DS and girlfriend just told us they are applying to colleges on opposite sides of the country!

[Anonymous]

I am surprised by some of the "stupid" responses. We are in Los Angeles, too and DD and her the boyfriend decided to do the same thing. DD applied only to music conservatories back east and her boyfriend applied to colleges only in California. Both got into top programs and they broke up. Second semester, their junior year, they had a chance meeting in Europe and started dating again - long distance until he graduated and then he joined her in NY. They were married a year later.

So... not so stupid. He got into a top medical school and she graduated from the top music school in the country and is now a professional musician.

[Anonymous]

What I think is stupid is trying to actively control something like this. A. Each kid should apply and go to whatever school THEY want to go to and will suit them best regardless of geography. Limiting their choices because it might be proximal to the other is utter nonsense. B. To think that this will just be simple and easy is where they are really fooling themselves. Whatever they do there will be challenges and heartbreak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised by some of the "stupid" responses. We are in Los Angeles, too and DD and her the boyfriend decided to do the same thing. DD applied only to music conservatories back east and her boyfriend applied to colleges only in California. Both got into top programs and they broke up. Second semester, their junior year, they had a chance meeting in Europe and started dating again - long distance until he graduated and then he joined her in NY. They were married a year later.

So... not so stupid. He got into a top medical school and she graduated from the top music school in the country and is now a professional musician.

Well with a sample size of one then we must conclude it is a brilliant idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised by some of the "stupid" responses. We are in Los Angeles, too and DD and her the boyfriend decided to do the same thing. DD applied only to music conservatories back east and her boyfriend applied to colleges only in California. Both got into top programs and they broke up. Second semester, their junior year, they had a chance meeting in Europe and started dating again - long distance until he graduated and then he joined her in NY. They were married a year later.

So... not so stupid. He got into a top medical school and she graduated from the top music school in the country and is now a professional musician.

Well with a sample size of one then we must conclude it is a brilliant idea.

Yet with a sample size of zero, you are concluding that it is "stupid"?

I also think OP's son and his girlfriend are making a good decision.

[Anonymous]

Why are you so against him staying with this girl? I married my high school boyfriend and we both went to the same college and same graduate school! 17 years later we're happy with three kids. In my close friend group of ~7 women, 3 of us are married to people we met in high school.

This girl obviously sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders if as you write she can get into whichever east coast college she applies to, and if your son, who sounds intelligent, likes her so much. Are you just bitter at losing congtrol and not being the #1 woman in his life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised by some of the "stupid" responses. We are in Los Angeles, too and DD and her the boyfriend decided to do the same thing. DD applied only to music conservatories back east and her boyfriend applied to colleges only in California. Both got into top programs and they broke up. Second semester, their junior year, they had a chance meeting in Europe and started dating again - long distance until he graduated and then he joined her in NY. They were married a year later.

So... not so stupid. He got into a top medical school and she graduated from the top music school in the country and is now a professional musician.

So, the deliberately excluded schools on the coast the other was going to? A kid (and parents, if they're paying) should make college decisions based on what's best for her. Excluding schools because your BF is applying to schools in that half of the country is stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, the deliberately excluded schools on the coast the other was going to? A kid (and parents, if they're paying) should make college decisions based on what's best for her. Excluding schools because your BF is applying to schools in that half of the country is stupid.

+1

[Anonymous]

I doubt the son ever wanted to leave California and the girlfriend never wanted to stay in state. You guys are taking a couple of kids at their word.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the girl and her father saw how OP's son worked this summer, and wisely decided to ditch him.

But you go on rubbing your hands with glee if it makes you feel better, OP. I can definitely relate to wanting my children close by... the difference is that I will encourage them to apply where they fit best, whether it's in this country or another continent. I want the best for them.

[Anonymous]

There are so many issues jumbled together in this scenario, breaking up for college, massive parts of the country " off-limits" , i would personally not be happy if my child self-limited even looking at a huge number of very good schools for an inane reason like not being on the same coast as a high school sweetheart. Doesn't seem like very good decision making and also it doesn't seem like each student is acting in the best interest of the other. Wouldn't you want your high school sweetheart to go to the very best school that is right for him/her unrelated to geography?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised by some of the "stupid" responses. We are in Los Angeles, too and DD and her the boyfriend decided to do the same thing. DD applied only to music conservatories back east and her boyfriend applied to colleges only in California. Both got into top programs and they broke up. Second semester, their junior year, they had a chance meeting in Europe and started dating again - long distance until he graduated and then he joined her in NY. They were married a year later.

So... not so stupid. He got into a top medical school and she graduated from the top music school in the country and is now a professional musician.

Well with a sample size of one then we must conclude it is a brilliant idea.

Yet with a sample size of zero, you are concluding that it is "stupid"?

I also think OP's son and his girlfriend are making a good decision.

Good, evolution at work.

[Anonymous]

This is a strange thread. The exclamation mark in the title makes me think OP is way too involved.

[Anonymous]

The internet and cell phones make it possible to never break up even on opposite coasts. My brother and his high school girlfriend were off and on for another 17 YEARS after high school despite him going to NYU and her going to Tulane. As they graduated high school in 1999, the internet wasn't even the thing it is now, and they still managed it.

Many of my brother's friends are still people he knew in high school in Alabama, despite the fact he moved to Manhattan at 18 and never left. So, this is a plan without a mechanism.

[Anonymous]

I don't get any of this. So, you hate the girlfriend? You are sad that your DS might not apply to Ivies, as well? You are glad DS will be closer to you? They decided to break up for college? Should't they be applying to colleges that are the best fit and have studies they are interested in? Why are you posting on DCUM if you are in California. So basically you expected your DD to be head over heel besotted to follow the girl to college? Sounds like you have no clue about your own son't maturity. This is such a weird post I have no idea what to make of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
They sound really stupid and so do you, for being proud of them.

1. College decisions should have nothing to do with who you're dating and where they're going.

2. It's only application time. They're not sure they're even getting in, but I'm 100% sure they won't go to the ones they didn't apply to! Talk of closing doors.

Unbelievable.

+1

Why are they limiting themselves? Stupid kids.

I don't know but doesn't every kid limit him or herself in choosing three or five colleges to apply to? I was from Chicago and my parents insisted that I stay in the midwest to go to school for economic reasons. What's the difference?

But why limit yourself based on another person? And limit in such a big way (east coast vs west coast)? If these kids were both accepted at the same school and both want to go THEN it's worth having a discussion. Until then, it's STUPID for them to limit themselves just for this reason. (Kinda crappy for your parents to limit you geographically too IMO.)

Kids apply to more than 3-5 schools these days. Heck, I did too a million years ago.