How important is a woman's career to finding a mate?

[Anonymous]

Piggybacking off the thread about the woman who doesn't respect her husband because of the work he does I was wondering how important is this for most mean because it was really important to my ex-husband.
I was married right out of college and since my spouse made good money and I graduated with useless degree I stayed home or did temp work to fill my time. We didn't have any children. Soon after my husband was making me feel guilty about staying at home since we didn't have kids and started pressuring me to work a full-time. He was growing resentful and I was sick of him being a jerk. Long story short, I divorced him, went to graduate school and today I have great career and I make more money than I ever thought I would. I work long hours 6 days a week most weeks. I I always thought if I made good money I would be more attractive to a potential spouse, but I'm not finding that to be the case. How important is it to a man what his potential wife does for a living?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Piggybacking off the thread about the woman who doesn't respect her husband because of the work he does I was wondering how important is this for most mean because it was really important to my ex-husband.
I was married right out of college and since my spouse made good money and I graduated with useless degree I stayed home or did temp work to fill my time. We didn't have any children. Soon after my husband was making me feel guilty about staying at home since we didn't have kids and started pressuring me to work a full-time. He was growing resentful and I was sick of him being a jerk. Long story short, I divorced him, went to graduate school and today I have great career and I make more money than I ever thought I would. I work long hours 6 days a week most weeks. I I always thought if I made good money I would be more attractive to a potential spouse, but I'm not finding that to be the case. How important is it to a man what his potential wife does for a living?

It's not jerkish to expect your unemployed spouse to look for full-time work. The idea that you should never have to have a real job because you're a woman is pretty nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Piggybacking off the thread about the woman who doesn't respect her husband because of the work he does I was wondering how important is this for most mean because it was really important to my ex-husband.
I was married right out of college and since my spouse made good money and I graduated with useless degree I stayed home or did temp work to fill my time. We didn't have any children. Soon after my husband was making me feel guilty about staying at home since we didn't have kids and started pressuring me to work a full-time. He was growing resentful and I was sick of him being a jerk. Long story short, I divorced him, went to graduate school and today I have great career and I make more money than I ever thought I would. I work long hours 6 days a week most weeks. I I always thought if I made good money I would be more attractive to a potential spouse, but I'm not finding that to be the case. How important is it to a man what his potential wife does for a living?

It's not jerkish to expect your unemployed spouse to look for full-time work. The idea that you should never have to have a real job because you're a woman is pretty nuts.

+1000. I find it breath taking how many women feel owning a vagina gives them the option of working.

[Anonymous]

OP here- I get it. I didn't expect to not work, but like I said I had useless degree and the only jobs I could get were for temp admin. assistant work. It's not because I didn't want to work. I felt really bad about myself because I wasn't qualified for better jobs and instead of being encouraged to go back to school, I was made to feel like I was useless. That's why he's jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
+1000. I find it breath taking how many women feel owning a vagina gives them the option of working.

It's more common than you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I get it. I didn't expect to not work, but like I said I had useless degree and the only jobs I could get were for temp admin. assistant work. It's not because I didn't want to work. I felt really bad about myself because I wasn't qualified for better jobs and instead of being encouraged to go back to school, I was made to feel like I was useless. That's why he's jerk.

No one forced you to marry this guy. You got married because you thought it was "time" and you were busy getting your MRS in college instead of actually developing skills for employment in the real world. You used your worthless degree as an excuse to not work and your husband got sick and tired of it. Can't blame him for a second.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Piggybacking off the thread about the woman who doesn't respect her husband because of the work he does I was wondering how important is this for most mean because it was really important to my ex-husband.
I was married right out of college and since my spouse made good money and I graduated with useless degree I stayed home or did temp work to fill my time. We didn't have any children. Soon after my husband was making me feel guilty about staying at home since we didn't have kids and started pressuring me to work a full-time. He was growing resentful and I was sick of him being a jerk. Long story short, I divorced him, went to graduate school and today I have great career and I make more money than I ever thought I would. I work long hours 6 days a week most weeks. I I always thought if I made good money I would be more attractive to a potential spouse, but I'm not finding that to be the case. How important is it to a man what his potential wife does for a living?

I think it's more that you work long hours 6 of the 7 days in a week rather than the money aspect. That doesn't give you a lot of time to be at home with a potential spouse, go out together, etc. etc. Many women don't like their husband working excessively long hours for this same reason.

That being said, do what makes you happiest. Don't scale back hours if you don't want to just to find a spouse.

[Anonymous]

So what would you have done if you didn't have a husband? You would have found a job and supported yourself somehow.

You were kind of useless. He doesn't sound like a jerk.

I would feel my husband was useless if he just thought he should do nothing and contribute nothing because he didn't do a degree that led to a great job.

Men want a woman who does her share, is an equal partner, and doesn't see him as a ticket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Piggybacking off the thread about the woman who doesn't respect her husband because of the work he does I was wondering how important is this for most mean because it was really important to my ex-husband.
I was married right out of college and since my spouse made good money and I graduated with useless degree I stayed home or did temp work to fill my time. We didn't have any children. Soon after my husband was making me feel guilty about staying at home since we didn't have kids and started pressuring me to work a full-time. He was growing resentful and I was sick of him being a jerk. Long story short, I divorced him, went to graduate school and today I have great career and I make more money than I ever thought I would. I work long hours 6 days a week most weeks. I I always thought if I made good money I would be more attractive to a potential spouse, but I'm not finding that to be the case. How important is it to a man what his potential wife does for a living?

It's not jerkish to expect your unemployed spouse to look for full-time work. The idea that you should never have to have a real job because you're a woman is pretty nuts.

+1

[Anonymous]

For me it had less to do with her career than with her intelligence....among other things! I've always found really intelligent women to be very attractive regardless of their careers.

[Anonymous]

Never mattered to me. I guess it would just be icing on the cake if I met a woman with a high paying job. DW was like you except she had a great degree, just didn't enjoy the field so when I met her she was a store clerk . When we married she worked a couple days a week until we had children then went into SAHM full time. It was the career she always wanted.
Most likely its the long hours that are keeping the men away

[Anonymous]

OP, this is getting off track.

The question has been asked before, and most men seem to say they don't give a flying f about your career. I don't mean that they don't care if you work or are productive or that you do a good job -- they want you to work and to be productive and useful and fulfilled -- but that your career and money making potential is not what attracts them to you.

[Anonymous]

Men don't care at all about a woman's career. At all.

[Anonymous]

Kudos to you for going to grad school and getting a useful degree...ignore the haters! You can still date if you work 6 days a week, but you need to make an effort and make it a priority #2 after your job. Don't get discouraged by jerks and flakers, a good man is out there for ya! Outsource your house chores, so you have more time to date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men don't care at all about a woman's career. At all.

Hmmmm....depends on a man. My hubby ex is his ex for a reason; she wanted to be taken care of, but didn't take care of herself in the process.