My nieces and nephews are so spoiled and rude. Wrong for not wanting to gt them xmas presents?

[Anonymous]

My nieces and news, especially the older ones, are beyond spoiled and bratty. Their parents don't discipline them - or do, but don't carry out the "punishment" and give in fast, so they never ever learn. They constantly break the rules, talk back to their parents and adults, and are just so rude. I couldn't ever imagine treating others and adults like they do. They are older kids (10+), have everything, have so much attitude, and little gratitude. I hardly ever get thank-you responses. And they're expecting xmas presents like it's owed to them.

I feel like I don't want to get them anything this year. Or give a donation in their name. Any suggestions for what I could do?

[Anonymous]

Don't give a donation in their name. Just give nothing.

[Anonymous]

Give zilch. They’re on the naughty list.

[Anonymous]

How old?

[Anonymous]

I would buy them books. It's still a nice gift, but won't contribute to their spoiled behavior.

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids, OP? Tweens are a trying age, so if you haven’t parented through it, you might just not have realistic expectations.

Also, ask yourself how important it is to have a relationship with your nieces and nephews as they get older. You can be the fun Aunt they love to spend time with, or the annoying Aunt who disapproves of them. My kids have one of each. One aunt who is their favorite person in the world. And one whom has never made an effort to get to know them. If you really don’t care about maintaining the relationship, with the kids or your siblings, sure prove a point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't give a donation in their name. Just give nothing.

Agreed. Don't donate in their names. But let them know you do donate because the recepients are grateful and deserving.

[Anonymous]

If you want to be the mean Aunt who didnt get them anything then by all means don't, but know that it wont change their attitude/behavior.

Give them all a gift card and let their parents deal with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My nieces and news, especially the older ones, are beyond spoiled and bratty. Their parents don't discipline them - or do, but don't carry out the "punishment" and give in fast, so they never ever learn. They constantly break the rules, talk back to their parents and adults, and are just so rude. I couldn't ever imagine treating others and adults like they do. They are older kids (10+), have everything, have so much attitude, and little gratitude. I hardly ever get thank-you responses. And they're expecting xmas presents like it's owed to them.

I feel like I don't want to get them anything this year. Or give a donation in their name. Any suggestions for what I could do?

Do you have kids, OP? Serious question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids, OP? Tweens are a trying age, so if you haven’t parented through it, you might just not have realistic expectations.

Also, ask yourself how important it is to have a relationship with your nieces and nephews as they get older. You can be the fun Aunt they love to spend time with, or the annoying Aunt who disapproves of them. My kids have one of each. One aunt who is their favorite person in the world. And one whom has never made an effort to get to know them. If you really don’t care about maintaining the relationship, with the kids or your siblings, sure prove a point.

Not OP but I wouldn't care if I were the favorite aunt or even liked by these kids

[Anonymous]

Not gifting them in your situation would, ironically, be bratty and rude.

If you want to be a role model, lead by example.

But you are not the parent, and it's not your job to punish them or teach them a lesson. You sound spiteful.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely give the donation to an organization that helps youth in need/or a toy drive. My local emergency shelter for kids always has a list of things they need like new underwear, hair accessories, coats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not gifting them in your situation would, ironically, be bratty and rude.

If you want to be a role model, lead by example.

But you are not the parent, and it's not your job to punish them or teach them a lesson. You sound spiteful.

So consumerism and material crap defines manners in your world? You might want to reexamine your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not gifting them in your situation would, ironically, be bratty and rude.

If you want to be a role model, lead by example.

But you are not the parent, and it's not your job to punish them or teach them a lesson. You sound spiteful.

So consumerism and material crap defines manners in your world? You might want to reexamine your life.

I'm not sure how you got that from my post. OP seems to be asking for permission to make a point -- and a dramatic one -- by withholding gifts from her nieces and nephews. The point isn't an objection to consumerism and material goods. The point appears to be a response to her perception of the childrens' behavior and her judgment about their parents. MY point is that would just make her an insufferable bitch. If you want to discuss consumerism, start a different thread.

[Anonymous]

My nephew was really annoying and rude around the ages of 14-16. But now at the age of 20 he is a really nice young man with great ambitions.