Dating a single parent

[Anonymous]

I met a guy recently who has two kids (ages 7 and 10). He has them every Tuesday from after school until bedtime (takes them home for the night) and every Friday from after school until Saturday bedtime. They sometimes stay over Saturday night depending on what he and his ex have planned for the weekend.

He also occasionally has them another night during the week if his ex has a commitment.

Has anyone dates someone with this type of custody schedule. I feel like it will be hard as he will never have a kid free weekend, and his Saturday nights are sometimes not available either. It isnuy planned ahead earlier in the week if they are staying over but a few days isn't much time to change plans. It feels like we can't really schedule much for Saturday night as he always takes the kids / keeps the kids if he ex has other plans. The occasional extra evening also means it is hard to plan.

If you are a single parent with shared custody, how often do you say no to taking the kids extra or keeping them longer if you already had plans? It feels like we can never make plans.

I am not sure that this kind of flexible arrangement or the every weekend thing works with dating. His position is that his kids come first and it is saying that has to be flexible to adjust as need be.

Obviously these are all his calls to make and I am not going to tell him otherwise, I am just struggling to see how I can make it work (and I would like to).

[Anonymous]

It’s an odd custody arrangement. But I suspect it would be a big deal to change it if his ex isn’t on board.
So youll have to make some tough choices

[Anonymous]

Oh honey. You are already viewing his time with his kids as an annoying imposition on your couple time. This is not going to work out.

[Anonymous]

The kids need their dad. This is much more important than wine tasting or brunch or whatever random crap you want to plan. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

I am embarrassed for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh honey. You are already viewing his time with his kids as an annoying imposition on your couple time. This is not going to work out.

+1. This isn’t the man for you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Embarrassed for you too. This is nothing.

[Anonymous]

The kids need their dad. Their dad does not need you. Move on.

[Anonymous]

You just met the guy and you already want him to change his time w his kids?

[Anonymous]

He has a terrible schedule for dating, which I would take to mean he isn't really ready to date/get into a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh honey. You are already viewing his time with his kids as an annoying imposition on your couple time. This is not going to work out.

+1. This isn’t the man for you, OP.

This. A million times this. Just leave now.

[Anonymous]

This is not a man for you.

I am a single mom with 100% custody of my son. I’ve been dating a man who never, ever said a word about my kid being a nusiance. It is one of the most attractive qualities he has.

I take it you don’t have kids?

[Anonymous]

You may be a bit selfish. Open up a bit and see how fun kids are instead of claiming the dad’s time as “yours” or “theirs”.

[Anonymous]

OP, it’s OK to want to go out on the weekends, and be able to take impromptu weekend trips, and having your boyfriend’s undivided attention. There is nothing wrong with wanting those things.

This guy can’t provide you with those things though, so you should move on before you get resentful. There are lots of men out there, who have either never been married/don’t have kids, or whose kids are older and so where they sleep on Saturday night is less of a concern.

[Anonymous]

Never date a person who is divorced with children was my my one rule I always stuck to in my dating days. There will ALWAYS be ex-wife drama and most if the time kids are brats.