commitment and mental space to learn to accept his flaws too. |
| That he would gain over 50 pounds and stop having any interest in sex. |