HS Party with Alcohol... Death

[Anonymous]

Kindergarten moms need to start their own thread.

[Anonymous]

I agree with 15:23, to always call the cops to check out a party.

This is a good thing to do even when you know your own kid might be there.

No more drinking and driving.

[Anonymous]

There are tons of kids out there who never drink. Or they drink very rarely and just a little. Tons. Tell me, what are their parents doing right? Or what else is going on in their lives that help them make wise choices? It's not a given that teens party stupid, drunk, and high. Not at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are tons of kids out there who never drink. Or they drink very rarely and just a little. Tons. Tell me, what are their parents doing right? Or what else is going on in their lives that help them make wise choices? It's not a given that teens party stupid, drunk, and high. Not at all.

Their parents have set a good example, as in, Just say "No."
The kids do not need to be attending these drinking parties.
Again, just say "No."

If we don't set healthy boundaries, how can the kids do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was the blood alcohol level of the drunk drunk driver reported, or is it being kept secret?

Sources say the driver's BAC was over .10.
http://www.wusa9.com/story/news/local/2015/06/26/double-fatal-car-crash-north-potomac/29319941/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are tons of kids out there who never drink. Or they drink very rarely and just a little. Tons. Tell me, what are their parents doing right? Or what else is going on in their lives that help them make wise choices? It's not a given that teens party stupid, drunk, and high. Not at all.

Their parents have set a good example, as in, Just say "No."
The kids do not need to be attending these drinking parties.
Again, just say "No."

If we don't set healthy boundaries, how can the kids do it?

Or their parents said no and they snuck out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is another article about the "Sherwood" accident, where the driver just pled guilty. Apparently the parents at the host part house were out of the country. The individual who lived there was having lots of loud parties late into the night. A neighbor didn't want to "call the cops" on the kids so sent an email to the homeowners association. But that night was the fatal accident.
Moral of story? Call the police on underage drinking parties.

Do parents really leave their teens home alone and go out of town?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is another article about the "Sherwood" accident, where the driver just pled guilty. Apparently the parents at the host part house were out of the country. The individual who lived there was having lots of loud parties late into the night. A neighbor didn't want to "call the cops" on the kids so sent an email to the homeowners association. But that night was the fatal accident.
Moral of story? Call the police on underage drinking parties.

Do parents really leave their teens home alone and go out of town?

My neighbor does. And one of the kids in the car is a regular visitor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say 21:17 is clueless. This thread is just another perfect example how adults knew damn well these kids were drinking and driving. And did nothing to stop it.

And I'd say you're clueless if you think teens don't fool their parents all the time. Perhaps you were born an adult and somehow missed the teenage years....

FWIW, I have teens and no parent I know would willingly allow their kids to drink and drive, but kids are good at deception. There was one adult who allowed kids to have a party at his house and while not providing booze, looked the other way. Other parents knew this and were furious. They told their kids not to go there, but even some of the good kids sneaked over -- it's called peer pressure. Ultimately, the kid who t threw the party went away to a substance abuse program, but I'm sure the parties only moved to another house. Particularly by junior year, it seems, you need to watch your kids like a hawk. They think they're invincible and for every horrible fatal crash, their are tons of other kids who get away with driving drunk and continue to do it.

Once you know your kid has started drinking, why in the hell does a parent allow him driving privileges? This sounds more like parent self-deception, but it feels good, huh?

Or when you see that your kid is lying about where exactly he's going at night, why keeping giving him the privilege of going out at night? Because he's got you believing it's his right? Like the car?

Wow. Kind of judgmental aren't we? Was just sharing the facts as I know them in my area, not saying I turned a blind eye to my own kids. Oldest teen, now in college and didn't drink before he got there, so drinking and driving not an issue. Other kid not yet driving. Not going to parties either as a little immature for grade. But I know a lot of people in the area and a lot of kids so I know what goes on and who the players are. Trust me, I've no illusions and no fear of brining the hammer down if I ever learn my kids are up to what they shouldn't be.

And none of this feels good.. It's not fun, but it's parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is another article about the "Sherwood" accident, where the driver just pled guilty. Apparently the parents at the host part house were out of the country. The individual who lived there was having lots of loud parties late into the night. A neighbor didn't want to "call the cops" on the kids so sent an email to the homeowners association. But that night was the fatal accident.
Moral of story? Call the police on underage drinking parties.

Do parents really leave their teens home alone and go out of town?

My neighbor does. And one of the kids in the car is a regular visitor.

Wow! When I was growing up the "parents are away" was the party house, I can't believe parents still that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are tons of kids out there who never drink. Or they drink very rarely and just a little. Tons. Tell me, what are their parents doing right? Or what else is going on in their lives that help them make wise choices? It's not a given that teens party stupid, drunk, and high. Not at all.

This is so true!! But to answer your question, once they hit high school it no longer a question of "what are their parents doing right", but rather "did they end up in the right friend group".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say 21:17 is clueless. This thread is just another perfect example how adults knew damn well these kids were drinking and driving. And did nothing to stop it.

And I'd say you're clueless if you think teens don't fool their parents all the time. Perhaps you were born an adult and somehow missed the teenage years....

FWIW, I have teens and no parent I know would willingly allow their kids to drink and drive, but kids are good at deception. There was one adult who allowed kids to have a party at his house and while not providing booze, looked the other way. Other parents knew this and were furious. They told their kids not to go there, but even some of the good kids sneaked over -- it's called peer pressure. Ultimately, the kid who t threw the party went away to a substance abuse program, but I'm sure the parties only moved to another house. Particularly by junior year, it seems, you need to watch your kids like a hawk. They think they're invincible and for every horrible fatal crash, their are tons of other kids who get away with driving drunk and continue to do it.

Once you know your kid has started drinking, why in the hell does a parent allow him driving privileges? This sounds more like parent self-deception, but it feels good, huh?

Or when you see that your kid is lying about where exactly he's going at night, why keeping giving him the privilege of going out at night? Because he's got you believing it's his right? Like the car?

Wow. Kind of judgmental aren't we? Was just sharing the facts as I know them in my area, not saying I turned a blind eye to my own kids. Oldest teen, now in college and didn't drink before he got there, so drinking and driving not an issue. Other kid not yet driving. Not going to parties either as a little immature for grade. But I know a lot of people in the area and a lot of kids so I know what goes on and who the players are. Trust me, I've no illusions and no fear of brining the hammer down if I ever learn my kids are up to what they shouldn't be.

And none of this feels good.. It's not fun, but it's parenting.

I am sorry you felt judged, but what I said is not personal. If we as concerned parents and community members hope to get a grip on this problem, we needn't be afraid of saying what might help.

What I said is kids (who are still being supported by their parents) should not be given unlimited freedom to get into trouble by going to parties. Once they start drinking in these environments, everything you've taught them goes out the window, doesn't it? Should we simply hope for good luck that nothing tragic happens to "my" kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are tons of kids out there who never drink. Or they drink very rarely and just a little. Tons. Tell me, what are their parents doing right? Or what else is going on in their lives that help them make wise choices? It's not a given that teens party stupid, drunk, and high. Not at all.

This is so true!! But to answer your question, once they hit high school it no longer a question of "what are their parents doing right", but rather "did they end up in the right friend group".

True. But when kids are young, you have lots of opportunity
to influence how they select their friends.

Learning how to be prudently "judgmental" is essential.
Or how can kids learn to select (and be) a good friend?

[Anonymous]

If you child leaves to go out with a backpack, and you do not stop them, consider yourselves complicit. You are complicit. Give them a tote instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you child leaves to go out with a backpack, and you do not stop them, consider yourselves complicit. You are complicit. Give them a tote instead.

Huh? A tote? For what?