DS and girlfriend just told us they are applying to colleges on opposite sides of the country!

[Anonymous]

First, although I am shocked, I am very proud of their maturity in making this decision. We are in California and I knew that girlfriend was going to go to a school back east and assumed my son would as well. It is just September but they told DH and I together that this was the only way they could see being together later in life - if they broke up for college.
Second, I am thrilled that DS is staying on the west coast but worried he might regret not applying to an Ivy just because the girlfriend "called" the east coast.
Third, is all this maturity too good to be true? They are both 17 and really smart, good kids - they have been together for over a year and are very close. She practically lives at our house and my son spent the summer working for her father.


But all in all, I should be happy, right? DS will apply to schools in California and date other girls once he gets to college. Could it really be this easy and smooth?

Anyone else have a kid who decided that he and the girlfriend/boyfreind would break up in a year?

[Anonymous]

They sound really stupid and so do you, for being proud of them.

1. College decisions should have nothing to do with who you're dating and where they're going.

2. It's only application time. They're not sure they're even getting in, but I'm 100% sure they won't go to the ones they didn't apply to! Talk of closing doors.

Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
They sound really stupid and so do you, for being proud of them.

1. College decisions should have nothing to do with who you're dating and where they're going.

2. It's only application time. They're not sure they're even getting in, but I'm 100% sure they won't go to the ones they didn't apply to! Talk of closing doors.

Unbelievable.

Oh, chill. I am thrilled they don't plan to go to the same college and stay exclusive.

They will get into the colleges they choose - trust me on that.

You really need to calm down, PP - this is my kid and this is his life. Nothing to do with you. If you have nothing to add but pathetic "you're stupid" insults move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
They sound really stupid and so do you, for being proud of them.

1. College decisions should have nothing to do with who you're dating and where they're going.

2. It's only application time. They're not sure they're even getting in, but I'm 100% sure they won't go to the ones they didn't apply to! Talk of closing doors.

Unbelievable.

Oh, chill. I am thrilled they don't plan to go to the same college and stay exclusive.

They will get into the colleges they choose - trust me on that.

You really need to calm down, PP - this is my kid and this is his life. Nothing to do with you. If you have nothing to add but pathetic "you're stupid" insults move on.

Ha ha. Then why post online, OP?
Sometimes the truth hurts. It's best you hear it from anonymous people who don't know you in real life.

Encourage your child not to limit himself geographically. There is a very very small chance they will end up at the same college, and even if they do, a very small chance of seeing much of each other or resuming their relationship.

[Anonymous]

I do think it is smart of them to break up before college and go to different parts of the country. California has amazing schools - Stanford, Berkeley, Cal Tech, UCLA, Pomona - your son will not miss anything on the east coast except very expensive flights home.

I would worry about emotional moments as the acceptances come in.

Full disclosure. DH and I were high school sweethearts and very much in love. My family had a major crisis and we moved, suddenly, to South Africa and then England in the middle of my senior year and DH and I broke up. I went to college in Europe and he stayed in the states and we lost touch. I was devastated for a good year. Then, after we both graduated from college, he found me in Scotland... we were married a year later and have been together for the last 20 plus years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
They sound really stupid and so do you, for being proud of them.

1. College decisions should have nothing to do with who you're dating and where they're going.

2. It's only application time. They're not sure they're even getting in, but I'm 100% sure they won't go to the ones they didn't apply to! Talk of closing doors.

Unbelievable.

+1. OP you are putting the cart way ahead of the horse here. And as much as you like to think they are being super mature by not making their college decisions based on each other...actually that's exactly what they ARE doing. He is closing off all these doors for himself by deciding to not even APPLYING to an entire (substantial!) geographic of schools...that shows a serious lack in judgment and just plain common sense. If anything it sounds like a weird dramatic teenage romcom drama-esque way of thinking. I certainly would not be supportive of this, much less proud...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
They sound really stupid and so do you, for being proud of them.

1. College decisions should have nothing to do with who you're dating and where they're going.

2. It's only application time. They're not sure they're even getting in, but I'm 100% sure they won't go to the ones they didn't apply to! Talk of closing doors.

Unbelievable.

Oh, chill. I am thrilled they don't plan to go to the same college and stay exclusive.

They will get into the colleges they choose - trust me on that.

You really need to calm down, PP - this is my kid and this is his life. Nothing to do with you. If you have nothing to add but pathetic "you're stupid" insults move on.

Ha ha. Then why post online, OP?
Sometimes the truth hurts. It's best you hear it from anonymous people who don't know you in real life.

Encourage your child not to limit himself geographically. There is a very very small chance they will end up at the same college, and even if they do, a very small chance of seeing much of each other or resuming their relationship.

No, I actually like that he is staying in California! That is the good part of his decision as far as I am concerned - I just didn't want him to make the decision because his girlfriend chose the east coast. We do have amazing universities here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
They sound really stupid and so do you, for being proud of them.

1. College decisions should have nothing to do with who you're dating and where they're going.

2. It's only application time. They're not sure they're even getting in, but I'm 100% sure they won't go to the ones they didn't apply to! Talk of closing doors.

Unbelievable.

+1. OP you are putting the cart way ahead of the horse here. And as much as you like to think they are being super mature by not making their college decisions based on each other...actually that's exactly what they ARE doing. He is closing off all these doors for himself by deciding to not even APPLYING to an entire (substantial!) geographic of schools...that shows a serious lack in judgment and just plain common sense. If anything it sounds like a weird dramatic teenage romcom drama-esque way of thinking. I certainly would not be supportive of this, much less proud...

I actually WANT him to stay in California. It is much, much less expensive and he has always talked about going to Stanford or Pomona.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
They sound really stupid and so do you, for being proud of them.

1. College decisions should have nothing to do with who you're dating and where they're going.

2. It's only application time. They're not sure they're even getting in, but I'm 100% sure they won't go to the ones they didn't apply to! Talk of closing doors.

Unbelievable.

Oh, chill. I am thrilled they don't plan to go to the same college and stay exclusive.

They will get into the colleges they choose - trust me on that.

You really need to calm down, PP - this is my kid and this is his life. Nothing to do with you. If you have nothing to add but pathetic "you're stupid" insults move on.

Ha ha. Then why post online, OP?
Sometimes the truth hurts. It's best you hear it from anonymous people who don't know you in real life.

Encourage your child not to limit himself geographically. There is a very very small chance they will end up at the same college, and even if they do, a very small chance of seeing much of each other or resuming their relationship.

No, I actually like that he is staying in California! That is the good part of his decision as far as I am concerned - I just didn't want him to make the decision because his girlfriend chose the east coast. We do have amazing universities here.

Of course you're happy. You don't want to your child to move too far away and that fact is blinding you to the opportunities he will miss. I didn't write that in my first post because it's so obvious that your motivations are unconsciously self-centered.

[Anonymous]

... 23:03 again. There are wonderful schools in California. However you need to be familiarize yourself with probabilities. Odds of getting into a good college are maximized if you apply to a diverse group of interesting colleges. By looking at the whole USA (and perhaps Canada, the UK, or elsewhere if he speaks the language), your son increases his chances of being happy with his choice.

[Anonymous]

Do they realize how big the east coast is? Why would they think being in Boston and LA is any harder than Bates and Washington-Lee?

My family is coming Vince's that my niece and her boyfriend won't last till November and they are at different schools in the same city.

[Anonymous]

I wish my DD and her boyfriend would decide to apply to colleges on different continents.

I envy you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with wanting to cut out the expense of air travel. It gets fricking expensive. My DD is in school in California and DS is in school in Chicago. It adds up and is really breaking the bank for us here in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
They sound really stupid and so do you, for being proud of them.

1. College decisions should have nothing to do with who you're dating and where they're going.

2. It's only application time. They're not sure they're even getting in, but I'm 100% sure they won't go to the ones they didn't apply to! Talk of closing doors.

Unbelievable.

+1. OP you are putting the cart way ahead of the horse here. And as much as you like to think they are being super mature by not making their college decisions based on each other...actually that's exactly what they ARE doing. He is closing off all these doors for himself by deciding to not even APPLYING to an entire (substantial!) geographic of schools...that shows a serious lack in judgment and just plain common sense. If anything it sounds like a weird dramatic teenage romcom drama-esque way of thinking. I certainly would not be supportive of this, much less proud...

I actually WANT him to stay in California. It is much, much less expensive and he has always talked about going to Stanford or Pomona.

How are Stanford or Pomona less expensive? Those are private colleges with tuition at the same level as other expensive private schools.

Encourage both of them to apply to the schools they are most interested in. Unlikely they will still be dating by year end anyway so not worth planning around. And even if they are still dating it's unlikely they will end up st the same school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
They sound really stupid and so do you, for being proud of them.

1. College decisions should have nothing to do with who you're dating and where they're going.

2. It's only application time. They're not sure they're even getting in, but I'm 100% sure they won't go to the ones they didn't apply to! Talk of closing doors.

Unbelievable.

+1. OP you are putting the cart way ahead of the horse here. And as much as you like to think they are being super mature by not making their college decisions based on each other...actually that's exactly what they ARE doing. He is closing off all these doors for himself by deciding to not even APPLYING to an entire (substantial!) geographic of schools...that shows a serious lack in judgment and just plain common sense. If anything it sounds like a weird dramatic teenage romcom drama-esque way of thinking. I certainly would not be supportive of this, much less proud...

I actually WANT him to stay in California. It is much, much less expensive and he has always talked about going to Stanford or Pomona.

How are Stanford or Pomona less expensive? Those are private colleges with tuition at the same level as other expensive private schools.

Encourage both of them to apply to the schools they are most interested in. Unlikely they will still be dating by year end anyway so not worth planning around. And even if they are still dating it's unlikely they will end up st the same school.

Not OP but no airfare. Or very short inexpensive flights. I am the PP above with the kids in California and Chicago and it is very expensive. Plus shipping stuff out to them rather than just driving it out.