Life just feels like a slog

[Anonymous]

And I feel like a jerk for feeling this way. I've busted my ass to get educated and support my husband in getting a grad degree. I have a lovely home and two healthy children. I have a good job. But I am so. effing. TIRED. Every day feels like a rat race. I'm bored of my work. I am uninspired. I honestly wish my husband could land some amazing job and I could quit. I would take care of my toddler and volunteer at my older son's school and do other things in the community and take care of my garden and maybe have more time for friends and I wouldn't have to eat tacos and spaghetti and meatballs almost every fucking week because who the hell has time to cook anything that takes time, effort or mental energy?

I mean, I know this is not unique. I'm sure a lot of you feel this way too. Just venting.

What do you do to get out of these funks?

[Anonymous]

You gotta do better prioritizing and planning OP. You can have an awesome life (you have your health, the rest is up to you!)

Listen to this:

http://www.asianefficiency.com/podcast/083-kendra-wright/

[Anonymous]

Not sure where you live or what you do for a living but maybe, move? Somewhere with a slower pace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure where you live or what you do for a living but maybe, move? Somewhere with a slower pace.

I have a "slower pace," I guess. Where I live is as slow as it gets without being in the middle of a rural cow patch. It really doesn't have to do with geography. I just think I have limits as a person, no matter where I am, and being management at work, and a mom, and a wife, and friend, sister, daughter, etc - for me it's just too much. I can't switch on and off easily. Everything bleeds into one, and I feel like there are just too many demands and too many thoughts and concerns and worries and to-dos all the time. I hate it.

[Anonymous]

No good advice OP, I'm just right there with you. I'm annoyed with myself for feeling so tired, bored, uninspired, just not happy overall. I hate my job, my relationship is difficult and it's hard having little kids. I try to tell myself it's just a chapter in my life and it'll get better eventually. I just try to take it one day at a time and recognize and appreciate a good day when I have one.

[Anonymous]

Same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You gotta do better prioritizing and planning OP. You can have an awesome life (you have your health, the rest is up to you!)

Listen to this:

http://www.asianefficiency.com/podcast/083-kendra-wright/

PP, I've read all this stuff. And I am perfectly capable of doing it. I can get it all done. It's not about that. It's about how I feel. I can be uber-productive but it just feels hollow and it all flies by and it all bleeds into a big blur. There's so much, and so much planning, that goes into making it all work. Home feels like work, too. I have two full time jobs, and I am manager at both. And yes, my husband is a great partner and he brings in his share of income and does his share of childcare, housework, etc. I'm sorry, but all these sites sell a myth. On an existential level I just do not derive meaning and satisfaction from being super-woman. It matters to me that I am providing for my family and my kids, but there is little joy in it. I would like more time for actual joy. For togetherness that is not planned because this is our one three hour window and by God we are going to cram some fucking fun in if it kills us!!!

And before anyone goes there, no I do not have money to hire a cleaner/nanny/cook/gardener.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No good advice OP, I'm just right there with you. I'm annoyed with myself for feeling so tired, bored, uninspired, just not happy overall. I hate my job, my relationship is difficult and it's hard having little kids. I try to tell myself it's just a chapter in my life and it'll get better eventually. I just try to take it one day at a time and recognize and appreciate a good day when I have one.

Same, PP. It just really helps to hear it. In my case I have friends who have really terrible shit going on. I try to remind myself that compared to them I have it really good and I've no real right to complain. I actually kind of hate myself for feeling the way I do. Compared to how I grew up, I have it golden. And yet. . .here I am. Ugh. WTF is wrong with me?

[Anonymous]

I genuinely feel the same way, OP, but then I think about the fact that people have it a lot worse. I feel really bleh working and then making dinner and dragging DS to soccer, but then I remember that there are people working and making dinner and then wishing that they had the extra $200 to be able to sign their kid up for rec soccer and drag them to it.

[Anonymous]

1) Exercise
2) Practice your faith or spirituality
3) Volunteer for a cause you care about
4) Make time for friends
5) Learn a new language

I do all of these and they add dimension and meaning to my life, along with my family. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gotta do better prioritizing and planning OP. You can have an awesome life (you have your health, the rest is up to you!)

Listen to this:

http://www.asianefficiency.com/podcast/083-kendra-wright/

PP, I've read all this stuff. And I am perfectly capable of doing it. I can get it all done. It's not about that. It's about how I feel. I can be uber-productive but it just feels hollow and it all flies by and it all bleeds into a big blur. There's so much, and so much planning, that goes into making it all work. Home feels like work, too. I have two full time jobs, and I am manager at both. And yes, my husband is a great partner and he brings in his share of income and does his share of childcare, housework, etc. I'm sorry, but all these sites sell a myth. On an existential level I just do not derive meaning and satisfaction from being super-woman. It matters to me that I am providing for my family and my kids, but there is little joy in it. I would like more time for actual joy. For togetherness that is not planned because this is our one three hour window and by God we are going to cram some fucking fun in if it kills us!!!

And before anyone goes there, no I do not have money to hire a cleaner/nanny/cook/gardener.

K cool op. Glad you came asking for advice that you don't want to take. Oh wait, you actually just want to wallow in your misery. That's cool. Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gotta do better prioritizing and planning OP. You can have an awesome life (you have your health, the rest is up to you!)

Listen to this:

http://www.asianefficiency.com/podcast/083-kendra-wright/

PP, I've read all this stuff. And I am perfectly capable of doing it. I can get it all done. It's not about that. It's about how I feel. I can be uber-productive but it just feels hollow and it all flies by and it all bleeds into a big blur. There's so much, and so much planning, that goes into making it all work. Home feels like work, too. I have two full time jobs, and I am manager at both. And yes, my husband is a great partner and he brings in his share of income and does his share of childcare, housework, etc. I'm sorry, but all these sites sell a myth. On an existential level I just do not derive meaning and satisfaction from being super-woman. It matters to me that I am providing for my family and my kids, but there is little joy in it. I would like more time for actual joy. For togetherness that is not planned because this is our one three hour window and by God we are going to cram some fucking fun in if it kills us!!!

And before anyone goes there, no I do not have money to hire a cleaner/nanny/cook/gardener.

K cool op. Glad you came asking for advice that you don't want to take. Oh wait, you actually just want to wallow in your misery. That's cool. Enjoy!

Have you heard of venting? I imagine you're a fun friend, full of sympathy and great listening skills. Or, you know, not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) Exercise
2) Practice your faith or spirituality
3) Volunteer for a cause you care about
4) Make time for friends
5) Learn a new language

I do all of these and they add dimension and meaning to my life, along with my family. Good luck!

I know. I've let 1 and 2 slide and I have to get my shit together there. They do help a ton. I already do 3. 4 I need to do better. 5 I have no idea how I'd make time. Does helping my kid with his Spanish homework count?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I genuinely feel the same way, OP, but then I think about the fact that people have it a lot worse. I feel really bleh working and then making dinner and dragging DS to soccer, but then I remember that there are people working and making dinner and then wishing that they had the extra $200 to be able to sign their kid up for rec soccer and drag them to it.

I know. So when you feel bleh at work, how do you get your focus back? I just have zero fucks to give right now. . .in the past I've taken my laptop and gone to the local Starbucks for a change of scenery. Maybe I should give that a whirl again. . .

[Anonymous]

^^you're right. It's a trigger for me when people complain but don't want to do anything to change their situation. Extra points if they think they already know everything. I'm cool with that aspect of my personality. And I'm a great friend who's here to help you out if you actually want to improve things. No patience if you don't. (Note, I'm not the one who hates my life).